FEELING USELESS

I’ve had no words to write lately. Actually hadn’t even thought of it lately having so much going on in my own life. Time has been of short supply lately due to health issues not only with me but also with my husband being hospitalized for heart related issues. Thank the Lord he was just put on another medication, has been home all week, and now has a cardiologist to see. I sure never thought I’d be facing this with my spouse when I’m only 51 and he just turned 47. But, we don’t know what life will bring so we take it one day at a time. The Lord knows with all my past health related issues that I’d sure need to take life one day at a time so I learned early on: 

*Matthew 6:34 ”Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

In December I got some kind of a 3 day bug during a couple of different weeks which slowed me down tremendously. Then I’ve just felt like I was dragging and useless. So much work around the house and yard piling up. The fact that my husband has chosen to neglect some of his responsibilities around our house hasn’t helped me to keep it all out of sight, either. I felt like I was being ‘buried beneath’ it all. And, I truly got the words to my most recently found like of a song with the same name “Buried Beneath” by Red once more. About being buried beneath this world’s garbage and asking Him to reach down and pull me out.
Then a couple of Sundays ago I sat praying and seeking God while the worship team practiced. The Lord led me to John 12:
*John 12 “Then, six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus was who had been dead, whom He had raised from the dead. 2 There they made Him a supper; and Martha served, but Lazarus was one of those who sat at the table with Him. Then Mary took a pound of very costly oil of spikenard, anointed the feet of Jesus, and wiped His feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the oil.
But one of His disciples, Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, who would betray Him, said, “Why was this fragrant oil not sold for three hundred denarii and given to the poor?” This he said, not that he cared for the poor, but because he was a thief, and had the money box; and he used to take what was put in it.
But Jesus said, “Let her alone; she has kept this for the day of My burial. For the poor you have with you always, but Me you do not have always.””

And I knew what He was telling me. That He had raised me from the dead in 1988, so that I could be a Mary. I’ve had several spells now of being semi-locked away from the world since that day in 1988. He didn’t reach down and pull me out of that bottomless pit so I could physically do, but so that I could sit at His feet, at least during this time of healing in my own life (always taking life one day at a time)!

And, that Sunday the events went on to the very same story being shared in the sermon, which I knew was His confirmation to me. I was in awe but as I continue to remind myself (need to pound it into my head sometimes) it’s finally sinking in.
This morning I asked Him what I could do for Him today and within just a few minutes these words started to come. Hidden away from the rest of the world I’m able to spend many hours per week with Him, writing and doing artwork. Not such a bad life, huh?

          

By an unknown artist and shared by me, faithfully!

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!