I Almost Died but Jesus said NO

In retrospect to just a little more than a month ago I believe I will start off with this song that keeps going through my head:

You do just never know what way your life will turn tomorrow.  We actually thought that we were eating fairly well, at least as well as the next person.  Who knew that pizza contained enough salt to kill a person?  We sure had no clue that when we were given free pizza coupons that we were risking my life in ordering!  I love pizza.  I knew it was a fattening meal but neither of us had a clue that it would send me to the hospital and even fascilitate a heart attack.  And I ate just 4 small square cut pieces that amounted to maybe 1 ½ slices.  I was told that my heart and lungs were not strong enough to pump off the water retention that the salt in the pizza created. 

We were watching TV with our easy (?) pizza dinner.  Within a few minutes I was gasping for air yelling for my husband to call 9-1-1.  It was so very scary that it took me more than a month to get the image out of my mind.  I’ve been through so much illness in the past yet not being able to breath is the worst.  Too much was going on for me to even think about chest pain, and I was having a heart attack in the midst of an attack of Congestive Heart Failure.

Congestive heart failure (CHF) is a condition in which the heart can no longer pump blood as efficiently as it used to. This causes blood and other fluids to back up in the body – particularly in the liver, lungs, hands, and feet.

I was admitted to the hospital with the idea of giving me IV diuretics and soon doing a cardiac catheter (my 4h one this year).  This time went by and we were praising God at the outcome of the Cardiac Catheter being that no additional damage had been done.  I had no idea that when I was released following this procedure on Thursday that I would be returning just a few days later.

Pizza again?  Yep, the same culprit!  And, we now knew what was causing the problems.  Here it is nearly a month later and I still have no craving for pizza nor anything else high in sodium, which is the nutritional value of most convenience food out there these days.  You have to check everything, even frozen vegetables. 

I did not let this episode go as far before asking my husband to call 9-1-1.  I was scared of waiting too long.  The squad came and they put me on the cart in our living room.  I wanted to write about this sooner and now I see why I had not.  The thought of this entire ordeal still haunts me.  Even though I know, now, how God saved me I think this is important enough to share.

Smoking is just awful.  If I had that wish that I could do it over again I would’ve never started.  The fact is that I was 11 when I first held a cigarette thinking it was cool.  At that time in 1971 I did not inhale.  I am wondering if that person that I I’ve found again in life on Facebook had any idea what she was doing when she taught me how to inhale at 14, in 1974?  I would doubt it.  Her mother also smoked more than a chimney.  My dad was a smoker.  In 1974 it was rarely thought of that this was a disgusting, dirty, stinky habit yet that it was hazardous to your health.  So, it kept going…smoking in my parent’s house at 16 and more than 2 packs a day by my 20’s along with the marijuana smoking for years.  I managed to quit smoking the marijuana in my late 20’s along with doing all of the other drugs except for those cigarettes.  They ended up being the hardest thing to quit.  BUT I did it.  It wasn’t easy and I now wish I’d have done it much sooner but I’m so thankful that I did.  If you’d like to know how I went about it after 33 years check out this post:  

How I Quit Smoking

By the time the rescue squad got me to the hospital this time (less than 10 min. from us) I was much worse.  Even though they had asked me if I’d been previously intubated (only under sedation in surgery) they had not been willing to go there.  This time my breathing had been so labored for so long and it was not changing.  I remember telling them that I couldn’t keep it up.  I was getting so tired!  The next thing I remember was opening my eyes, I was breathing on a machine and my husband was holding my hand and looking at me.  I TALKED TO JESUS.  I have no idea what I would’ve done at this point if I did not know in my heart that He was there, otherwise I would’ve just been alone behind the machine.  Yet He was there with me.  I spoke to Him, asking Him to take care of my husband.  I couldn’t imagine being him.  And, I asked Jesus to take me home.  This is the worst that I think I have ever felt.  But Jesus told me that my husband still needed me.

The following morning I awoke, still intubated, but breathing room air.  I was immediately told that they were seeing if I could breath on my own and I had to be awake for a couple of hours and breathing like that and they would extubate me.  Jesus sat on the chair in my ICU room.  He told me that it was going to be OK.

Two days later I was moved out to a telemetry bed.  This was more of a step-down unit.  I was still being monitored but I no longer had to have the attention of Intensive Care.  I was still on oxygen with a Foley Catheter and they were draining the water off of my lungs and entire body.  I was admitted for Congestive Heart Failure yet no heart attack at this time.

I had been taken to Northside Hospital which was less than 10 minutes from us.   I was surprised at the difference from Morton Plant.  Yes, there were many nice people at Morton Plant but I did not receive the quality of care and attention that the employees at Northside gave me.  I was even surprised by the doctors who treated me as an individual, giving me so much individual attention.  Questions that I’d had for even years were answered within the time that I was there.  I would be there for another week but was released with a new Cardiologist, Dr. Peter Wassmer   There were so many employees there that I felt went above and beyond the call that I shared a list with the charge nurse and I want to share some names here (written on scrap paper with colored pencil):

Respiratory: Chris, Gary, And Sarah.

Nurses/CNAs/Techs: Kevin, Sharron, Erin, Maggie, Gina, Becky, Scott, Taylor, Jenn, Christina, Lori, and Colten.

OT:  Heather.

Lab:  Shea.

And others that I failed to get the names written down for.

And, as always, I know that things happen for a reason.

*Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”

And,

*James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”

I learned a major lesson this time.  For one, the song that had been going through my mind for all of 3 weeks meant that I was supposed to take notice to the words.  God has spoken many times in this way to me.

And, I knew that God was telling me that I needed to surrender even more than I did.  Always let go of it all.  And a lightbulb went off.  If it all was surrendered to Him, I didn’t have to like what was happening BUT He would take care of it all anyway.  I’d released it to Him. 

It took me a good 10 days after returning home to see that I was mad that I was still here.  I am that assured that heaven will be magnificent beyond my wildest dreams that I am ready to go there whenever He wants to take me.  BUT all it took was admitting that and I started to feel better.  I was swimming just after that and only 2 weeks from going on a cruise for our 27^th wedding anniversary. 

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

Apologies - Please be watching for a new post soon

Time flies.  I was in shock noticing how long it has been since I last posted.  Soon...possibly even later today I will get one out to you!

The Goodness of God Leads to Repentance

*Romans 2:4”Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?” 

I was inspired by a devotional this morning, to share what I am sharing today.  I’m sorry it is taking me so long to get a post out but my health has been poor this year.  I’m sure if I was stronger that I would post more since it is not from a lack of ideas.  I am on 3 days of recuperation from a Cardiac Catheter and just home from the hospital yesterday so writing is a good way to occupy my time.

Back to my share.  Since I  became a moderator of several groups a few months ago I have had the pleasure of reading many, many Christian posts.  So many are so good BUT I have seen one thing that has concerned me.  Much negativity and condemnation amongst the family of God.  Some shared about the consequences of sin is good, yet with many non-believers, they are already hammering on themselves for being “imperfect”.  I know, I was there.  Many, due to the abuse in their past, see a fiery God raining His anger down on them.  Many, as I did, think that they could never live up to it all.  Many are truly in doubt of His Mercy, Grace, and Love for them in the midst of their truly horrific lives!  We should be sharing more about this online than condemnation.  I want to share my inspiration this morning.  It is from Dear Jesus  by Sarah Young (she is the author of the popular Jesus Calling).

And with this, I’d love to share my testimony to Celebrate Recovery (Christian 12-step) too. One of the main things that so many of us share about these groups is how accepted we feel.  I can go to a CR group and know that absolutely NO-ONE there judges me!  We need to great non-believers with this love so that we may reflect Jesus!  How else will many of them know who He is?

Bible Journaling PLUS Retrospect MY BIBLE

This morning I was thinking about how precious my Bible has been to me. The first one that I put to very good use is like the saying

“A Bible that’s falling apart usually belongs to someone who isn’t.― Charles Haddon Spurgeon

I remember sitting on my bed in prison, Bible in my arms. I was being moved to a different, lower security prison and I had to put all of my belongs into a paper bag. My Bible was the last to go and it was so hard. We had very few possessions in there yet my Bible, my most prized possession.

Then, I was looking over my Journaling Bible and thinking of how I love to embellish things. My favorite things are those that I have “improved Upon” in my own way, which I am very much doing with my Journaling Bible. It makes it special, uniquely mine! No one else has one like mine! It is now very special to me, similarly to this Bible in prison where I learned to know the Lord so intimately. Now, I am into a different season. I am learning, growing & healing once again!

At this time I am working on a cover design of my own.

God never ceases to amaze me. He makes my life worth living. He makes my life more interesting!

AND with this, I'd like to thank some people by sharing links to their websites and/or pages who have been so very inspirational to me in my Bible Journaling/Art! Please check them out further!

Valerie Weiners

Rebekah R Jones

Valerie Sjodin

Tracie Rollins

And, as always...worshiping!

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

Be Good to One Another

This scripture just keeps coming to mind:

*Hebrews 13:2  "Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels."

This is a very thought provoking video:

I am still on 'Cloud 9' and thanking the Lord for this day and it really wasn't that far from being a normal day, BUT, to explain...

I got up this morning feeling better physically than I have for a long, long time. I had energy. I even took a muscle relaxer before bed and normally I would be sleeping on the dining room table but I wasn't. It was early, the 6 am that I'd been shooting for to start getting up at and I was awake. No coffee before my longer trip to the Physical Therapist but I was still awake. Hallelujah! For the last 16 years, I do not remember a whole lot of these days.

I went to the Physical Therapist and was able to say that I had very little pain. Another major HALLELUJAH for me since my life has been more painful this year than in many others. 

(Although, I once again, learned something during our Sunday morning church service. I'd seen it before BUT as most of us know, we need to keep reading the Bible over and over BECAUSE it is God's Living Word!

*1 Corinthians 9:22 "to the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some."

I believe that God showed me several years ago that He let so much illness happen in my life because I know where to run. I know to go to Him and very often I've found that peace that passes understanding. I've found freedom from much pain. I've found my "hiding place" in Him! And, He is empowering me to share all of this with others! I have been in a long learning process and it is not always easy, yet tolerable with Him!)

There is an even longer explanation for how this art piece of mine came about but I will share it due to it being appropriate right now.  I hope you are able to read my inspired poem.:

Back to my story. Even though I had to drive into St. Pete to go to therapy, I found out it was on 4th Street and all I had to do was to hear that and I knew that Trader Joe's was on 4th Street. This is one of my favorite places to go due to all of their gorgeous yet inexpensive flowers among other things.  

PT was over and I headed for Trader Joe's.  I have to ride in an electric cart due to so many floors feeling so hard due to the metal in my back.  It took me several years of arriving at the check out in tears to give in to using them.  Now I know that I must sit and wait if one is not available.  

Now, you tell me why I experience so much more kindness in some of the stores in Florida than ever before in my life?  I have actually felt downcast in one of those electric carts.  'Am I in it because I'm so fat?' and other thoughts ran through my mind.  

This day I stopped for a sample of the Cold Brew coffee and Almond Milk.  Yummy!  As I was drinking it I conversed with the worker in the corner who was extremely pleasant.  I picked out gorgeous and inexpensive flowers. along with salads, plums, etc... and headed for the check out.   This gorgeous and appealing man checked me out and was so very sweet.  As I left the store and headed for my car, I felt tears well up.  I had no idea that I needed that kindness so much that I was in tears.  Then a gentleman came up to me and asked if he could put my cart back and tried to help with my grocery bag. If he was a worker there, he had no tag on.  He was also very pleasant and conversed with me a bit.

That was my inspiration for writing this post today.  We don't know what people are going through and I am as guilty as the next person for running through life and not paying attention to the needs of others.  Even a smile instead of a look of disgust can make or break a person's day.  In this world anymore we seem to be moving so fast in our lives and getting so cynical.  Me, too!  Yet, how can we make this world a better place?  Can't we learn to love as Jesus did/does?  So many of us thinking, "why me?"...but in the full scope of things can't we all see that there are others out there having an even worse day?  Won't it make our days better if we learn to smile at one another?  I have the ALL POWERFUL CREATOR GOD, living within me so why can't I show it?

And, I drove home listening to my worship music and thinking that I have heaven to look forward to BUT...

*Revelation 20:10 "The devil, who deceived them, was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone where the beast and the false prophet are. And they will be tormented day and night forever and ever."

And, I came home to this most appropriate song:

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

Bible Journaling - Is it for you?

A friend just told me that “the Lord is most certainly moving in your heart to spread the good news!” And I replied “My life...been doing this for some time.  God is awesome and I want everyone to know it!  Rooftops!”

I just don’t know how to stop?  I love encouraging people!  

I have just recently been noticing how much more patiently I am waiting in doctor’s offices than I used to.  This, to me, is amazing.  I was so happy when I got an iPhone because it is the first one that I’ve learned to play on and it helped me to be patient waiting in places.  Yet I still did face some issues with impatience at times.  Today, a timer went off at the chiropractors office to signal the return of the technician and I just closed my eyes again, relaxing.  That is new for me!  Ah, God is working!  He is always working on me!  I am forever being blessed by Him.  And, I believe that this new found patience can actually be attributed to my newer found practice of Bible Journaling and the hours that it temps me away to spend with Jesus.

Do you need a good stress reliever?  Do you just want to find out more about it? Then check out Tracie Rollins at BibleJournalingMinistries.com  

https://www.biblejournalingministries.com/bible-journaling-classes/  You can just investigate!  Is this for you?  Do you know someone who might benefit from this?  And, if you are on Facebook you can find a whole community of Bible Journaling people in the Bible Journaling for Beginners group.

I have my Journaling Bible that I do more extensive Journaling in.  Then I have my “Inspire Psalms” book that I do basically coloring in (for when I don’t have the time or space for a mess).  See examples below:

Inspire Psalms Book

Inside Inspire Psalms colored by me

Inside Inspire Psalms colored by me

Inside Inspire Psalms colored by me

.

My Journaling Bible embellished by me

My Journaling Bible embellished by me.

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

In Retrospect - OH How He BLESSES Me SO

I just had to shout since I was feeling so very blessed this morning and nearly every morning, too.  And don’t think that I have always been in a nice apartment in a partially gated community.  NO WAY! 

I was just sharing with my hubby about one of my first places.  It was on East Kibby Street in Lima, Ohio.  I think I was 20 years old so it would’ve been 1980.  I think we paid $105. per month.  This was 2 rooms plus a bathroom with no yard at all.  It sat about a foot from the sidewalk.  There was a small living room and a bedroom/kitchen combined.  The bathroom was a toilet and sink (no shower or tub).  We sat on the drain board of the sink (one of those old white porcelain ones) and used the sprayer to take a bath.  My mom found me another place to live after my live-in boyfriend (Keith) beat me up and went to jail. 

I remembered waiting to move with my boxes open under the fluorescent light the lined the ceiling to keep the cock roaches from getting into them.  I had nightmares due to the rats scratching in the walls (someone saw one outside their entrance and it was the size of a cat). 

There is more to share about this time in my life.  This part of my life in my memories are nightmares that I truly would not even want to think about if Jesus had not set me free from such bondage as my old memories so that the sting is now gone.  Hallelujah!

This first part I must share due to the psychological/emotional significance that Jesus later showed me.  Keith was drunk and I may have been too or at least high on some other substance to include possibly even inhalants.  He started beating on me and we ended up in the bathroom with me behind the toilet (in this little space that I could never fit in now).  He was kicking me in the head with his steel-toed boots.  When I got free I ran about 2 blocks away, found a phone, and called the police.  The police took him away even though I stupidly did not want him to leave me alone in that place at the time. 

I was asked if there were any witnesses when he went to court.  I asked the upstairs neighbors who had been home at the time and they told me that they did not want to get involved.  This is when I decided that I wasn’t worth it.  I was in the midst of a life of ruin and this just added to it.  Even though I’d grown up in church and was saved in 1973 (yet no one told me where to go from there), I was a total people pleaser.  I was an acceptance addict besides being addicted to any intoxicant I could get my hands on.  I let these neighbors, these sad drunken neighbors, tell me that I was not worth it (in their own words).  And, I did not leave Keith for 2 more years of brutal beatings and absolute nightmares. 

This is just one example of the kind of memories that Jesus healed me from.  To be honest, as a person with a heart, they do still make me shutter but I’d think they would make anyone shutter. 

In these 37 years, Jesus has brought me a long, long way.  I lived another 8 years in similar squalor before I finally fell, giving Jesus my life.

I hope to get another book finished and published that will be called “A Mosaic of Me”.  I intend on always sharing more about the goodness of God and how He delivered me from years upon years of messes.  If you or someone you know can be helped by this, please leave a comment below.  I have started this book 2-3 times and need to get back to it and finish it.  Comments will encourage me to do so.  Please follow my blog, too.  If you’d rather follow by e-mail there is a place for that, also.  Please see my links below.  God bless you and may you find even more peace than I have through Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior! 

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

This is the blog background and just a few of my artwork pieces!  If you like them, please check out my links below!  Thanks much!

It is a RELATIONSHIP

I had a bad night, one of my worst. I researched it, it was a Trapezius Muscle Spasm. This was the 2nd and lasted for 6 grueling hours. I had used tiger balm on my neck prior to bed. I slept about an hour before it started so I tossed and turned and prayed and prayed. Finally I could stand no more so I got up about 3 hours after it started to research it on the internet. I found to put ice on it and go back to bed. I finally got back to sleep yet I awoke soaking wet, the bed soaking wet, my pillow soaking wet…what now? Joe was sound asleep and needed to work later today so I just let him sleep (hoping he wouldn’t roll over on the wet). I pulled my pillow off and got up. It was now about 8:45 and I needed to let Cardiac Rehab know that I wouldn’t be making it. Not on 2 hours of sleep!

YET, I got up and was surprisingly wide awake??? I was talking to the Lord – praying as I do most mornings! I did not feel like going back to bed and after another hour or so I actually decided that I didn’t need to and got some coffee.

Bible Journaling kept coming to mind. The previous Sunday I believe that God showed me through a song in church that I was supposed to do a search in the Bible on Strength and Trust using my “His Strength”  Journal (now with pink touches! 

and my Journaling Bible. This kept coming to mind, plus the color pink. As I went on sharing with a friend in Facebook Messenger in the quiet of the morning more things came to mind and I realized that God was wanting to teach me more about Female Strength as I also had more pictures to use come to mind. I was feeling wonderful! Pain Free! High on the Magnificent, Comforting Presence of the Holy Spirit. His Peace filled our dining room as I poured through all of my Bible Journaling supplies for the pink things that I needed…as He spoke to me…

This is one of the main reasons that a relationship with Him is important! Not every thing we think is right, is. I thought I had to go to Cardiac Rehab this morning BUT He had a different plan!

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAYERS & JUST BEING THERE!

Wanting to thank you all for your prayers whenever I holler.  It is so comforting to know that I have so many awesome friends/family that will come to my aid at a moments notice.  And, I know you all know that I am a firm believer in the power of prayer!  I also want to let you know that I am still quite positive about this whole thing and all of the physical issues that I’ve been going through.  After 16 years of being handicapped with all of the issues that I’ve been through, as I am improving, I think I’d be upset if my body didn’t react....LOL!  I am getting better and Satan can’t lie to me and tell me that this is all a negative thing!  What Satan means for evil, God means for good!  I just covet your prayers during this whole process, if you don’t mind?!  

I walked into Celebrate Recovery on Monday night, after missing Cardiac Rehab due to hours of back pain, little sleep, and fighting traffic, etc... and the worship leader mentioned the fact that we should be worried if Satan isn’t attacking! 

AND, some of you know that I’ve been in belief that God has called me to Celebrate Recovery and mostly to jail/prison ministry.  I have been looking and questioning for some time and do ya know?  This is the first church that I tried to go to for CR after our move here and I could not even see the church (another Satan thing - GPS issues) and I just found out yesterday that they do CR jail ministry!  Hallelujah!  I’m already corresponding with the minister in charge.  Fighting our way through the battlefield just makes us stronger...Satan is a lying fool!

Email share:  “Juliana, Praise the LORD!!! What an amazing testimony.  You have gone through so much, and your trust in the Lord has kept persevering no matter what!!! Please call me so we can talk about the jail ministry...”

HALLELUJAH!

“I can do ALL THINGS through Christ Who strengthens me.”  Phil. 4:13

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”  Romans 8:28

I'M IN TRANSITION

I apologize for not writing for some time.  It seems that my life is mid-transition right now.  God is moving me into a new season.  I have the inspiration to write but then no time for writing.  It is 4:30 am and I am having trouble sleeping right now so I guess writing may help me to get back to sleep?  I hope it doesn’t make me have trouble writing as a Benadryl starts to kick in.  I am learning to use a CPAP due to trouble breathing in my sleep.  Something that you see as bad can be good instead.  I can be bullheaded and I simply call it, “stuck in stupid”.  It’s when I get an idea that I won’t let go of, even if it is not of God.  BUT, I keep praying.  God ALWAYS helps me with this at some point.  There’s a song that I love called Break Me Down by the band Red.  I believe it also helped me to quit smoking.  It’s how I’ve learned to “give up”.  It’s telling God that I don’t understand why I won’t let it go but I do still want to.  “Lord, break me down, then”.  Teach me how to do it.  “Do what you have to, Lord.”  And, that is most of the time not pleasant but it works!

I started doing the work that I planned for “Branding” my different inspirations.  You see the difference here, although I’m not yet sure about the colors it’s coming along.  Please check for my new page on Facebook for this blog (https://www.facebook.com/BeyondtoBetterThings/).  I may use it to keep followers updated regarding it, instead of always doing it in a post.  It has the save Cover photo as the background of this blog.  My art page also has the same cover photo.  And, so do my business cards.  Everything is under the same heading of Something by Juliana with a different sub-title (at least that is what I’m aiming for).

I wrote that about a month ago and since then I feel nearly like a new person.  I’ve learned to use the CPAP religiously…even when I nap!  And I am feeling so much better.  Not long after that I started on a new medication for Fibromyalgia.  Yes, I finally gave in 16 years after being told that I was a prime candidate for it.  And, I started Cardiac Rehab.  All three of these things PLUS many prayers have nearly totally changed my life from just a month ago.  Honestly!  Until you do have your own relationship with Jesus, don’t put it past Him.  He knows what we need before we even ask.

I also prayed to be in His Word more since I knew that He was speaking to me in different ways that I needed to fill myself up with Him in every way that I could find.  I had felt quite lousy for some time now…since the whole heart attack thing.  Actually, I’d feel awesome, heavenly bound, Spirit-filled to overflowing for a day or two, then be right back down where I was.  I sought prayers from everywhere I could think of.  I was so tired of the roller coaster and I knew that something had to give.  This was not the way that I was supposed to live!  That is when He showed me that I needed to fill myself up with all of Him that I could so that Satan had no room to get in!  Hallelujah!  So, how did I go about that?  So, I kept praying!  Being an ex-work-a-holic I wondered how to do so much without overdoing?  Prayer!!!  Always prayer!  Always leaning on that relationship with Jesus.  There is no other way!

  

(By the way, I have had so many years in the past where even breakfast was non-existent and today I’m having Keurig coffee with flavored creamer, fresh homemade 1% yogurt with fresh pineapple, Truvia Nectar, and granola along with a Mandarin orange, Black plum, and Rambutans.  Along with sitting at my dining room table on an iPad Pro amongst not only 1 but 2 bouquets of fresh flowers and I could go on and on about the differences in my life! – I am truly blessed.)

Back to my answered prayers!  OH MY!  I was asked to be the moderator of several LARGE Christian groups/pages where I read so many posts; devotionals, scripture, photos, etc… on and off most days all day long.

I had been interested in Bible Journaling for some time.  Got myself a Journaling Bible a good year ago yet never did much with it at all.  Cardiac Rehabilitation (prayers answered to do it, too) is done at a hospital in Clearwater so I have about a 25 minute drive through much retail, etc… and I’ve almost always used coupons when passing by places to pick up art supplies.  Just seemed practical.  So, I have been collecting Bible Journaling supplies.  Then I joined Bible Journaling groups on Facebook and WOW.  I have never had group conversations about Bibles before in my life.  My heart leaped!  And here I am writing!  God is moving!  And, I do not remember my last “down” day.  I’m improving so quickly that I know it is nothing less than a miracle!  And it seems that I will share more about Bible Journaling in a later post, maybe even get some new friends to participate?  That might be fun!  I’m working on this page to share with you today, though!

I will be posting as I improve in leaps and bounds.  I believe I’ve shared in the past about my spine and how I had 10 hours of spine surgery in 1995.  I was not supposed to be down sick in bed for 2+ years and since I started the rehab my back and left hip are in need of more specialized attention so I am having X-rays this week to be referred to a spine specialist.  This is actually what I’ve prayed about for about a year yet the heart thing jumped out there and took precedence.  So, waiting to see what happens here.  I’m sure that more miracles are in store for me.  HALLELUJAH!

Have a blessed week.  And I will leave you with a new favorite of mine:

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

PARDON MY DUST - Prayers Appreciated

For months now I've been working on updating this blog, the whole look of it, along with the rest that I do.  I've been praying about it and changing things a bit but it just wasn't right.  I've been reading some, too.  FaithfulBloggers.com is a great place to learn more about blogging and I've found some interesting and informative reads there.  I believe I have a plan started yet praying for God's wisdom/knowledge about some aspects.  So, please bare with me and send up a prayer or two if you will?   

Meanwhile I have also started Cardiac Rehabilitation at the hospital and I'm improving in leaps and bounds!  Hallelujah!  Will be back with bells on soon!

WORSHIP

I must first apologize for not posting. It has not been a conscious thing. Actually, I just visited this blog the other day and I saw that my last post was in January and I was shocked. Having a heart attack is a very different thing than I have ever experienced. It has taken me some time to get back to who I previously was. I’m not even sure how to explain it, just please be patient with me. I am still here and I think I’m at least quite close to being back even with a third Cardiac Catheter next week (prayers are appreciated) and Cardiac Rehabilitation to go through.

(I had an amazing miracle there. God is so good. Most would truly POO-POO a hospital visit for chest pains. I was admitted and what a mess when I went in but I won’t even go there. I was hoping to Cardiac Rehabilitation after the stent placement but my insurance wanted $90. Co-pay per week for 36 weeks…rather ridiculous. My Cardiologist was not the least bit happy about it. Another Cardiologist from the same group visited me in the hospital who said he had looked over my file and was hoping to get me a scholarship to the Cardiac Rehabilitation. I was in disbelief and shock for several days. I shared this with my Cardiologist on Tuesday and he is calling them to get my co-pay waived. HALLELUJAH!

*Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”)

Worship is in my heart. I had to write about this because I don’t think there is much that brings me more joy. Since our move 3/18/16, I have had to use the GPS in our car when I’m driving and to listen to it I’ve had to keep the music turned down. What a truly SAD thing for me!

From the dictionary as a verb:
to render religious reverence and homage to.

2. to feel an adoring reverence or regard for (any person or thing).

I have heard some say that they believe that this will be our most important function in heaven so we should learn to do it now. If that is the case then I am well prepared.

I have several things to share that may help you to understand my heart. For more than a week now, the song that has played in the back of my head daily, all day is Overwhelmed by Big Daddy Weave. 

Rather an ultimate worship song. Usually when I have a song play over and over in my head I find some reason for it in the lyrics. It’ll play until I find it. With this song I seem to find nothing more than this is the reason for so many of my tears of joy. When I pay attention to this song, His presence is apparent in my home and His joy explodes in my heart! There are many worship songs that express how I feel yet none so “overwhelming”.

So, after this explanation you may be able to see why I’m so elated when I share that I’m finally learning my way around. Just a few days ago I found that I was able to drive some distance without GPS so I cranked up my worship music and it nearly transported me to heaven.

I am a Pentecostal. I looked up the definitions to share but none are as effective as just sharing the why and an example of what this truly means to me. Several years back the minister of music at our church gave us an explanation that I will never forget. He shared about coming home to his house and his three-year-old son excitedly running to him with outstretched arms. It's like I’m taking Him in. I’m wanting to enwrap Him with my arms. Like the words to that song “Overwhelmed”. Yet I have seen one video that has always truly impressed upon me that this was being “Pentecostal”. And that is the video for Forever by Kari Jobe. I am excited about what Jesus did for me. It says in Psalms

*Let All Things Praise the Lord

150 Praise the Lord!

Praise God in His sanctuary;

Praise Him in His mighty firmament!

Praise Him for His mighty acts;

Praise Him according to His excellent greatness!

Praise Him with the sound of the trumpet;

Praise Him with the lute and harp!

Praise Him with the timbrel and dance;

Praise Him with stringed instruments and flutes!

Praise Him with loud cymbals;

Praise Him with clashing cymbals!

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord!

And, another that I memorized when I was a little girl and I’ve remembered to this day:

*Psalm 100 

Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands.

Serve the Lord with gladness: come before his presence with singing.

Know ye that the Lord he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.

For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.

AND, if I can even write this after having a heart attack, I’m on my way back! God is so good. I have full assurance that if I was to die that I would be instantly transported to heaven where I would spend eternity. While still on this earth, worship is the next best thing.

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

I HAVE TO BELIEVE

I ALWAYS love this song no matter how old it gets in the mind, it still rings true in the heart!

*Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”

I don’t know how else to be. After the 28 years since I finally fell, I know no other way but to run to Him! My past is was so sorted and scary that I am so thankful that He has given me this in my heart, that I know nothing else to do but to run to Him.

This whole heart thing started out with a trip to Pennsylvania to see my step-son (son in our eyes) get married and I ended up in the hospital with a diagnosis of Congestive Heart Failure. And my mouth fell to my chest!


I had not had anything close to this in my life. Even though I smoked for 33 years (quitting in 2007), I had been a swimmer my entire life and I swam better under water than on top. The last I knew I could hold my breath for 2 ½ pool lengths. And here I was with Congestive Heart Failure that included such awful Shortness of Breath. And my life changed drastically!

*Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.”

I ran to Him. The days continued when we got home with more attacks. Sleeping with a large foam wedge to keep me sitting way up at night while sleeping since otherwise I would end up wheezing and go into heart failure. And, finally a Cardiologist who ordered more testing to end up finding out that I’d had a heart attack. I’d had a heart attack? This was definitely not something that I expected to hear!

And I saw a photo posted on Facebook that struck a chord with me, this time:



Praying is all that I’ve known to do. I’d lie in bed and just talk to Him, telling Him all my thoughts. I was so bewildered. How did this happen? Why did this happen? Why did He let this happen?

And now I had to have a Cardiac Catheter (which had frightened me since working at the hospital in the 1990’s). And with the upcoming holidays this had to wait and I had to be maintained with God and their medicine?

And, life goes on. Two days before Christmas my husband came home with a fever higher than 102. He ended up having Cellulitis in his left leg. This is blood poisoning and if not treated, deadly. I sat watching Christmas movies for days by myself. We did finally have a couple of hours of Christmas time on Christmas night where we got to open presents but he still was not eating yet. All plans cancelled with family.

We did finally get together with family the night before my Cardiac Catheter was scheduled.

*Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.”

My husband’s last trip to the Emergency Room was on the night that I had Cardiac PCI surgery.

We need to back up a bit to the day of my Cardiac Catheter. I went through the procedure with numerous prayers coming from all over. They only sedate you for this procedure. They don’t put you all the way out. I have learned to pray as much as possible even to the point of thinking “Thank You Lord. Praise You Lord. Thank You Lord. Praise You Lord.” Continuously through the procedure when my mind is too occupied by the sedative. In no time it was over with yet I was immediately told that my heart was a mess with many blockages plus a part was either dead or sleeping with no assurance that it will awaken until blood flow is restored. I was told that I needed open heart surgery and I was given an appointment to see a Cardiac surgeon more than 2 weeks later. (How bad did you have to be to get more immediate attention? Sounded pretty bad to me.) and I was sent home.

I went home to “take it easy” without knowing for sure exactly what that was. But, I was tired so I relaxed on the bed even napping before my hubby got off work. Going to sleep later was a different story. I’d slept maybe an hour when I awoke abruptly with shortness of breath that would not let up so I went to the couch then soon I was calling 911. I was taken to the heart hospital by rescue squad that I’d been to hours earlier for the Cardiac Catheter. It wasn’t long before they’d found that I had fluid filled lungs (more than likely from a weakened heart and lungs) and it was thought that I should see the surgeon sooner to get the ball rolling for surgery. This was on a Tuesday. They shared reasons why they felt I was not eligible for open heart surgery and why stenting (PCI – multiple stent surgery) was more probable. (Hallelujah).

Numerous tests were then ordered to determine my physical situation to withstand surgery.

Finally, the PCI was scheduled for Friday. I woke up that morning, looked on the white board in my room that lists my nurse, patient tech, objectives for the day, etc… and I saw:
   
   
I had to laugh yet I knew that this was a God thing. In AA in Ohio they had a saying that ‘coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous’. I love things like this and He knows it!

Before long, I was in the Cath Lab, the procedure was done and aside from a few muscle spasms in my right arm that were all totally part of me, it went off without a hitch. I ended up being in the hospital until the following day when I was discharged.

The most significant thing I posted to Facebook after getting home?

“I must be honest! I am scared! Prayers please! I just prayed with Joe telling Him that I know that He knows what we need! In the past I had trust issues yet I always trusted Him to clear up those issues! That is how I feel today! I am an altered me! But I know He will teach me how to get through this! And, healing for my right wrist that is still aching from the procedure!

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

I am moody. I have trouble looking at all the housework around me that I can’t fully do. I’m recuperating and awaiting a cardiologist appointment next week but all of this is in God’s hands.

UPDATE:  I've had 2 doctor's appointments since the stents were placed.  My breathing has already improved and has been confirmed by these doctors.  I am in the process of waiting to have my Cardiac Rehabilitation approved by my insurance.  I am feeling stronger almost daily!  All thanks and praise to Him who ONLY deserves it!  Hallelujah!

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!