HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE

I know I haven’t written in my blog in what seems like forever.  I was much too sick for a time to do much more than pray and work at staying alive.  I have been in the hospital 3 times this year and now I finally believe that things are looking up.  Even though I’m hooked up to an IV 24x7. I am coming back.  No more Life Vest which I wore for 3 months that was supposed to shock me if I was knocked out by cardiac arrest or arrhythmia.  How am I so calm about everything?  Because of Jesus!  What’s the worst that could happen?  If I died tomorrow I’d wake up with Jesus!  I have no doubt!  So, I will focus on the task at hand…THANKSGIVING!

A few days ago I was drawn to looking through my various Bibles and devotionals.  I saw this “Jesus Calling” devotional subtitled “Living a Life of Worship” by Sarah Young and thought to leaf through it. To my pleasant surprise that was a section entitled “A Life of Thankfulness” which fit right in!  I decided to journal this along with working on this chapter.  I also used it to try out different pens, my own cursive writing, some lettering, etc…

  

The first page was I journaled with different Gelatos for the background just using the rubbing in method with my fingers and then used a brush with a little water to paint around the dove along with various cut-outs and stickers from the ByTheWell4God - From Above Journaling Kit .

I am including several pages here that I hope you will also read along with seeing my journaling.  I know that lettering was a focus for this Holy Week but I am not really into trying to do someone else’s lettering but I am more inclined to figuring out my own style.  I actually have a sketch book especially for this and my favorite so far is not available right now.

This final page I journaled using a stencil with Gelatos and colored pencils for the leaves with colored pencils for the trunk.  The background was done with Gelatos written on a baby wipe and rubbed around in soft swirls.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!

I want to acknowledge some amazing people who go above and beyond the call from when I was admitted at Largo Medical Center .  Dr. Worth, Dr. McCoy and the many other doctors, interns, felows, medical students who so readily attended to my care.  The amazing nursing staff in ICU, CSU, and the 2nd floor.  Techs: Molly, Vu, Alex, & Alexandria...and so many other people who I haven't named here.  You have made my 3 hospital visits this year much more tolerable!  

ay God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Up-tweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

He Told Me to Pray - Inspiration

And, here I am up writing again.  Just love the peace in the early morning hours.  Sun not up yet and it appears that no one else is awake in the building.  The last couple of days have been too busy to get this all down both with Bible Journaling and with my husband since it was the weekend.  I find myself sharing more and more about God's strength through so many health issues.  I guess maybe that is why they are happening.  He did show me several years back that a major reason why so much happens in my life is because I will run to Him.  I know where to go.  Where someone else doesn’t.  Others who don’t know Him have no clue who to run to.  We hear many people who know Him contemplating why many who don’t, don’t have as many problems.  Yet life is not about all of these things.  Life is meant to Glorify God and prepare us for a heavenly eternity with Him, not to have an awesome play time on earth!  Yet, prayer is where it’s at.  A relationship with Jesus is where it’s at!  And He is so much better than anything on this earth!

  

Encaustic Mixed Media Art - "My Momma's Home with digital artwork.

 I am also still working on the second part of the Bible Journaling that goes along with this blog post.  I am doing more of my own art now, or adding to their art also.  I just keep seeing it in my mind’s eye and I have this “fearlessness” bubbling up within me.  I have to do more.  It is what is fulfilling me right now.  Yet prior to Saturday morning the inspiration in my heart was at a rare low and I felt numb and unsettled.

To share more of what God has been showing me about my physical issues right now.  (By the way, this morning my hands are feeling relatively good so that I am able to type, which is the way my life seems to go.) When my limitations keep me from something it is usually because I am not supposed to do it.  I had already made a decision to not drive up to an outlet mall on Saturday morning and so very thankful that I did.  I awoke in the most pain that I think I have ever had when not in bed with a morphine pump.    After only three hours of sleep and my hands were curled half way into a fist.  I could barely straighten them or do much more than to sit in my dining room chair and push buttons with my thumb and/or holler to our Echo, “Alexa play Christian Rock Music”.  This song was playing in my mind,  Oh My Soul by Casting Crowns again.  It is the song that played on our Echo the night of that first day when my hands started to fail on my iPad keyboard and I truly had a meltdown.  Please see past posts relating to this.  Since I have purchased it and listened to it many times.  The echo played it again.

  

So profound and I don’t think that if God were audibly speaking to me that it would be any more recognizeable to me as Him.  Not long after I ran into this Bible Journaling video on 1 Samuel 1:15 and He continued to speak and I have been pouring my heart out to Him since and awesomely inspired to my Bible Journaling.

1 Samuel 1:15 Bible Journaling video Inspiration  Done by Monica on her channel Because Jesus Bible Journaling which I love and keep watching previous videos.

And I have done some Bible Journaling of my own.

My Holman NKJV Single Column Journaling Bible.

My Inspire Praise Journaling Bible.

I saw both of these in my mind's eye.  This is how I receive my art inspiration most of the time. The fingernails are done like my own.  Of course not great yet but practice helps.  What was really awesome is when I awoke from a dream where I saw an art piece and ran out to my desk to write it down so I wouldn't forget.  My step-son was spending the night at the time.  He awoke to tell me exactly what I saw before I wrote it down.  Just too cool!

ay God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Up-tweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

OH MY SOUL

Here it is Sunday morning and my husband woke me up with breakfast.  So very sweet of him but I stayed up for a couple of hours after he went to bed.   I groggily “smiled” and got up.  (God always has a reason for my needing to get up early.  He has proved it to me again and again.  Even though so out of it in my own mind, I seem to tune into Him much more easily at this time of day.  I have written most of these blog posts in the wee hours of the morning.)

I did not need my husband to open the blinds to know that it was raining outside, I could hear it.  It’s been raining all week almost every day all day and now we are expecting a tropical storm today.  Just truly typical tropical weather for this time of year, but it can get depressing.  I have a friend who it has been affecting extraordinarily so and when we came home from the grocery last night it struck me to send an uplifting song to her so I looked one up and was sharing it with my husband this morning:

As I was looking for it, another song came to mind that helped me in my last dip of depression… this depression spell was a doozy!  It was, though, as if God, Himself was speaking to me. 

That day was one of my worst in some time.  My hands are having major problems right now.  I’d had trigger finger for some time in my right hand, which is debilitating to say the least but I’d had a stroke when I was 40 (now 57) with some effects to my left hand but “FAITH” kept me going like it was nearly normal.  This day I was “seeing” my left hand shaking terribly when I was typing and I had trouble hitting some of the keys.  I’ve been typing for 45+ years and playing piano for even longer. (The stroke slowed me down when I typed 120 words per minute as a Radiological Transcriptionist).  OH, WAS I EVER SHAKEN!  I was mad!  I called my hand doctor for an appointment but the office lady explained over and over to me how my family doctor had to know about my left hand issues before I made the appointment and I went off.  I had a “melt down”.  I even hung up on the lady, which is totally unlike me today yet it was how I would’ve reacted just after the stroke.  I was in tears.  I was more mad than I’d been in I don’t know how long.  BUT I cried out for prayer.  I go to God!  As much of my artwork depicts, “I RUN TO HIM”:

I was still mad.  I sought out doing housework while listening to worship music to get my mind off of it but this did not help, it used my hands!  BUT, “Oh My Soul” started to play and I heard “One more day, He will make a way.” And it caught my attention so I listened more. 

Oh My Soul

Casting Crowns

Oh, my soul
Oh, how you worry
Oh, how you're weary, from fearing you lost control
This was the one thing, you didn't see coming
And no one would blame you, though
If you cried in private
If you tried to hide it away, so no one knows
No one will see, if you stop believing

Oh, my soul
You are not alone
There's a place where fear has to face the God you know
One more day, He will make a way
Let Him show you how, you can lay this down
'Cause you're not alone

Here and now
You can be honest
I won't try to promise that someday it all works out
'Cause this is the valley
And even now, He is breathing on your dry bones
And there will be dancing
There will be beauty where beauty was ash and stone
This much I know

Oh, my soul
You are not alone
There's a place where fear has to face the God you know
One more day, He will make a way
Let Him show you how, you can lay this down

I'm not strong enough, I can't take anymore
(You can lay it down, you can lay it down)
And my shipwrecked faith will never get me to shore
(You can lay it down, you can lay it down)
Can He find me here
Can He keep me from going under

Oh, my soul
You're not alone
There's a place where fear has to face the God you know
One more day, He will make a way
Let Him show you how, you can lay this down
'Cause you're not alone
Oh, my soul, you're not alone

Songwriters: JOHN MARK HALL, BERNIE HERMS

My heart melted once again.  He knows me so well.  Music speaks to me.  He speaks to me so often through music.  And here it is a good 2 months later and it is in His hands still!

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days! 

MERCY

I’m working on my first Bible Journaling since our return from Pennsylvania.  We went to visit our son (my step-son) and won’t go again until we are sure that winter is over.  Our trip started out cold but tolerable until when were were closer to leaving then things fell apart – nearly everything!  I got sick, my husband got sick, the weather turned to us being delayed in flying home due to us running from a major storm to get out of there.  Our son was in a car accident – not hurt yet car probably totaled.  We came home to a messy house, I was so exhausted, still feeling ill.  My hubby having to have a tooth pulled on top of still fighting the pink eye.  I was in a lousy mood, not wanting to talk to anyone.  

My brother called, read me scripture and prayed for me (one of the very nicest things of growing up with a big brother who’s a minister (now retired)).  

With all the mess in our home I could not even seem to wrap any part of my head around Bible Journaling even though I knew it would help me to feel better!  I actually just started leafing through my Journaling Bible looking for inspiration.

And my eyes were diverted to

*Hebrews 13:5b “…I will never fail you, I will never abandon you.”

And I was reminded of that period back in 2013 that I always wanted to share about.  I had vertigo.  I don’t know how many of you have had it but if you have, you know what I’m talking about when I share that it is one of the most awful symptoms there is.  It is also very similar to the “Brain Nausea” that I had when on the Decadron for the brain lesions that I incurred from the CNS Vasculitis.  I was so mad at God for letting this happen again that I said all kinds of things to Him that I would have never said in my right mind.  After this I felt foolish for saying such things, begging His forgiveness.  And yet all the while I was mad and spewing I kept hearing “And, I still love you.”… “And, I’m still here.”…and I won’t leave you.”  This is where I truly learned this, deep within my heart and it changed me somewhat.  I learned of His deep love for me like never before.

He was reminding me of this now.  And my heart softened at His MERCY!

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days! 

In Retrospect - OH How He BLESSES Me SO

I just had to shout since I was feeling so very blessed this morning and nearly every morning, too.  And don’t think that I have always been in a nice apartment in a partially gated community.  NO WAY! 

I was just sharing with my hubby about one of my first places.  It was on East Kibby Street in Lima, Ohio.  I think I was 20 years old so it would’ve been 1980.  I think we paid $105. per month.  This was 2 rooms plus a bathroom with no yard at all.  It sat about a foot from the sidewalk.  There was a small living room and a bedroom/kitchen combined.  The bathroom was a toilet and sink (no shower or tub).  We sat on the drain board of the sink (one of those old white porcelain ones) and used the sprayer to take a bath.  My mom found me another place to live after my live-in boyfriend (Keith) beat me up and went to jail. 

I remembered waiting to move with my boxes open under the fluorescent light the lined the ceiling to keep the cock roaches from getting into them.  I had nightmares due to the rats scratching in the walls (someone saw one outside their entrance and it was the size of a cat). 

There is more to share about this time in my life.  This part of my life in my memories are nightmares that I truly would not even want to think about if Jesus had not set me free from such bondage as my old memories so that the sting is now gone.  Hallelujah!

This first part I must share due to the psychological/emotional significance that Jesus later showed me.  Keith was drunk and I may have been too or at least high on some other substance to include possibly even inhalants.  He started beating on me and we ended up in the bathroom with me behind the toilet (in this little space that I could never fit in now).  He was kicking me in the head with his steel-toed boots.  When I got free I ran about 2 blocks away, found a phone, and called the police.  The police took him away even though I stupidly did not want him to leave me alone in that place at the time. 

I was asked if there were any witnesses when he went to court.  I asked the upstairs neighbors who had been home at the time and they told me that they did not want to get involved.  This is when I decided that I wasn’t worth it.  I was in the midst of a life of ruin and this just added to it.  Even though I’d grown up in church and was saved in 1973 (yet no one told me where to go from there), I was a total people pleaser.  I was an acceptance addict besides being addicted to any intoxicant I could get my hands on.  I let these neighbors, these sad drunken neighbors, tell me that I was not worth it (in their own words).  And, I did not leave Keith for 2 more years of brutal beatings and absolute nightmares. 

This is just one example of the kind of memories that Jesus healed me from.  To be honest, as a person with a heart, they do still make me shutter but I’d think they would make anyone shutter. 

In these 37 years, Jesus has brought me a long, long way.  I lived another 8 years in similar squalor before I finally fell, giving Jesus my life.

I hope to get another book finished and published that will be called “A Mosaic of Me”.  I intend on always sharing more about the goodness of God and how He delivered me from years upon years of messes.  If you or someone you know can be helped by this, please leave a comment below.  I have started this book 2-3 times and need to get back to it and finish it.  Comments will encourage me to do so.  Please follow my blog, too.  If you’d rather follow by e-mail there is a place for that, also.  Please see my links below.  God bless you and may you find even more peace than I have through Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior! 

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

This is the blog background and just a few of my artwork pieces!  If you like them, please check out my links below!  Thanks much!

WORSHIP

I must first apologize for not posting. It has not been a conscious thing. Actually, I just visited this blog the other day and I saw that my last post was in January and I was shocked. Having a heart attack is a very different thing than I have ever experienced. It has taken me some time to get back to who I previously was. I’m not even sure how to explain it, just please be patient with me. I am still here and I think I’m at least quite close to being back even with a third Cardiac Catheter next week (prayers are appreciated) and Cardiac Rehabilitation to go through.

(I had an amazing miracle there. God is so good. Most would truly POO-POO a hospital visit for chest pains. I was admitted and what a mess when I went in but I won’t even go there. I was hoping to Cardiac Rehabilitation after the stent placement but my insurance wanted $90. Co-pay per week for 36 weeks…rather ridiculous. My Cardiologist was not the least bit happy about it. Another Cardiologist from the same group visited me in the hospital who said he had looked over my file and was hoping to get me a scholarship to the Cardiac Rehabilitation. I was in disbelief and shock for several days. I shared this with my Cardiologist on Tuesday and he is calling them to get my co-pay waived. HALLELUJAH!

*Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”)

Worship is in my heart. I had to write about this because I don’t think there is much that brings me more joy. Since our move 3/18/16, I have had to use the GPS in our car when I’m driving and to listen to it I’ve had to keep the music turned down. What a truly SAD thing for me!

From the dictionary as a verb:
to render religious reverence and homage to.

2. to feel an adoring reverence or regard for (any person or thing).

I have heard some say that they believe that this will be our most important function in heaven so we should learn to do it now. If that is the case then I am well prepared.

I have several things to share that may help you to understand my heart. For more than a week now, the song that has played in the back of my head daily, all day is Overwhelmed by Big Daddy Weave. 

Rather an ultimate worship song. Usually when I have a song play over and over in my head I find some reason for it in the lyrics. It’ll play until I find it. With this song I seem to find nothing more than this is the reason for so many of my tears of joy. When I pay attention to this song, His presence is apparent in my home and His joy explodes in my heart! There are many worship songs that express how I feel yet none so “overwhelming”.

So, after this explanation you may be able to see why I’m so elated when I share that I’m finally learning my way around. Just a few days ago I found that I was able to drive some distance without GPS so I cranked up my worship music and it nearly transported me to heaven.

I am a Pentecostal. I looked up the definitions to share but none are as effective as just sharing the why and an example of what this truly means to me. Several years back the minister of music at our church gave us an explanation that I will never forget. He shared about coming home to his house and his three-year-old son excitedly running to him with outstretched arms. It's like I’m taking Him in. I’m wanting to enwrap Him with my arms. Like the words to that song “Overwhelmed”. Yet I have seen one video that has always truly impressed upon me that this was being “Pentecostal”. And that is the video for Forever by Kari Jobe. I am excited about what Jesus did for me. It says in Psalms

*Let All Things Praise the Lord

150 Praise the Lord!

Praise God in His sanctuary;

Praise Him in His mighty firmament!

Praise Him for His mighty acts;

Praise Him according to His excellent greatness!

Praise Him with the sound of the trumpet;

Praise Him with the lute and harp!

Praise Him with the timbrel and dance;

Praise Him with stringed instruments and flutes!

Praise Him with loud cymbals;

Praise Him with clashing cymbals!

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord!

And, another that I memorized when I was a little girl and I’ve remembered to this day:

*Psalm 100 

Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands.

Serve the Lord with gladness: come before his presence with singing.

Know ye that the Lord he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.

For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.

AND, if I can even write this after having a heart attack, I’m on my way back! God is so good. I have full assurance that if I was to die that I would be instantly transported to heaven where I would spend eternity. While still on this earth, worship is the next best thing.

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

FEELING ALONE IN YOUR FAITH?

This is one that I can truly share from experience.  I went from first spending hours upon hours alone in a prison cell to spending hours upon hours in a sick bed, then on to still spending days, nights and then some alone in our apartment while my husband was working.  

First and foremost, God says that He will not leave nor forsake us in His word.

*Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”"

And, my favorite which are said by Jesus, Himself: 

*John 14:25-27 “I’m telling you these things while I’m still living with you. The Friend, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send at my request, will make everything plain to you. He will remind you of all the things I have told you. I’m leaving you well and whole. That’s my parting gift to you. Peace. I don’t leave you the way you’re used to being left—feeling abandoned, bereft. So don’t be upset. Don’t be distraught." (The Message)

And, this morning I was sharing this Christian concert with someone and I realized how it made me feel and I believe God was urging me to share it with you.  In watching this, Winter Jam from a few years back came to mind.  We had quite a few of us together at it but that was nothing as compared to the other 22,000 people (mostly youth) that were there.  I still get encouraged thinking about it.  It was one of the most marvelous experiences of my life.  Worship has never been the same to me.  And watching this video this morning along with the song's words I was just in awe.  I wasn't awake but a few minutes when I had tears of joy running!  Think you're alone in this Christian walk?  Or, even think you're amongst just a few?  Need some encouragement?  Need some enlightenment?  And just think, this concert is but one of Many!  So, quit feeling alone and get up and do something about it!  Share Jesus with all you can!  And if you still feel alone, pray!  Tell Him about it!   Here it is:  Passion - Even So Come (Live) ft. Kristian Stanfill (Make sure to click down in the right corner of this video to view it full screen!)

                              

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

MY TESTIMONY - UPDATE for 5/2/16 PRESENTATION to CELEBRATE RECOVERY

Hello. I'm sorry! Somehow it did not cross my mind that I had not posted here
in so very long until I looked at this blog yesterday and noticed the date. Please forgive me!

We are off on our second cruise soon and I have been packing for it and slowly finishing up the unpacking and some planting as I am working on situating the terraces. I do not yet have my computer fully set up or my studio. It's been a long haul this time but I believe we are much happier and comfortable for it. It has been quite freeing! I hope to find a few photos to share! I will try to keep up with things a bit better as time goes on.



And on with my testimony:

Dear Heavenly Papa,

We come here tonight to meet with You, all in one accord. Father, open all of our hearts to understand the love that you have for us. Love on us all Lord to the point that we will never, ever want to turn back! Let Your words through me reflect that love to bring healing and wash away their pain. Only You can heal, Lord. Let me be Your vessel. Bring us all to a closer, life sustaining knowledge of You! If there is anyone here who has not yet come to the knowledge of your saving grace, speak to their hearts, Lord! In Jesus’ most powerful and precious name, Amen

I am Juliana, a grateful believer in Jesus Christ. At this time, I have victory over drugs, cigarettes, depression, co-dependency, and on down through the layers. I entered into this past 27+ years having had victory over drugs with even more chains to follow.

God has let me “Be still, and know that He is God!” several times over. Some may see most of my previous years as negative yet I’ve come to see the ones after I finally let Him have me as gifts that brought about tremendous changes, helping many of those chains to just fall off.

Although set free for 27+ years now I did not find Celebrate Recovery until 2013 which did much more than just accelerate my growth. I found a group of believers searching themselves and seeking to know God more right along with me. I began listening to each and every member along with boxes of family photos that has helped to spark many long, lost memories and I am truly grateful for all of them.

2015 was my first year depression-free (Hallelujah!) since I was a young child. So you all probably know that when I again share that I’ve had a history of a 16-month prison stint, 4 car totals, 5 suicide attempts, years of many abuses along with seeing much more than any one person should ever have to see within dysfunctional friends, family, and loved ones around me, I’m supposing that you can pretty much fill in most of the blanks yourselves!

No father was listed on my original birth certificate. I was adopted at 18 days old into a family with 2 brothers who were 11 and 15 years older than me. We lived in Ohio. I was raised in the church. My parents were involved in the healing ministry back in the early 60’s. I now have come to believe that Satan attacked my whole family in the later 60’s with my oldest brother having a nervous breakdown in 1969 and my dad starting to drink in 1970 when I was 10 and that is where my story begins.

Did no one want to be my dad? I recently came to realize that in my childish psyche I thought I would gain my dad’s acceptance by drinking also, so I started drinking when I was 10. It wasn’t long after that the “party” started; marijuana by 11, cigarettes by 14, LSD by 15 and many other drugs, numerous kinds of abuse, and the rest, etc… Yet in the midst of all of this I was still made to go to church every Sunday and ended up being saved at 13. Yet no one ever showed me where to go from there and by the age of 28, in 1988 I was arrested for selling LSD. After being saved for 15 years, not knowing where to go, I finally fell! My “partner in crime’s” mother read the Bible to me over the phone one morning when I was so distraught that I could not continue and it was just a few days before I was watching church on a Sunday morning and I felt His presence in my entire apartment. I let Him have me that day. In less than 6 months I was sentenced to 16 months in prison. By this time, it no longer felt like a harsh treatment but an escape from 18 long years of feeling as if I lived most of my days in hell. I finally yearned to know more about Jesus and I knew that I had plenty of time to do it.

I started with reading the New Testament as I adjusted to prison life and wondering what I still had ahead of me. As I sat on my tiny bed one of those first days, I heard in a loud “audible” voice “You are a blessing to Me, My child.” I had no doubt that it was God. I cried! I cried for a couple of days. I was a blessing to Him? I felt like Scum and yet I was a blessing to Him?

The first major thing that I learned after entering prison was that God was my Father; my TRUE Father. And He made a truly heart-felt covenant of His peace with me:

John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” This became my favorite verse to this day because I had not known peace until I found Him.

And, He showed me that my dad was just a man and only Jesus is perfect. Through those 16 months of near weekly visitations, God healed my relationship with my Dad. We went from being near enemies for 18 long years to being like “AA buddies”. I don’t remember more than 1 tiny argument between then and 2001 when my “Daddy” went home to be with the Lord.

I went on to learning so many things that I would be thankful for many times over. Through these many experiences and my own fear of being alone, the Holy Spirit became my closest companion and still is to this day. After my surrender to Him, He started peeling off the layers. Before I ever went to AA, OA, or even Celebrate Recovery I was being led through the steps. I shared with my partner in crime by letter. We confessed so many things to one another, praying for each other and sharing in all that God taught us. (Curiously today he is a Celebrate Recovery leader in New Mexico)

James 5:16a “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each
other so that you may be healed.”

I was married in 1990 just 9 months after my release from prison and we celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary in 2015. I spent almost the whole of the 90’s working in a hospital, we got custody of my step-son in 1999 when he was 13, and I was looking to go back to school to become a Paramedic when I became ill.

I spent 2001-2003 in bed with a rare illness that started with a stroke at just 40 years old. I had 7 type-written pages of symptoms and side effects from the illness and numerous medications. I relearned how to brush my teeth and I had an IQ similarly to that of Forrest Gump. Yet I learned to know Him. He didn’t let me die, He let me live. He kept me alive through what was known to be a terminal disease at that time and still is. I changed once again. It so seems as though I have been washed and renewed several times over. I let Him use me! I became His clay to mold. Still fully infatuated by my God who called me His blessing.

Now, with such an extensive history I have prayed numerous times about the best way to share all of this yet the words never came. Of course, I haven’t wanted this to be all about me, but more about His ALL SUFFICIENT GRACE. August of 2015, was the first time that I mentioned about wanting to give my testimony at Celebrate Recovery and through a worship song in the meeting, Good, Good Father it all started coming to me.

This next writing turned out to be a bit different. Through all of His sculpting I turned out to be an artist and published author (please see the things that I brought to share). I do my art and writing by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, so one late night when I had no clue how to get my writing time in, I prayed for the Holy Spirit to wake me up with His words if I was to write. And so, there I sat at my computer at 2am when these words came to mind:

We hear that alcoholism is a disease but what about the rest of it? All the rest that Celebrate Recovery involves are the same, “diseases”, diseases of the heart! Could we ever think that we are fully cured? Not until we are in Heaven with Him! Yet He makes us able to withstand this world and all its mess through which we must rise above to be givers instead of takers, lovers instead of haters, fighters on our knees not with our fists. New creations in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”):

Poem Title: Good Bye Old Self - 2 Corinthians 5:17

We depart in peace
Knowing God is with us
Feeling His Presence
Every step of the way
Knowing that it is
By His grace
We are free
…..written by me from prison in 1989.

By His grace we are free! By His goodness we have been won to repentance! Not by condemnation as so many have seemed to think.

Romans 2:4 “Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?”

I was so buried within the lies of Satan, who dragged me through the mud that I thought I was worthless and people, even those claiming to love me, pushed me down even further. Yet through a man named Rick Warren, God shed His mercy upon us, the sinners that He came to save through His Son, Jesus Christ. So that we may not end up locked away, wallowing in our own dung. Jesus is here to become our King. Only by learning to seek Him in the midst of my pain have I learned that His grace is what I cling to. I seek Him to remain alive. His miracles have abound. I have had much healing. And I have become thankful in the midst.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 “in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

I have seen numerous hardships through infirmities, yet I came through them more like a shiny new penny, the TRUE me within my heart. Rising above them all, only by Him! He has been my hiding place. And as I see so many others who have denied Him that still yearn for happiness, I have found joy in surrendering my heart to Him.

In these 12+ years since I got out of bed I’ve learned to find myself more than ever before. Through my own devices I, once again, was running ahead of God, then stopped in my tracks to learn to “Be still and know”. I spent numerous hours, days, and years alone with Him, learning to know more of who He is. And once again, I was found.

Since 2015 I have come out from the shadows of healing and learning, once again. I have had numerous healings in this past 14 years; Too many to count. Even though I did not come out unscathed and have some notable deficits. My previous pastor gave a sermon one Sunday.

2 Corinthians 12:9 “And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

Later that day I wrote to my pastor and told him: “Great sermon today! My life! I woke up hurting and grumbling this morning but I was worshipping and praying on the way to church as I just persevered and believed! I felt like I could fly when I got there!”







April 27, 2016 Update:

Upon scheduling this date tonight, I believed that I needed to give
some kind of update. At that time I saw myself getting closer to being out and experiencing life a bit more. I hadn’t known exactly what to write so I’d been praying. So much has happened since then. God has shown even more unexpected goodness than I’d ever imagined and I knew that others needed to know.

Then my husband and I sat talking just a few days ago as we were looking at some photos of our next cruise ship we have booked in June and I just started crying. I tried to talk but I was too overwhelmed for words. And I knew that I was going to have to share my thoughts at that moment. I had just one cruise on my bucket list for nearly my entire life and here I was looking at our 2nd coming up already in just days. I hadn’t even gotten over the shock and awe from the blessings He had given us since the last cruise. It is all just too long to share about yet I will tell you that my husband ended up winning a trip to the Bahamas over Christmas last year.


Me on Christmas Day - Atlantis in Nassau, Bahamas

We flew out just 10 days after coming home from the cruise that we’d booked to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. We were swimming with the dolphins on Christmas Day. It was not hard to see that only God could have been in all of this.

After that was the whole orchestration of our move north to Pinellas Park. We’ve moved into a city where I know no one. God is telling me that I’m getting a do over. The past is finally behind me. I’ve thrown out or given away numerous trunk loads. I no longer need so much from my past seemingly sentimental life. Why did I want to keep the things of so many past memories? And no one even knows me in this city. I am able to be who God wants me to be without Satan having so much fuel to remind me of my past. I’m free and open to learning more new things and onward into a new season with Him.

Philippians 3:13-14 “Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

James 4:8a “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. “

Ultimately that is what the 12 steps and 8 principles are about, Drawing closer to Him. By drawing closer to Him, He draws closer to us and we have this all knowing, all-encompassing creator of the universe as our King AND best friend!

Truly the best comment I have received in my very short history of speaking. I just had to share...thankfully she gave me her permission.

"Juliana, rarely do we get to hear from someone who has such intimacy with Jesus. You are such an encouragement to not only those in recovery but to all whose path you cross! Keep sharing when God opens a door, and I have a feeling there will be many doors!" Carol Lewis - CR Leader, Bayside West Bradenton, Florida

(AND HERE I AM IN TEARS AGAIN WHILE TRYING TO GET THIS POSTED. I want to make sure that you know that I would never consider God as a vending machine. My husband and I never specifically asked for any of this or for any blessings for that matter! He just gives to us as a Father who loves His children.)

A few more photos:












May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

If I’d Made a Different Decision?

I recently went to a Writer’s Workshop. This workshop was at Christian Retreat where I live. They did an exercise on opening night in the last 15 minutes that I thought was rather interesting. We had to write about a decision that we’d made and how things might be different had we made a different decision. Mine wasn’t picked as one of the best or maybe they thought it was too personal (as they shared some were) but I liked what I wrote anyway and thought I would share it with you.

“If I hadn’t sold the LSD that got me arrested? God would have had to teach me so many lessons in so many different ways than He taught me through that decision. It would have taken me so much longer to open up to Him, to fall, to let Him have me, to realize He was waiting, reaching into the pit with his outstretched hand. Then I would not have sat and listened to Him, fallen in love with Him and yearned to show others the way out of the pit and into His arms.”

A long time coming testimony - Given for Celebrate Recovery 1/14/2016

There will not be a whole lot of comments from me with this due to me just being in shock and awe at the reaction that I was given when I (feeling like a major klutz) gave this at http://mybayside.church/meet-pastor-david-murphy/ where the Celebrate Recovery is held that I attend. I will add some additional comments and links at the end of this.  At some time this is supposed to be put on the internet.  I will add the link if I ever do find it.

Dear Heavenly Papa,

We come here tonight to meet with You, all in one accord. I pray that the testimony that I am about to share speaks to our mutual love for one another and of the grace that you have shown us. Father, open all of our hearts to understand the love that you have for us. Love on us all Lord to the point that we will never, ever want to turn back! Bring us all to a closer, more sustainable knowledge of You! Until the day that You take us to our home, our true home to live with You forever and ever! In Jesus’ most powerful name, Amen

I am Juliana, a grateful believer in Jesus Christ. At this time I have victory over drugs, cigarettes, depression, co-dependency and on down through the layers. I entered into this past 27+ years having had victory over alcohol and drugs with even more chains to follow. God has let me “Be still, and know that He is God!” several times over. Some may see most of my past years as negative but I’ve come to see the ones after I finally let Him have me as gifts that brought about tremendous changes, helping many of those chains to just fall off.

Although sober for 27+ years now I did not find Celebrate Recovery until 2013 which did much more than just accelerate my growth. I found a group of believers searching themselves and seeking to know God more right along with me. I began listening to each and every member along with boxes of family photos that has helped to spark many long, lost memories and I am truly grateful for all of them.

2015 was my first year depression-free (Hallelujah!) since I was a young child. So you all probably know that when I again share that I’ve had a history of a 16 month prison stint, 4 car totals, 5 suicide attempts, years of many abuses along with seeing much more than any one person should ever have to see within dysfunctional friends, family, and loved ones around me, I’m supposing that you can pretty much fill in most of the blanks yourselves!

No father was listed on my original birth certificate. I was adopted at 18 days old into a family with 2 brothers who were 11 and 15 years older than me. We lived in Ohio. I was raised in the church. My parents were involved in the healing ministry back in the early 60’s. I now have come to believe that Satan attacked my whole family in the later 60’s with my oldest brother having a nervous breakdown in 1969 and my dad starting to drink in 1970 when I was 10- and that is where my story begins.

Did no one want to be my dad? I recently came to realize that in my childish psyche I thought I would gain my dad’s acceptance by drinking also, so I started drinking when I was 10. It wasn’t long after that the “party” started; marijuana by 11, cigarettes by 14, LSD by 15 and many other drugs, many numerous kinds of abuse, and the rest, etc… Yet in the midst of all of this I was still made to go to church every Sunday and ended up being saved at 13.

Then in 1988 I was arrested for selling LSD. This, after being saved for 15 years but running around not knowing where to go, I finally fell! My “partner in crime’s” mother read the Bible to me over the phone one morning when I was so distraught that I could not continue and it was just a few days before I was watching church on a Sunday morning and I felt His presence in my entire apartment. (I admitted that I was powerless and that my life had become unmanageable – (Step 1) – I was powerless) I let Him have me that day. In less than 6 months I was sentenced to 16 months in prison. By this time it no longer felt like a harsh treatment but an escape from 18 long years of feeling as if I lived most of my days in hell. I finally yearned to know more about Jesus and I knew that I had plenty of time to do it. (I knew that a higher power (only Jesus) could restore me to sanity. (Step 2.) I started with reading the New Testament as I adjusted to prison life and then wondered what I still had ahead of me. As I sat on my tiny bed one of those first days, I heard in a loud “audible” voice “You are a blessing to Me, My child.” I had no doubt that it was God. I cried! I cried for a couple of days. I was a blessing to Him? I felt like Scum and yet I was a blessing to Him? The first major thing that I learned after entering prison was that God was my Father; my TRUE Father.

And He made a truly heart-felt covenant of His peace with me:

*John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

This became my favorite verse to this day because I had not known peace until I found Him.

And, He showed me that my dad was just a man and only Jesus is perfect. Through those 16 months of near weekly visitations, God healed my relationship with my Dad. (amends? Step 9). We went from being near enemies for 18 long years to being like “AA buddies”. I don’t remember more than 1 tiny argument between then and 2001 when my “Daddy” went home to be with the Lord.


I went on to learning so many things that I would be thankful for many times over. Through these many experiences and my own fear of being alone, the Holy Spirit became my closest companion and still is to this day. After my surrender to Him, He started peeling off the layers. Before I ever went to AA, OA, or even Celebrate Recovery I was being led through the steps. I shared with my partner in crime by letter. We confessed so many things to one another, praying for each other and sharing in all that God taught us. (more amends. Step 9 (Curiously today he is a Celebrate Recovery leader in New Mexico)


*James 5:16a “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other
so that you may be healed.”

I was married in 1990 and we celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary in 2015. I spent almost the whole of the 90’s working in a hospital, we got custody of my step-son in 1999 when he was 13, and I was looking to go back to school to become a Paramedic when I became ill.

I spent 2001-2003 in bed with a rare illness that started with a stroke at just 40 years old. I had 7 type-written pages of symptoms and side effects from the illness and numerous medications. I relearned how to brush my teeth and I had an IQ similarly to that of Forrest Gump. Yet I learned to know Him. He didn’t let me die, He let me live. He kept me alive through what was known to be a terminal disease at that time and still is. I changed once again. It so seems as though I have been washed and renewed several times over. I let Him use me! I became His clay to mold. Still fully infatuated by my God who called me His blessing.

Now, with such an extensive history I have prayed numerous times about the best way to share all of this yet the words never came. Of course, I haven’t wanted this to be all about me, but more about His ALL SUFFICIENT GRACE. August of 2015, was the first time that I mentioned about wanting to give my testimony here and through a worship song Good, Good Father it all started coming to me. (Step 12 having had a spiritual awakening- carrying the message to others).

This next writing turned out to be a bit different. Through all of His sculpting I turned out to be an artist and published author (please see the things that I brought to share). I do my art and writing by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, so one night recently, when I had no clue how to get my writing time in for this testimony since it was already after midnight, I prayed for the Holy Spirit to wake me up with His words if I was to write. And so, there I sat at my computer at 2am when these words came to mind:

We hear that alcoholism is a disease but what about the rest of it? All the rest that Celebrate Recovery involves are the same, “diseases”, diseases of the heart! Could we ever think that we are fully cured? Not until we are in Heaven with Him! Yet He makes us able to withstand this world and all its mess through which we must rise to be givers instead of takers, lovers instead of haters, fighters on our knees not with our fists. New creations in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”):

Good Bye Old Self - 2 Corinthians 5:17 

We depart in peace

Knowing God is with us

Feeling His Presence

Every step of the way

Knowing that it is

By His grace

We are free

…..written by me from prison in 1989.

By His grace we are free! By His goodness we have been won to repentance! Not by condemnation as so many have seemed to think.

Romans 2:4 “Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?”

I was so buried within the lies of Satan who dragged me through the mud that I thought I was worthless and people, even those claiming to love me, pushed me down even further. Yet through a man named Rick Warren, God shed His mercy upon us, the sinners that He came to save through His Son, Jesus Christ. So that we may not end up locked away, wallowing in our own dung. Jesus is here to become our King. 

Only by learning to seek Him in the midst of my pain have I learned that His grace is what I cling to. I seek Him to remain alive. His miracles have abound. I have had much healing. And I have become thankful in the midst.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 “in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

I have seen numerous hardships through infirmities, yet I came through them more like a shiny new penny, the TRUE me within my heart. Rising above them all, only by Him! He has been my hiding place. And as I see so many others who have denied Him that still yearn for happiness, I have found joy in surrendering my heart to Him.

In these 12 years since I got out of bed I’ve learned to find myself more than ever before. Through my own devices I, once again, was running ahead of God, then stopped in my tracks to learn to “Be still and know”. I spent numerous hours, days, and weeks alone with Him, learning to know more of who He is. And once again I was found.

Since 2015 I have come out from the shadows of healing and learning, once again. I have had numerous healings in this past 15 years; Too many to count. Even though I did not come out unscathed and have some notable deficits. My pastor gave a sermon one very recent Sunday.

2 Corinthians 12:9 “And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

   Later that day I wrote to my pastor and told him:  “Great sermon today!  My life!  I woke up hurting and grumbling this morning but I was worshipping and praying on the way to church as I just persevered and believed!  I felt like I could fly when I got there!”

http://www.celebraterecovery.com/ 

The ONLY comments I seem to stay firm on are:

And, another worship song inspired by last night:

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!