He is making perfect sense out of a perfectly senseless, messed up life!

Showing posts with label Testimony. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Testimony. Show all posts

Thursday, July 7, 2016

I’VE GOTTA GIVE A TESTIMONY – PLUS PRAYER AGREEMENT PLEASE!

For a few weeks now, I have started having pains in the main top joint of my thumbs. It actually started with the right hand first. Making me have trouble with doing most movement, lifting, turning, etc.

I have done much work in my life, from transcription (Radiological), to other kinds of typing, to unloading semis, working in freezers, and well, you name it! I've been told that I have arthritis all over, back, shoulders, wrists, feet, and on and on. June, 2012 I went off of all wheat according to the Wheat Belly Diet. Within a few months 17 years of chronic back pain (10-hour spine surgery in 1995 with metal put in) was a good 90% gone and it continued until I have to have an x-Ray to even know there is metal in there. I am now not perfect with this diet (to be honest) but I do go for days without any wheat at all due to trial and error and still moving forward. I have had numerous accidents, bone breaks, surgeries, and on and on BUT I can take little medication for pain. Well, I have one mild one that I can take once in a great while (1, 30 pill prescription has lasted me as long as 1 1/2 years). Otherwise I only take ibuprophen. This could turn into a long, long story so I will skip onto more recently...

...recently I am able to get up on a slow moving morning, get my breakfast in me and then take my meds. Making it take me an hour or two to get any ibuprophen in my system. BUT, when I've had to get up and run, the pain has been so bad in my thumbs that you would not want to be around me. I can't take meds on an empty stomach at all and due to other deficits from the disability it takes me nearly 2 hours to get ready to just go to church. Sunday morning and then yesterday I had to be up for an appointment. Yesterday I talked to the Lord the entire time when I was getting ready. It hurt so bad that I didn't know what to do, call the doctor? I mean, to bend my thumbs at that joint felt closer to breaking them than them being useful. As the day went on the pain did get more tolerable yet this was with the ibuprophen.

Today? I got out of bed and did not even notice for the first few minutes that I had not noticed if the pain was there or not and when I did, I'd had no ibuprophen yet. There was little pain left and still is. Praise the Lord! Now I am believing yet praying about how to proceed? I am a writer (yet I take it in stride, normally writing, thinking, praying, researching, searching scriptures, etc. So it is quite different than the Radiological Transcription that I was trained for prior to becoming disabled in January, 2001). Please agree with me in prayer for His wisdom regarding how to proceed with this. Thanks and God bless you all!

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

Friday, January 15, 2016

A long time coming testimony - Given for Celebrate Recovery 1/14/2016


There will not be a whole lot of comments from me with this due to me just being in shock and awe at the reaction that I was given when I (feeling like a major klutz) gave this at http://mybayside.church/meet-pastor-david-murphy/ where the Celebrate Recovery is held that I attend. I will add some additional comments and links at the end of this.  At some time this is supposed to be put on the internet.  I will add the link if I ever do find it.


Dear Heavenly Papa,

We come here tonight to meet with You, all in one accord. I pray that the testimony that I am about to share speaks to our mutual love for one another and of the grace that you have shown us. Father, open all of our hearts to understand the love that you have for us. Love on us all Lord to the point that we will never, ever want to turn back! Bring us all to a closer, more sustainable knowledge of You! Until the day that You take us to our home, our true home to live with You forever and ever! In Jesus’ most powerful name, Amen

I am Juliana, a grateful believer in Jesus Christ. At this time I have victory over drugs, cigarettes, depression, co-dependency and on down through the layers. I entered into this past 27+ years having had victory over alcohol and drugs with even more chains to follow. God has let me “Be still, and know that He is God!” several times over. Some may see most of my past years as negative but I’ve come to see the ones after I finally let Him have me as gifts that brought about tremendous changes, helping many of those chains to just fall off.

Although sober for 27+ years now I did not find Celebrate Recovery until 2013 which did much more than just accelerate my growth. I found a group of believers searching themselves and seeking to know God more right along with me. I began listening to each and every member along with boxes of family photos that has helped to spark many long, lost memories and I am truly grateful for all of them.

2015 was my first year depression-free (Hallelujah!) since I was a young child. So you all probably know that when I again share that I’ve had a history of a 16 month prison stint, 4 car totals, 5 suicide attempts, years of many abuses along with seeing much more than any one person should ever have to see within dysfunctional friends, family, and loved ones around me, I’m supposing that you can pretty much fill in most of the blanks yourselves!

No father was listed on my original birth certificate. I was adopted at 18 days old into a family with 2 brothers who were 11 and 15 years older than me. We lived in Ohio. I was raised in the church. My parents were involved in the healing ministry back in the early 60’s. I now have come to believe that Satan attacked my whole family in the later 60’s with my oldest brother having a nervous breakdown in 1969 and my dad starting to drink in 1970 when I was 10- and that is where my story begins.

Did no one want to be my dad? I recently came to realize that in my childish psyche I thought I would gain my dad’s acceptance by drinking also, so I started drinking when I was 10. It wasn’t long after that the “party” started; marijuana by 11, cigarettes by 14, LSD by 15 and many other drugs, many numerous kinds of abuse, and the rest, etc… Yet in the midst of all of this I was still made to go to church every Sunday and ended up being saved at 13.

Then in 1988 I was arrested for selling LSD. This, after being saved for 15 years but running around not knowing where to go, I finally fell! My “partner in crime’s” mother read the Bible to me over the phone one morning when I was so distraught that I could not continue and it was just a few days before I was watching church on a Sunday morning and I felt His presence in my entire apartment. (I admitted that I was powerless and that my life had become unmanageable – (Step 1) – I was powerless) I let Him have me that day. In less than 6 months I was sentenced to 16 months in prison. By this time it no longer felt like a harsh treatment but an escape from 18 long years of feeling as if I lived most of my days in hell. I finally yearned to know more about Jesus and I knew that I had plenty of time to do it. (I knew that a higher power (only Jesus) could restore me to sanity. (Step 2.) I started with reading the New Testament as I adjusted to prison life and then wondered what I still had ahead of me. As I sat on my tiny bed one of those first days, I heard in a loud “audible” voice “You are a blessing to Me, My child.” I had no doubt that it was God. I cried! I cried for a couple of days. I was a blessing to Him? I felt like Scum and yet I was a blessing to Him? The first major thing that I learned after entering prison was that God was my Father; my TRUE Father.

And He made a truly heart-felt covenant of His peace with me:

*John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

This became my favorite verse to this day because I had not known peace until I found Him.

And, He showed me that my dad was just a man and only Jesus is perfect. Through those 16 months of near weekly visitations, God healed my relationship with my Dad. (amends? Step 9). We went from being near enemies for 18 long years to being like “AA buddies”. I don’t remember more than 1 tiny argument between then and 2001 when my “Daddy” went home to be with the Lord.


I went on to learning so many things that I would be thankful for many times over. Through these many experiences and my own fear of being alone, the Holy Spirit became my closest companion and still is to this day. After my surrender to Him, He started peeling off the layers. Before I ever went to AA, OA, or even Celebrate Recovery I was being led through the steps. I shared with my partner in crime by letter. We confessed so many things to one another, praying for each other and sharing in all that God taught us. (more amends. Step 9 (Curiously today he is a Celebrate Recovery leader in New Mexico)


*James 5:16a “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other
so that you may be healed.”

I was married in 1990 and we celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary in 2015. I spent almost the whole of the 90’s working in a hospital, we got custody of my step-son in 1999 when he was 13, and I was looking to go back to school to become a Paramedic when I became ill.

I spent 2001-2003 in bed with a rare illness that started with a stroke at just 40 years old. I had 7 type-written pages of symptoms and side effects from the illness and numerous medications. I relearned how to brush my teeth and I had an IQ similarly to that of Forrest Gump. Yet I learned to know Him. He didn’t let me die, He let me live. He kept me alive through what was known to be a terminal disease at that time and still is. I changed once again. It so seems as though I have been washed and renewed several times over. I let Him use me! I became His clay to mold. Still fully infatuated by my God who called me His blessing.

Now, with such an extensive history I have prayed numerous times about the best way to share all of this yet the words never came. Of course, I haven’t wanted this to be all about me, but more about His ALL SUFFICIENT GRACE. August of 2015, was the first time that I mentioned about wanting to give my testimony here and through a worship song Good, Good Father it all started coming to me. (Step 12 having had a spiritual awakening- carrying the message to others).

This next writing turned out to be a bit different. Through all of His sculpting I turned out to be an artist and published author (please see the things that I brought to share). I do my art and writing by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, so one night recently, when I had no clue how to get my writing time in for this testimony since it was already after midnight, I prayed for the Holy Spirit to wake me up with His words if I was to write. And so, there I sat at my computer at 2am when these words came to mind:

We hear that alcoholism is a disease but what about the rest of it? All the rest that Celebrate Recovery involves are the same, “diseases”, diseases of the heart! Could we ever think that we are fully cured? Not until we are in Heaven with Him! Yet He makes us able to withstand this world and all its mess through which we must rise to be givers instead of takers, lovers instead of haters, fighters on our knees not with our fists. New creations in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”):

Good Bye Old Self - 2 Corinthians 5:17 

We depart in peace
Knowing God is with us
Feeling His Presence
Every step of the way
Knowing that it is
By His grace
We are free
…..written by me from prison in 1989.

By His grace we are free! By His goodness we have been won to repentance! Not by condemnation as so many have seemed to think.

Romans 2:4 “Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?”

I was so buried within the lies of Satan who dragged me through the mud that I thought I was worthless and people, even those claiming to love me, pushed me down even further. Yet through a man named Rick Warren, God shed His mercy upon us, the sinners that He came to save through His Son, Jesus Christ. So that we may not end up locked away, wallowing in our own dung. Jesus is here to become our King. 

Only by learning to seek Him in the midst of my pain have I learned that His grace is what I cling to. I seek Him to remain alive. His miracles have abound. I have had much healing. And I have become thankful in the midst.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 “in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

I have seen numerous hardships through infirmities, yet I came through them more like a shiny new penny, the TRUE me within my heart. Rising above them all, only by Him! He has been my hiding place. And as I see so many others who have denied Him that still yearn for happiness, I have found joy in surrendering my heart to Him.

In these 12 years since I got out of bed I’ve learned to find myself more than ever before. Through my own devices I, once again, was running ahead of God, then stopped in my tracks to learn to “Be still and know”. I spent numerous hours, days, and weeks alone with Him, learning to know more of who He is. And once again I was found.

Since 2015 I have come out from the shadows of healing and learning, once again. I have had numerous healings in this past 15 years; Too many to count. Even though I did not come out unscathed and have some notable deficits. My pastor gave a sermon one very recent Sunday.


2 Corinthians 12:9 “And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”


   Later that day I wrote to my pastor and told him:  “Great sermon today!  My life!  I woke up hurting and grumbling this morning but I was worshipping and praying on the way to church as I just persevered and believed!  I felt like I could fly when I got there!”





The ONLY comments I seem to stay firm on are:

And, another worship song inspired by last night:

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

Saturday, July 4, 2015

REWARDS FOR BEING DILIGENT?


*Hebrews 11:6 "But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him."

I rededicated my life to the Lord in 1988, nearly 27 years ago. I am not telling you this because I think it is a short or a long time. For you or anyone else it might be 2 years or 37 but for me it has been nearly 27 years. I know I have never been perfect nor will I be until I am in heaven with my new, heavenly body within the presence of Jesus but I do know that that I have diligently sought Him. I was so done with that past life that I would not be here if it were not for Him. I did not want to look anywhere else. I prayed for Him to help to keep me from slipping; to help me keep from back sliding. Yes, there were many pleasures but there were far more detriments, painful events, heartbreaks, abuses, and I could make a list of the many negatives that remained a part of my life for 28 years but I do not long to go there. I did long to run to Him! I did not do as Lot did, I did not look back!

Even though my life has been a whole lot of work since, He has been with me helping me, guiding me all along! His way is perfect…far better than my way!

*Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”

This year we have felt notably blessed! We felt like we were living in a life of trials and hardships for literally years! And, I am not saying that to be ungrateful, just honest! Sickness has been my friend (not the best friend to have). And I have learned greatly. In those first few years after I rededicated my life to the Lord it was a huge dark cloud that I felt like I walked out from under, no, I usually reference it to Jesus pulling me out of the bottomless pit and watching so many of my friends keep falling (thankfully now, many of them know Jesus, too. Sadly it wasn’t long before 2 were claimed by suicide (including my closest girlfriend) along with others losing their lives and yet others are still falling yet now have brain damage and other maladies). I have so much to be thankful for that I LET JESUS pull me out when I did!

*James 1:2-8 “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”

So we are still counting it all joy that it’s been nearly 27 years since I was “falling”. Oh, the lessons we’ve learned, OH MY! BUT I NEVER EXPECTED THIS! (Remember? ‘He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.’) 2015 has been my best year for my mental state since I was at least in grade school, maybe earlier, and I’m 55. I have had no depression this year at all! I praise and thank Him with really no words to fully express how joyful this makes me! I live a life feeling like I’m walking in a dream most days! I believe He has promised me to have more peace. I started working on the journal mentioned in my last post the beginning of this year on HIS Strength and He has certainly given it over and over!

I was sharing with a friend who I hadn’t seen in some time about what God was doing in my life this year and I know His anointing just came over me because I started talking about something that was not even on my mind. I went back to memories from 1995 when I had a 10 hour spine surgery. When I was fully awake from it in my room (several days later) I looked down and saw finger shaped bruises all down my arms. I started crying, wondering what had happened to me (still under morphine). Then I vaguely remembered waking up in pain in the recovery room. I was told that I’d woken up before they had the morphine pump hooked up to me. I vaguely remembered waking up in pain, getting mad and raising up off the bed. I was always told that I was a fighter. Not mean yet a survivor! And while I was telling the lady this whole story I heard in that still small voice that it would be NO MORE. God said that it was over! No more fighting because of someone else putting me in pain!

It is finally over. And His peace is with me 24 X 7. Even to the point lately that I’ve woken up several times with a sweet presence of His Holy Spirit filling my bedroom to the point of it feeling even tangible as if I had been sleeping in clouds…with this sweet song playing in my head.


Now, I don’t think this means that I will never have any trials, pain, etc… ever again. I actually believe that this is a precursor to Him using me in the future yet He is now showing me where to find refuge!

*Psalm 17:8 “Keep me as the apple of Your eye;
Hide me under the shadow of Your wings,”

*Psalm 91:4 “He shall cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler”

*Psalm 61:4”I will abide in Your tabernacle forever; I will trust in the shelter of Your wings. Selah”

*Psalm 63:7”Because You have been my help, Therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice.”


*Psalm 57:1 “Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me!
For my soul trusts in You; And in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge, Until these calamities have passed by.”

AND, MY FAVORITE SCRIPTURE SINCE NOT LONG AFTER I REDEDICATED MY LIFE TO THE LORD, BECAUSE I KNEW NO PEACE UNTIL I FOUND HIM!

*John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

AND, EVEN BETTER IN THE MESSAGE VERSION:

*John 14:26-27 The Message (MSG) “I’m telling you these things while I’m still living with you. The Friend, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send at my request, will make everything plain to you. He will remind you of all the things I have told you. I’m leaving you well and whole. That’s my parting gift to you. Peace. I don’t leave you the way you’re used to being left—feeling abandoned, bereft. So don’t be upset. Don’t be distraught.”


Now, this does not mean that all of this will happen the same to you.  But, it does mean that He gives you whatever you need!

*Philippians 4:19 "And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus."

I continue to get stronger. I have given away most of my art supplies and will be specializing in Mixed Media Encaustics (I did keep a bit back for gifts, household repairs, etc...) With God’s help I am getting out more and getting more exercise. I’ve gone from almost always having to use an electric cart to actually walking a little on the blacktop, which I’ve only been able to do very little of for 14 years. Many new-to-me things are happening lately. I am spending hours upon hours alone with Him in study, relaxation, strengthening, and worship! I have enough faith for ‘one day at a time’! And I am watching and waiting for what He has next for me!

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

Monday, June 22, 2015

ONE SPECIAL CELEBRATE RECOVERY MEETING



I left home at 9am and now it was 3pm and I was just getting home to eat lunch. I’d believed all day that I was going to Celebrate Recovery at 7pm that night despite the fact that I had not run a day like this in literally years. I usually went with my BFF but she had told me that she wasn’t going to go to top things off. God’s strength was with me, Hallelujah! I relaxed for a little bit before heading to the kitchen to pack my hubby’s lunch. Still running, I got him on his way, changed my clothes, and started to head off to Celebrate Recovery but I heard 3 times to pick up my “His Strength – Strength” art journal without knowing why. 

My "His Strength" Journal

(I got a blue chip for this act. The first of the year I believe God showed me to give Him my strength and devote extra time to making this journal from scratch. I am now filling it with artwork, scripture, quotes, song lyrics, etc… that either speak of His strength or direct me to His strength. Not every single day but some days even more than once I am giving Him my strength in exchange for His strength.)

I got to Bayside Community Church where Celebrate Recovery is held just a few miles from our home where worship was ready to start. It seemed like a Friday night like any other and I went down to the front row and took a seat (just love to worship). In just a moment the leader came up on stage and announced that as soon as we recited the serenity prayer that Sheila Raye Charles was going to lead the rest of the meeting. My mouth dropped. The last time she addressed the CR that I attended locally I was unable to attend and quite disappointed. Here was God making a way for me!

I had my His Strength journal lying on my chair and quite shortly I heard Sheila quite exuberantly holler “Power”, talking about God’s Power above all other. This was the reason that I brought my Journal. She gave a powerful, life altering message regarding God’s word for her to share with others, forgiveness, redemption, and on and on for a good 1 ½ hours.
                         


As I looked around it certainly seemed that not a one person was untouched. God’s power had fallen through the presence of the Holy Spirit. I would be surprised if any ever forgot this night. As we all made it to the back I was definitely looking to speak to Sheila and tell her the story of why I was toting along my Journal. A lady stopped to ask me my thoughts on the night and to my surprise within about a minute, Sheila runs over to her, wraps her arms around her neck shouting “Mom”. To my surprise I had been talking with her mother. We naturally started talking so I showed her my journal and shared how I came about bringing it, her mouth fell open. I asked her to sign it, of course. (I will put this post with it in the my journal which is rough but it is not finished and is really only for me – my only attempt at making my own journal so still kind of fun, huh?)
 
Her Signature

I spoke with her for a few minutes after, which is again a true God thing. (Not long after our move to Florida in 2005 I was prayed for and delivered from a spirit of fear. I was horribly shy even to the point of only praying out loud in front of people enough times to count on one hand since I was a toddler. – God has now been teaching me how to walk without that fear. I do count it all gain since I do know so much of the time when it is truly not me and it is for sure, GOD!) I also shared with her my word from God that I know I am to share with others, James 4:8a “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” Sheila Raye Charles is quite down to earth and so comfortable to talk to. I felt like she and I could be girlfriends, sisters in Christ! It was all so very welcoming!

2 Corinthians 12:9 “And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

I “floated” out of the venue not coming down from the presence of His Holy Spirit until around 1 am (nearly 4 hours later). Also, having a confirmation in my heart that God had given me a glimpse into my future, knowing that prison ministry is where I belong at least part time in the future. Those lost souls are my heart. I truly know no other way to explain it! “I once was lost but now I’m found!” ONLY GOD knows what’s next and how all of this will fit into my future yet I thank Him for His glimpses that truly help to keep my spirit seeking!



May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

GOTTA GIVE A SHOUT!


I have learned to see this not only as a testimony of major miracles in my life but also as a testimony to His immense mercy.  I’ve learned more recently how He has been there for me even when I was not surrendered to Him.  He loved me even when I did not even show any regard for Him!  He showed me mercy yet I was puzzled by who He was, even though I did believe in Him.

In 1980 I had been saved for 7 years but I was not living a life in the church.  I was 20 years old and involved with a wayward, unsaved young man, and definitely walking in the ways of the world.  At a party I was given 151 Rum and Coke mixed with Valium and I took it knowing that I had had neither before.  Within a few hours I’d fallen off the roof at my boyfriend’s folk’s house.  I crushed a vertebra in my back and remained in the hospital for several days not even remembering the first couple of days most likely due to my severe intolerance of the drug and alcohol combination.

I went on to having another 15 years with an exceptional back until I finally could hide the intermittent problems no more.  I was working in the Emergency room, now a devoted Christian, and having such problems showing up in my feet, yet they were spine related.  By the time I got to an orthopedic doctor I was told to lift my legs one at a time but the left one would only raise a slight bit.  I was eventually told that I would more than likely be in a wheelchair in diapers within a few months since this old break had calcified and was pressing into my spinal cord.  I needed surgery yet no surgeries of this type had been done in Ohio in 1995.

By the recommendation of a family friend I ended up seeing an orthopedic doctor in Chapel Hill, NC who had then performed surgery on people in 27 states and 5 countries.  Surgery had to be done quickly so arrangements were made by my folks to rent an efficiency apartment in Durham, NC where the surgery would be performed in Durham Regional Hospital.  Joe would be driving back and forth from Ohio to NC as he was able during the month that I needed to be there.  I was told that no surgery of this exact type had been done before so there was no prognosis or even an absolute of other than a 50/50 chance of survival.

During this month I had such amazing peace from the Lord.  That peace that passes understanding.  My family was much less than peaceful yet holding on to their own faith in God. 

I was put off work a good 6 weeks prior to surgery and my work was told that I would not be back to work until 6-9 months after surgery.  The surgery was performed in June 8, 1995 and took 10+ hours.  Undoubtedly due to the grace of God, I was back to work in just a little more than 4 months.  A U shaped steel rod and 4 screws are now holding my spine together and have been for just over 20 years now.  My most recent MRI was just a little over a year ago and showed that the hardware is still stable and I am believing that with God’s help that it will be for some time to come.

And I just love this song & I want to shout daily from the Rooftops about my Heavenly Papa so this song has been quite timely in my life:
May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!


Sunday, September 1, 2013

We Serve an Awesome God – Gotta Give a Testimony

I have just got to give a testimony! Most of you know that I have been in recovery from a major (supposed terminal) illness for 10 years now. I used to have some awful chronic painful spells until I went off of the wheat last year and that brought them down to maybe 5% of what they used to be. 

Since I started this “Relentless” class in church about 6 weeks ago I had been having more pain than normal and this morning was just almost unbearable. I sometimes get on the floor to alignment my back (stretch, etc.) and could just barely make it down there, moaning and groaning all the way. (The only way I know how to explain it is that I feel like I'm burning from head to toe...like I'm on fire!)  We went to church and when I hit the pew I sang the first worship song fighting back the tears. I pleaded with the Lord within the song as my eyes welled up.
Next we were passed out the elements for Communion. As I sat holding them all of a sudden I thought “where’d the pain go?” Suddenly all of the pain had left and as I type this, I have had no more pain reliever and I’m fully out of pain still! Hallelujah!

Just thought I might share a song that our worship team led us in this morning that was already a favorite of mine by Kim Walker-Smith.  I hope you all enjoy it:  



May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Sharing Jesus


Someone on here just told me that people complained about me sharing about the Bible.  A couple of years back I wore this really cool tie-dyed t-shirt with a cross in the middle of it (purples, too…quite cool).  A friend I saw loved it but remarked about me wearing it out in public (as have others about other Christian t-shirts that I wear).  I was actually surprised by the comment so as I ran errands I thought about it!  Then,  these words came to my mind “What have they done for you?”.  Jesus died for me why shouldn’t I be willing to do anything for Him?  And a song came to mind from a few years ago:
May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

Friday, January 7, 2011

My Book - Beyond to Better Things by Tricia Marie



First of all I'd like to share that Tricia Marie is my pen name. My name before I was adopted (at 18 days old) was Patricia Marie Beaver. There is quite a bit about my dad in this book. My dad passed away in 2001 at 80 years old and God had healed our relationship. When he passed away, he was once again my Daddy! I didn't wish to dishonor him anymore!

I was saved in 1973 at the age of 13 but no one told me how to make Jesus the Lord of my life. I was living in a dysfunctional household which I share about in this book. It wasn't until 1988 after being arrested for selling LSD, that I truly learned to turn my life over to God. I went onto being sentenced to 2 years in prison (did 16 months with time off for good behavior). I wrote this book mostly while in prison. It is a short testimony with 50 poems that I wrote in prison and an afterthought (written after my release). It is a very easy read and I would advise anyone to purchase it for anyone or specifically for someone on a similar path!

I would also like to encourage you to support the F.I.T.program with your donations: http://www.100hour.org/
20% of the final sale price of ALL of my artwork goes to support this organization!

Monday, July 5, 2010

Testimony Written for Billy Burke Ministries – 2007 – with Update 2013 -- Edited

I was saved at 13 during a conference at the church that I was attending with my folks.  I knew I'd been saved but I had no idea where to go from there and no one told me.  My home life, even though I'd spent most of it in church, was definitely dysfunctional.  My dad, at that time, was just 3 years into this term of his alcohol addiction with a raging German temper that was bad enough without adding alcohol.  My mom was in a depression for the most part of the 1970's.  Yet we were in church every Sunday with my dad intoxicated not long after we got home from Sunday service.  I had no clue how to act so I ran wild for another 15 years.

I rededicated my life to the Lord in 1988, just after being arrested for selling LSD. Five months later I was sentenced to 16 months in prison. Sixteen months that I actually looked forward to going through. I looked forward to leaving that bottomless pit of despair, drugs, alcohol, and all else behind and going off to learn about my Lord. The idea of leaving all of my friends behind ended up being one of the hardest things I’d ever do in my life but I knew there was no way out-- I’d end up dead or committed otherwise. I hated the life I had been living for 18 years (only 28 years old at this time). A life where I spent attempting to fool the world with the whole idea that I was happy living as an accomplished, young career woman, when I felt dead inside. And, I went on spending that entire 16 months in prison getting to know Jesus. I left prison with a new lease on life, drug and alcohol-free; full of nothing more than the Holy Spirit. 

I was interviewed on the telephone from prison by a local TV station. I was actually on that Christian TV show and on Christian Radio in Lima, Ohio after my release in March of 1990.

In December of 1990, after just 8 weeks of dating, I married a loving, Christian man. We knew this was another miracle of God since we are still married 24 years later (2015). 

I had a special anointing on my life and Satan knew it. He struck me again and again with infirmities. But, 

“"I am not afraid, of the storm that comes my way,
When it hits, it shakes me to the core,
And makes me stronger than before"
-- Thousand Foot Krutch (2012)



More recently was a rare and terminal disease called CNS Vasculitis (Central Nervous System Vasculitis or Inflammation of the arteries in the brain and spinal cord). CNSV left me with many, many symptoms including brain lesions and a stroke at the onset of the disease at just 40 years old. Brain lesions are not tumors; they basically have the same symptoms. Lesions are when brain tissue is dead. Tumors are an additional entity added to the brain. Although benign, I still had to be given a drug that was comparable to chemotherapy for Cancer patients. This drug I was just shy of allergic to and it caused me to have many, many more problems.

I spent the most part of the next 2 ½ years in bed. In that first year alone I was prescribed 26 different prescriptions with also having 7 typed pages of symptoms. I lost most of my balance (something like having an inner ear infection) and was put on a cane during that first year. I was finally told in 2003, after seeing numerous doctors that prescribed numerous tests that they thought I was in remission. This after spending that entire 2 ½ years without even 1 week going by that I did not have a test done or see another doctor. That was nearly 4 years ago and I had been fighting to get back to a more normal life where I could stand for more than 10 minutes without having to get my head down.

In 2005, I threw my cane on the dashboard of our moving truck to never use it again. I continued to recover in baby steps. As much as I am able, Jesus has been my constant companion. We also joined a church in Bradenton last summer, Journey Assembly of God (www.journeyassembly.org) and my husband and I have continued to grow in the Lord and just love our fellowship there.

Early in 2007, I went to a class at my church called “Free to Grow”. The first item that was shared was *Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” And, a light bulb went off; I realized that I’d been living too much in ‘one day at a time’, so much so that I’d forgotten His promises to me.

Later that day I went to a celebration at my brother’s condo in Christian Retreat. He had a word from the Lord for me (which was not a normal thing for him), that I had to be at the Billy Burke meeting on Thursday night. That God would meet me there. I came home and looked up Billy Burke on the Internet and read of the healings at his services. I was ecstatic! When I was a child in the 60’s, I read and was told all about Kathryn Kuhlman by my folks who were in the healing ministry (The Order of St. Luke and Faith at Work).  I also had my kidneys healed after reading a book called "Let's Believe" by Agnes Sanford.  I was elated to find someone from that era.

So, I waited for Thursday night (also waiting to be healed) and then met my brother to go over to the meeting. As we walked in and people were singing, I felt 3 cracks in my neck (I’d been in pain all day) and the pain left. This was even before I’d seen Billy Burke (of course, I know the Lord inhabits the praises of His people – and there was already an anointing on the venue). When it came time for prayer, I had my head bowed and was hearing a buzzing in my brain. I waited, rather impatiently, for Billy to say the words “brain lesions”, then I ran for the front of the sanctuary. I was knocked to the floor by God's awesome power even before I could reach Billy Burke. Billy asked me if I realized that he said “brain lesions” (lesions instead of the common tumors) and yes I had noticed. Strange thing was that I’d been calling them tumors for several years due to being tired of explaining the difference. I knew and it didn’t really matter if someone else did. God knew and He told Billy. And I knew the lesions were gone!

I went back to the conference on Saturday night, told the story, and was touched again! My step-son and husband came. My step-son was slain under the power of the Holy Spirit.  My husband was also there that night and I saw his hands in the air for the first time ever.

I had a class on Sunday morning at 9:00 at my church but left a little early to head for Christian Retreat. I arrived late for the service. After turning off of the main road onto the road Christian Retreat is on, I was only able to go about 25 mph due to the cars in front of me. Two cars in front of me passed an extremely slow car and I was unable to pass due to oncoming traffic. The slow car then pulled over to let me pass. It was just like everyone cleared the way for me to get to Christian Retreat. I was amazed!

I made it to Christian Retreat just a few minutes late and looked straight into my brother’s face on the opposite side of the jam packed auditorium. (Things were falling together just like puzzle pieces). Before Billy Burke was introduced and we were singing hymns, The Old Rugged Cross being sung. (This had been a favorite of mine since I was a kid. The last time I’d heard it was when I was in prison and ended up having to be practically carried out of the chapel due to the vision I had of Jesus on the cross. I cried on and off that entire day.) The Lord spoke to me and told me to pay attention to the words that were displayed, which I did. He then told me that was my cry as a child and He’d listened.

After Billy Burke spoke, people lined the isles to the front to reach him. I got in line to actually do no more than thank him for his obedience to God. As I stood in line, I was right next to the stage steps and the cameraman. I realized that I was wasting time just standing there, so I turned and got on my knees on the steps. To make a long story short, I ended up on my back 3 times, being slain in the Spirit and 3 times I tried to get up and went right back down again. I just decided to make use of the time in prayer. I heard that still small voice telling me that I didn’t need Billy Burke to be the point of contact as the others did, that I knew where God’s strength was. I stood in the gap for my mother and her boyfriend. I stood in the gap for my husband, too. I did finally get the chance to thank Billy Burke. I also saw myself as a cheerleader, lying there praising and thanking God for the work He was doing through Billy with all those people.

God also showed me that He was giving me a fresh anointing. I knew that He had anointed me in prison. (He’s shown me since that I have a ministry to the brokenhearted of this world and to that child inside us all that is hurting in so many people.)

I am climbing steps (2 flights) up and down without holding on to the railing, and not having to take one step at a time. I can spin around in circles with my arms out like when I was a kid. I just immediately felt different, stronger. I can pick something up off the floor without feeling like I’m going to dive headfirst. All the things that took balance and didn’t rely on my physical strength, were totally changed at the moment of healing. I believe that if I had an MRI, they’d find no lesions at all! I’ve used my step ladder. Other parts of me are now getting stronger again! I’ve lost weight. Even bones changed in my face that had moved from the Decadron. And I'm expecting to see more and more change as God's healing presence permeates my life!


---Update 2013. I am still recovering from that dreadful illness and God has shown me even more about living a life healthfully. I have posted many other blog entries sharing about His teaching. We went off of all wheat 9+ months ago which there is another post about. This was a big, big healing for me since God has removed most of the pain I had for 30+ years…HALLELUJAH! Please be sure to keep reading!