REWARDS FOR BEING DILIGENT?

*Hebrews 11:6 "But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him."

I rededicated my life to the Lord in 1988, nearly 27 years ago. I am not telling you this because I think it is a short or a long time. For you or anyone else it might be 2 years or 37 but for me it has been nearly 27 years. I know I have never been perfect nor will I be until I am in heaven with my new, heavenly body within the presence of Jesus but I do know that that I have diligently sought Him. I was so done with that past life that I would not be here if it were not for Him. I did not want to look anywhere else. I prayed for Him to help to keep me from slipping; to help me keep from back sliding. Yes, there were many pleasures but there were far more detriments, painful events, heartbreaks, abuses, and I could make a list of the many negatives that remained a part of my life for 28 years but I do not long to go there. I did long to run to Him! I did not do as Lot did, I did not look back!

Even though my life has been a whole lot of work since, He has been with me helping me, guiding me all along! His way is perfect…far better than my way!

*Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”

This year we have felt notably blessed! We felt like we were living in a life of trials and hardships for literally years! And, I am not saying that to be ungrateful, just honest! Sickness has been my friend (not the best friend to have). And I have learned greatly. In those first few years after I rededicated my life to the Lord it was a huge dark cloud that I felt like I walked out from under, no, I usually reference it to Jesus pulling me out of the bottomless pit and watching so many of my friends keep falling (thankfully now, many of them know Jesus, too. Sadly it wasn’t long before 2 were claimed by suicide (including my closest girlfriend) along with others losing their lives and yet others are still falling yet now have brain damage and other maladies). I have so much to be thankful for that I LET JESUS pull me out when I did!

*James 1:2-8 “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”

So we are still counting it all joy that it’s been nearly 27 years since I was “falling”. Oh, the lessons we’ve learned, OH MY! BUT I NEVER EXPECTED THIS! (Remember? ‘He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.’) 2015 has been my best year for my mental state since I was at least in grade school, maybe earlier, and I’m 55. I have had no depression this year at all! I praise and thank Him with really no words to fully express how joyful this makes me! I live a life feeling like I’m walking in a dream most days! I believe He has promised me to have more peace. I started working on the journal mentioned in my last post the beginning of this year on HIS Strength and He has certainly given it over and over!

I was sharing with a friend who I hadn’t seen in some time about what God was doing in my life this year and I know His anointing just came over me because I started talking about something that was not even on my mind. I went back to memories from 1995 when I had a 10 hour spine surgery. When I was fully awake from it in my room (several days later) I looked down and saw finger shaped bruises all down my arms. I started crying, wondering what had happened to me (still under morphine). Then I vaguely remembered waking up in pain in the recovery room. I was told that I’d woken up before they had the morphine pump hooked up to me. I vaguely remembered waking up in pain, getting mad and raising up off the bed. I was always told that I was a fighter. Not mean yet a survivor! And while I was telling the lady this whole story I heard in that still small voice that it would be NO MORE. God said that it was over! No more fighting because of someone else putting me in pain!

It is finally over. And His peace is with me 24 X 7. Even to the point lately that I’ve woken up several times with a sweet presence of His Holy Spirit filling my bedroom to the point of it feeling even tangible as if I had been sleeping in clouds…with this sweet song playing in my head.

Now, I don’t think this means that I will never have any trials, pain, etc… ever again. I actually believe that this is a precursor to Him using me in the future yet He is now showing me where to find refuge!

*Psalm 17:8 “Keep me as the apple of Your eye;
Hide me under the shadow of Your wings,”

*Psalm 91:4 “He shall cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler”

*Psalm 61:4”I will abide in Your tabernacle forever; I will trust in the shelter of Your wings. Selah”

*Psalm 63:7”Because You have been my help, Therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice.”

*Psalm 57:1 “Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me!
For my soul trusts in You; And in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge, Until these calamities have passed by.”

AND, MY FAVORITE SCRIPTURE SINCE NOT LONG AFTER I REDEDICATED MY LIFE TO THE LORD, BECAUSE I KNEW NO PEACE UNTIL I FOUND HIM!

*John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

AND, EVEN BETTER IN THE MESSAGE VERSION:

*John 14:26-27 The Message (MSG) “I’m telling you these things while I’m still living with you. The Friend, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send at my request, will make everything plain to you. He will remind you of all the things I have told you. I’m leaving you well and whole. That’s my parting gift to you. Peace. I don’t leave you the way you’re used to being left—feeling abandoned, bereft. So don’t be upset. Don’t be distraught.”

Now, this does not mean that all of this will happen the same to you.  But, it does mean that He gives you whatever you need!

*Philippians 4:19 "And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus."

I continue to get stronger. I have given away most of my art supplies and will be specializing in Mixed Media Encaustics (I did keep a bit back for gifts, household repairs, etc...) With God’s help I am getting out more and getting more exercise. I’ve gone from almost always having to use an electric cart to actually walking a little on the blacktop, which I’ve only been able to do very little of for 14 years. Many new-to-me things are happening lately. I am spending hours upon hours alone with Him in study, relaxation, strengthening, and worship! I have enough faith for ‘one day at a time’! And I am watching and waiting for what He has next for me!

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

Praying for Wisdom in Trials

I shared the following with a friend yet in the midst I realized that it would be something good to share with more people.  I hope that it blesses you!

"I was just praying for you and it came to mind to share (maybe again) about what I've learned through the book of Job and my own trials!  Satan cannot do anything unless God lets him!  When I feel stuck in a situation that just seems to suck all the joy from my life (James 1:5) I ask Him for wisdom!  He is always letting it happen for a bigger reason than I can see at the moment!  I am sharing this to help you not to condemn you!  I know you can find joy in the midst of your pain...and He's a much quicker fix than any surgery!"

James 1:2-6 "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind."

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

HE'LL NEVER WALK AWAY

I keep apologizing over and over for not posting. I feel so sorry and I truly miss writing but this year has been a blessing and a curse. Yet, I am still here BECAUSE He never walks away.

There has been much going on to keep me from my love of writing but we have been in a transitional period that may aid in the possibility of this happening even less in the future. Not only was my long-term disability denied that is an insurance policy that I have through my previous employer but it necessitated us to dig deeper and pray harder about our current circumstances in the midst of several bouts of illness that left me understanding David in Psalms quite a bit more.

In March I went through the onset of Vertigo along with some other symptoms which explained even more of why my contribution to society must be based solely on God and His help. This was 11 days of the worset vertigo which also included an inner ear infection caused me to experience so many side effects that were similar to what I experienced for 6 years as a result of being put on the Decadron for the brain lesions in 2001. It’s horrid. Ask anyone experiencing vertigo and they will tell you that it make you feel as if you’re dying. The world spins and it started in the pit of my stomach and rose up through my brain. I was mad! I was mad at God, directly, like I’d never experienced in life before. I, very abashedly now, screamed at Him asking Him why He didn’t kill me off when He had the chance (like He doesn’t always?) back in 2001. But, when I calmed down and asked Him why He was still there when I’d been such a brat, I heard in that still, small voice “I still love you”. And after this horrendous spell with the vertigo I realized that my trust was stronger in Him. And, I understood that while I was unleashing my honest anger with Him, I was also trusting in my heart that He would never leave me nor forsake me.

*Deuteronomy 31:6b “…He will not leave you nor forsake you.”’

And, it was proven and it grew my faith.

*Psalm 27:10 “When my father and my mother forsake me,
Then the Lord will take care of me.”

I think this verse means, in general, father and mother being someone or those people who you believe to be as close as a father and mother. Your loved ones.

I yelled “stupidly” at Him and He stayed, loving me all along.



1 Peter 4:12-13 (TLB) “Dear friends, don’t be bewildered or surprised when you go through the fiery trials ahead, for this is no strange, unusual thing that is going to happen to you. Instead, be really glad—because these trials will make you partners with Christ in his suffering, and afterwards you will have the wonderful joy of sharing his glory in that coming day when it will be displayed.”

This is not just some gibberish. And, the feeling is as if it’s all never going to end, but it will. And it is in His time, not ours.

I can’t seem to help but think that sometimes I see a blessing for my future and it just seems to take so many trials to finally get to seeing it in fruition. To explain, God has been showing me things that I thought weren’t really ever going to happen because I expected them to happen in my time. BUT, I just believed and still do:

*Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”

I told you that we realized the need to pray more about our current circumstances. We have been praying for a good year or longer about our living arrangements. Actually indirectly I’m sure that it’d been for quite a bit longer since we are always praying for Him to direct us, for us to remain on His path. Much has fallen into place in the last couple of months. I will share more in future posts but to make a long story short, we have been miraculously moved. So many things fell together just right to produce this move that the only way to shorten this to less than book form is to tell you that we have moved to Christian Retreat in Bradenton and are in the process of getting unpacked and settled. With more to come.



Just thought I’d share that our pastor told us that we should print out Psalm 91 and attach it to our front doors. I’m actually attaching it to the front and back doors.

Psalm 91
Safety of Abiding in the Presence of God

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”

3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler[a]
And from the perilous pestilence.
4 He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
6 Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
8 Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.

9 Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
10 No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
11 For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
12 In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
13 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.

14 “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.”

www.christianretreat.org

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

My First MRI - Written in 2006

The end of 2000, I was a major work-a-holic.  My husband and I were having problems! He kept telling me he loved me but I didn’t feel like I was seeing any evidence of that. I called myself a computer widow. I was the main one raising his son. I was working in Transcription in Radiology at a large multi-county Medical Center at that time. One of our doctors (we had 7 Radiologists) came in and asked me to help him with something. As I was explaining, he took a tissue out of the box on my desk and wiped up a water spot I had made from my cup of ice water. I cried!

That doctor and I never did anything more than just talk, but my husband found a note that I had written to the doctor on Christmas eve, which was slightly suggestive of the idea that I wanted more. Of course, My husband and I went ‘round and I told him that if our marriage was going to survive, we needed to get into counseling. We had his whole family coming for the yearly Christmas Eve party, so we had to put it behind us.

I was already on my second round of anti-biotics for a supposed ear infection at that time. I kept getting more and more ill. My family doc started running all kinds of tests.  He wasn't sure what was going on. I was running into walls and it appeared that I just had an inner ear infection but that nothing would get rid of it. Finally, I talked to one of the Radiologists about my problems and he thought it was best to just do an MRI of my head and internal auditory canals (since I’d had Tinnitus -for a year or so, but only on one side). 

I was scheduled to have an MRI done on January 24th. The evening before the MRI, I sat on my screened back porch. I was talking to God about all that was going on at our house. I ended up telling Him that if there had to be something badly wrong with my brain for us to become closer to Him and closer to each other, then so be it. I just couldn’t stand all the problems, fighting, and worst of all the neglect, any more. I also believe that God showed me to call my mom and tell her that if they found something badly wrong with my brain that she shouldn’t worry because He was taking care of it.

The following day I had the MRI. I knew how to call up the reports on the telephone since I worked in Radiology, so I did that evening and the first thing I heard was that I had a ring-enhancing lesion of about 2 cm in my left frontal lobe that looked like brain metastasis (cancer that had spread from some other primary source) among other lesions.  My husband was standing next to me and I fell to my knees screaming and crying hysterically (of course, I’m still human). I called Radiology, since the doctor that read my MRI was still there and he spoke with me. He said that he always tried to paint the worst picture so that doctors wouldn’t dawdle. And, he said if my doc called him the next day that he would tell him what should be done next. 

Our family hit a brick wall.  The next thing I did was call the 700 Club for prayer and put them on the speaker phone for the 3 of us to hear. I had thought maybe an acoustic neuroma  (benign brain tumor), but cancer was a whole lot different.

And, I went through 2 ½ more years of weekly testing and doctors. Think that may be an exaggeration? My attorney for Social Security had me write down everything including docs for the last 6 months of that 2 1/2 years. The total number of doctors was 14.

In July of 2003, I had an appointment with a doctor for a diagnosis confirmation that was the number one specialist in the world for CNS Vasculitis (CNS Vasculitis is an extremely rare auto immune disease that was only found by autopsy until 1999. There is yet no known cause and it is considered to be terminal). 

I was told by this doctor that he thought that I was in remission since he could see no active disease. He told me that I needed to move from looking at the disease to concentrating on getting better. And, I’ve been fighting, with God’s help, to move into a new life with Him ever since.

I can honestly say that we’ve had some majorly rough times. We’ve given up nearly all that we had and moved 1100 miles away to start a new life.  I was still using a cane to get around until the first day of that move when I through the cane on the dashboard of our moving truck, never to use it again!

In 2005, while our son and I were in Ohio selling our house, my husband had moved to my brother’s down in Bradenton, Florida to start working and he found our new church. I had never told him about that night on the back porch in 2001…and I cried.  

We went on to also join that same church the summer of 2006 and I could see how God had been working in our lives all that time through that whole storm.