HE'LL NEVER WALK AWAY

I keep apologizing over and over for not posting. I feel so sorry and I truly miss writing but this year has been a blessing and a curse. Yet, I am still here BECAUSE He never walks away.

There has been much going on to keep me from my love of writing but we have been in a transitional period that may aid in the possibility of this happening even less in the future. Not only was my long-term disability denied that is an insurance policy that I have through my previous employer but it necessitated us to dig deeper and pray harder about our current circumstances in the midst of several bouts of illness that left me understanding David in Psalms quite a bit more.

In March I went through the onset of Vertigo along with some other symptoms which explained even more of why my contribution to society must be based solely on God and His help. This was 11 days of the worset vertigo which also included an inner ear infection caused me to experience so many side effects that were similar to what I experienced for 6 years as a result of being put on the Decadron for the brain lesions in 2001. It’s horrid. Ask anyone experiencing vertigo and they will tell you that it make you feel as if you’re dying. The world spins and it started in the pit of my stomach and rose up through my brain. I was mad! I was mad at God, directly, like I’d never experienced in life before. I, very abashedly now, screamed at Him asking Him why He didn’t kill me off when He had the chance (like He doesn’t always?) back in 2001. But, when I calmed down and asked Him why He was still there when I’d been such a brat, I heard in that still, small voice “I still love you”. And after this horrendous spell with the vertigo I realized that my trust was stronger in Him. And, I understood that while I was unleashing my honest anger with Him, I was also trusting in my heart that He would never leave me nor forsake me.

*Deuteronomy 31:6b “…He will not leave you nor forsake you.”’

And, it was proven and it grew my faith.

*Psalm 27:10 “When my father and my mother forsake me,
Then the Lord will take care of me.”

I think this verse means, in general, father and mother being someone or those people who you believe to be as close as a father and mother. Your loved ones.

I yelled “stupidly” at Him and He stayed, loving me all along.



1 Peter 4:12-13 (TLB) “Dear friends, don’t be bewildered or surprised when you go through the fiery trials ahead, for this is no strange, unusual thing that is going to happen to you. Instead, be really glad—because these trials will make you partners with Christ in his suffering, and afterwards you will have the wonderful joy of sharing his glory in that coming day when it will be displayed.”

This is not just some gibberish. And, the feeling is as if it’s all never going to end, but it will. And it is in His time, not ours.

I can’t seem to help but think that sometimes I see a blessing for my future and it just seems to take so many trials to finally get to seeing it in fruition. To explain, God has been showing me things that I thought weren’t really ever going to happen because I expected them to happen in my time. BUT, I just believed and still do:

*Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”

I told you that we realized the need to pray more about our current circumstances. We have been praying for a good year or longer about our living arrangements. Actually indirectly I’m sure that it’d been for quite a bit longer since we are always praying for Him to direct us, for us to remain on His path. Much has fallen into place in the last couple of months. I will share more in future posts but to make a long story short, we have been miraculously moved. So many things fell together just right to produce this move that the only way to shorten this to less than book form is to tell you that we have moved to Christian Retreat in Bradenton and are in the process of getting unpacked and settled. With more to come.



Just thought I’d share that our pastor told us that we should print out Psalm 91 and attach it to our front doors. I’m actually attaching it to the front and back doors.

Psalm 91
Safety of Abiding in the Presence of God

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”

3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler[a]
And from the perilous pestilence.
4 He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
6 Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
8 Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.

9 Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
10 No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
11 For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
12 In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
13 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.

14 “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.”

www.christianretreat.org

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

Testimony Written for Billy Burke Ministries – 2007 – with Update 2013 -- Edited

I was saved at 13 during a conference at the church that I was attending with my folks.  I knew I'd been saved but I had no idea where to go from there and no one told me.  My home life, even though I'd spent most of it in church, was definitely dysfunctional.  My dad, at that time, was just 3 years into this term of his alcohol addiction with a raging German temper that was bad enough without adding alcohol.  My mom was in a depression for the most part of the 1970's.  Yet we were in church every Sunday with my dad intoxicated not long after we got home from Sunday service.  I had no clue how to act so I ran wild for another 15 years.

I rededicated my life to the Lord in 1988, just after being arrested for selling LSD. Five months later I was sentenced to 16 months in prison. Sixteen months that I actually looked forward to going through. I looked forward to leaving that bottomless pit of despair, drugs, alcohol, and all else behind and going off to learn about my Lord. The idea of leaving all of my friends behind ended up being one of the hardest things I’d ever do in my life but I knew there was no way out-- I’d end up dead or committed otherwise. I hated the life I had been living for 18 years (only 28 years old at this time). A life where I spent attempting to fool the world with the whole idea that I was happy living as an accomplished, young career woman, when I felt dead inside. And, I went on spending that entire 16 months in prison getting to know Jesus. I left prison with a new lease on life, drug and alcohol-free; full of nothing more than the Holy Spirit. 

I was interviewed on the telephone from prison by a local TV station. I was actually on that Christian TV show and on Christian Radio in Lima, Ohio after my release in March of 1990.

In December of 1990, after just 8 weeks of dating, I married a loving, Christian man. We knew this was another miracle of God since we are still married 24 years later (2015). 

I had a special anointing on my life and Satan knew it. He struck me again and again with infirmities. But, 

“"I am not afraid, of the storm that comes my way,
When it hits, it shakes me to the core,
And makes me stronger than before"
-- Thousand Foot Krutch (2012)

More recently was a rare and terminal disease called CNS Vasculitis (Central Nervous System Vasculitis or Inflammation of the arteries in the brain and spinal cord). CNSV left me with many, many symptoms including brain lesions and a stroke at the onset of the disease at just 40 years old. Brain lesions are not tumors; they basically have the same symptoms. Lesions are when brain tissue is dead. Tumors are an additional entity added to the brain. Although benign, I still had to be given a drug that was comparable to chemotherapy for Cancer patients. This drug I was just shy of allergic to and it caused me to have many, many more problems.

I spent the most part of the next 2 ½ years in bed. In that first year alone I was prescribed 26 different prescriptions with also having 7 typed pages of symptoms. I lost most of my balance (something like having an inner ear infection) and was put on a cane during that first year. I was finally told in 2003, after seeing numerous doctors that prescribed numerous tests that they thought I was in remission. This after spending that entire 2 ½ years without even 1 week going by that I did not have a test done or see another doctor. That was nearly 4 years ago and I had been fighting to get back to a more normal life where I could stand for more than 10 minutes without having to get my head down.

In 2005, I threw my cane on the dashboard of our moving truck to never use it again. I continued to recover in baby steps. As much as I am able, Jesus has been my constant companion. We also joined a church in Bradenton last summer, Journey Assembly of God (www.journeyassembly.org) and my husband and I have continued to grow in the Lord and just love our fellowship there.

Early in 2007, I went to a class at my church called “Free to Grow”. The first item that was shared was *Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” And, a light bulb went off; I realized that I’d been living too much in ‘one day at a time’, so much so that I’d forgotten His promises to me.

Later that day I went to a celebration at my brother’s condo in Christian Retreat. He had a word from the Lord for me (which was not a normal thing for him), that I had to be at the Billy Burke meeting on Thursday night. That God would meet me there. I came home and looked up Billy Burke on the Internet and read of the healings at his services. I was ecstatic! When I was a child in the 60’s, I read and was told all about Kathryn Kuhlman by my folks who were in the healing ministry (The Order of St. Luke and Faith at Work).  I also had my kidneys healed after reading a book called "Let's Believe" by Agnes Sanford.  I was elated to find someone from that era.

So, I waited for Thursday night (also waiting to be healed) and then met my brother to go over to the meeting. As we walked in and people were singing, I felt 3 cracks in my neck (I’d been in pain all day) and the pain left. This was even before I’d seen Billy Burke (of course, I know the Lord inhabits the praises of His people – and there was already an anointing on the venue). When it came time for prayer, I had my head bowed and was hearing a buzzing in my brain. I waited, rather impatiently, for Billy to say the words “brain lesions”, then I ran for the front of the sanctuary. I was knocked to the floor by God's awesome power even before I could reach Billy Burke. Billy asked me if I realized that he said “brain lesions” (lesions instead of the common tumors) and yes I had noticed. Strange thing was that I’d been calling them tumors for several years due to being tired of explaining the difference. I knew and it didn’t really matter if someone else did. God knew and He told Billy. And I knew the lesions were gone!

I went back to the conference on Saturday night, told the story, and was touched again! My step-son and husband came. My step-son was slain under the power of the Holy Spirit.  My husband was also there that night and I saw his hands in the air for the first time ever.

I had a class on Sunday morning at 9:00 at my church but left a little early to head for Christian Retreat. I arrived late for the service. After turning off of the main road onto the road Christian Retreat is on, I was only able to go about 25 mph due to the cars in front of me. Two cars in front of me passed an extremely slow car and I was unable to pass due to oncoming traffic. The slow car then pulled over to let me pass. It was just like everyone cleared the way for me to get to Christian Retreat. I was amazed!

I made it to Christian Retreat just a few minutes late and looked straight into my brother’s face on the opposite side of the jam packed auditorium. (Things were falling together just like puzzle pieces). Before Billy Burke was introduced and we were singing hymns, The Old Rugged Cross being sung. (This had been a favorite of mine since I was a kid. The last time I’d heard it was when I was in prison and ended up having to be practically carried out of the chapel due to the vision I had of Jesus on the cross. I cried on and off that entire day.) The Lord spoke to me and told me to pay attention to the words that were displayed, which I did. He then told me that was my cry as a child and He’d listened.

After Billy Burke spoke, people lined the isles to the front to reach him. I got in line to actually do no more than thank him for his obedience to God. As I stood in line, I was right next to the stage steps and the cameraman. I realized that I was wasting time just standing there, so I turned and got on my knees on the steps. To make a long story short, I ended up on my back 3 times, being slain in the Spirit and 3 times I tried to get up and went right back down again. I just decided to make use of the time in prayer. I heard that still small voice telling me that I didn’t need Billy Burke to be the point of contact as the others did, that I knew where God’s strength was. I stood in the gap for my mother and her boyfriend. I stood in the gap for my husband, too. I did finally get the chance to thank Billy Burke. I also saw myself as a cheerleader, lying there praising and thanking God for the work He was doing through Billy with all those people.

God also showed me that He was giving me a fresh anointing. I knew that He had anointed me in prison. (He’s shown me since that I have a ministry to the brokenhearted of this world and to that child inside us all that is hurting in so many people.)

I am climbing steps (2 flights) up and down without holding on to the railing, and not having to take one step at a time. I can spin around in circles with my arms out like when I was a kid. I just immediately felt different, stronger. I can pick something up off the floor without feeling like I’m going to dive headfirst. All the things that took balance and didn’t rely on my physical strength, were totally changed at the moment of healing. I believe that if I had an MRI, they’d find no lesions at all! I’ve used my step ladder. Other parts of me are now getting stronger again! I’ve lost weight. Even bones changed in my face that had moved from the Decadron. And I'm expecting to see more and more change as God's healing presence permeates my life!


---Update 2013. I am still recovering from that dreadful illness and God has shown me even more about living a life healthfully. I have posted many other blog entries sharing about His teaching. We went off of all wheat 9+ months ago which there is another post about. This was a big, big healing for me since God has removed most of the pain I had for 30+ years…HALLELUJAH! Please be sure to keep reading!