My Papa's Gift - 2010

My step-son is moving back out. We had the opportunity to go up to Ikea with him to help him find various things that he needed. We had just been to Ikea a couple of weeks ago so I was unsure that we needed anything (said a little prayer in my mind) but thought I’d go along to support him and for a little get-away (relaxing ride to Tampa, also). I believed this trip was in God’s direction.

When we got there and were on the way in the as-is room (things priced down very cheaply – opened boxes, seconds, etc…) went through my mind quite abruptly. I knew that I had to visit that area before we left there. We went on to finding the things that he needed.

When we got down to the as-is room, I was talking to the Lord in my head and I knew that I had to specifically look for something special that He had there for me. I looked through almost all of the things in that room and was tired so I looked for a place to sit for a minute and then I spotted it and tears came to my eyes. I nearly tripped over this 4 sided wooden box with slits cut for handles and feet with a $10.00 sticker on it. Then my Grandpa’s tiles came to mind. I was bowled over. To explain: I have had a box of porcelain on steel tiles for quite a few years that my maternal Grandfather manufactured (I’m told) in the 1930’s (he was promoted to Glory in 1980). I’ve had the idea to make a wooden box, covered with them, for a planter to make a way of cherishing them where I could see them. I’ve only seen these tiles once or twice, out in our shed, since our move to Florida in 2005. I’d not even had the opportunity to work on it since the move although it has been a dream of mine since Ohio. It so touched my heart that I was sharing what happened with Joe and could hardly speak due to being so choked up. I was struck by how intimately my Papa knows me. How amazingly He was being my provider. And, the materials to make the box would’ve definitely come to more than $10.00 and required quite a bit of planning and work. I also felt that with this, He showed, once more, His appreciation for my sentimentality. Much of my artwork that has been inspired by the Holy Spirit has used old jewelry, old button shoe clips of my Grandmother, old family photographs, etc... which helped them to become so much more special, to me.

My husband and I have been coming closer and closer to the Lord. We have been shown sacrifices to make and have been obedient. Over the weekend I’d put my foot down and claimed that I would not doubt Him, no matter what. And, I shared with my guys (that seemed nearly oblivious to what had happened) that through this plain old box that probably no one else wanted (end of the day, too) that God was able to touch me to the point of tears (what is one man’s trash is another’s treasure). I saw that as so special, so intimate…He wanted to touch me in such a way that I had absolutely no doubt that this box was a gift from Him. And, this verse came to mind: *Matthew 7:11 “If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!”

Our Responsibility to Reach - 2007

It is our responsibility to reach the “unreachable”! God is anointing our path! He is the only way these people can be reached…the world’s throw-aways; the ones that threw themselves away because they thought no one wanted them. Today I made a contract with God to protect me and I would lead them to Him!

Let me explain a bit further: I was lost but I found Him! In 1988, I’d just been arrested for selling LSD, when I was at the bottom; He found me there and pulled me up out of the bottomless pit. I did 16 months in prison learning to know Him better, and then I was loosed on the world. I married, learned to live life on the outside while working in a hospital for nearly 10 years and raising my husband’s son. I was also a stagnate Christian! 

In 2001, brain lesions were found and I ended up being diagnosed with a terminal illness (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cerebral_vasculitis). I was healed and I’m coming back with a vengeance for God! I told Him to use me in 1988, and He’s holding me to it! Now, I am 47 years young and as long as I’m with Him, I sure don’t feel old and I’m growing stronger with each and every day! He won’t let me go!

Today, He moved me to write and so I’m writing! When I was in prison, I used to lay back on my bunk and listen to the music that I was sent, with my headphones and walk man, and let God transport me to another place in His Holy Spirit! There was very little Christian music at that time, but He used what there was (White Cross, Rez, Petra and even Amy Grant to name a few). Years ago, I found “God” by Rebecca St. James and my eyes and ears were opened further to the point of Kutless and then Skillet. And the feelings I had of wanting to shout that I’d found Him from the rooftops, was met! More recently, I found www.theblast.fm and I found even more to life! In 1971, I got high and listened to Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd to escape from this world and right now, I’m listening to Red “End of Silence” and getting high on God! I’ve found my way of escape and it’s so very much sweeter than before!

It is our responsibility to reach those who are the lost and/or will be the lost if they stay on the same path. These people are waiting for us, but may not even know we’re coming! He is sending us to pull them out of the path of Satan, to pull them out of that bottomless pit where I was falling. I was told by my psychologist in the 1980’s that I was one in 5% that ever gets out of where I was! Our road is steep, and climbable only with Him!

I am writing this today as confirmation for what He has already shown you because He has shown me, too!

*Isaiah 61   "The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me, because the LORD hath anointed Me to preach good tidings unto the meek. He hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound,  To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn,  To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness, that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that He might be glorified…"

YOU ARE - 2010

This weekend has been a profound one. I believe He has led me to share some of this with those who read this blog.

I truly wish I could find more time to write but it seems that I only feel led to this point when God is truly working something in me that's moved me to tears time and again and I have the time to sit down, which is now.

I shared with an old friend recently that I was so thankful to have the few friends that stuck by me even though I was not one of those ‘most of the night partiers’. I was part of a group of people in a music fan club for several years. My husband was the DJ for their yearly conventions. I found myself spending a whole lot of time in my hotel room because I didn't want to be a part of the drinking and carousing in the hotel rooms of others. There were certain people who stand out in my mind because they always befriended me. They walked with me and talked with me, even though I wouldn't be a part, and they treated me in such a way that I knew they cared for me. These people touched my heart and some now are also Christians and not a part of this most of the night stuff, either. One of these people wrote to me recently. They shared that I was one of the nicest people at these conventions. I shared that if they'd known the parties I had in the 1980's that were an absolute hell on earth to me, that they would understand why I had no trouble at all staying away from those convention parties.

Then the Lord started to work in my heart. And, I couldn't explain it. Something was churning inside of me and I felt different. Later last night, My husband and I were watching a movie and an actor got terribly angry and I just had to turn my head away and I was getting terribly upset. My husband reminded me that it was just a movie and I calmed down and thanked him for reminding me of that. Then I shared with him what I had told the friend that I’d heard from. And, all of this kept churning within my mind, and within my spirit.

 I've shared with people in the past that I truly believe that if I walked away from God that it would be like pulling my own plug. God is my lifeline. Without Him I couldn't survive. To explain further, everyone is like me and has been there (says them). But, God has shown me that I'm alive ONLY by His hand. That I was going over the edge. I was checking out of life. I was finished with it all! I'd had too much! I worked as a secretary/ bookkeeper/ activity director and director pro tem at a county agency when I was arrested for selling LSD. I ran around looking preppy in my ironed skirts and high heels. I at least thought had the world fooled for so long, but I was dying inside! I could take this world no longer. I'd lived through years upon years of depression. When in my 20's, I was just doing what I could to survive, which meant being intoxicated on something as near 24 X 7 as possible, just to stay alive. This was necessary to me to make me forget all that I lived through in my younger years. And God watched and kept me alive all through it as my mother prayed! (

Hebrews 13:5b “For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.””

And

James 5:16b “The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”

And, yesterday He revealed to me how much He cared, even through all my craziness! He gave me a revelation that He knew how bad I’d been hurting inside! (Those memories that haunted me from my teenage years, he healed some time ago. I was unable to even go through “trashing” those memories. I could not relive them in my mind. He took all that pain away, Praise the Lord! He delivered me!) I realized I still had awful ones to remember from my adulthood. Someone doesn't go through such things without a profound effect on them.

When I was in the group home for mental health patients in a profound depression at 19, I witnessed several gory suicide attempts, along with one of my closest friends being a cutter. I was in a psychiatric ward, myself, for 5 different suicide attempts or near attempts. That is why after I was arrested for selling drugs (1988) that suicide had ceased to be an option in my mind. I couldn't even do that right, or so I thought.

Last night, I had the realization that He watched me, He carried me. After I was arrested, He pulled me to Him. He knew I'd had enough.  I was headed to commit myself and He sent friends to tell me more about Him. He stopped me from checking out of life!

And, His love for me reached deep down inside and pulled out those hurts and I cried and cried and cried some more. For two Sundays it had seemed as though He was taking me aside, touching me in a way apart from the congregation. And I wept. I had this profound KNOWING that even when I felt so alone all those years, that I wasn’t. God was there! And, I experienced His healing love within my heart once again!

And, He continues to be, everything I need! Do you need Him? If you would like to accept Jesus into your heart, please repeat this simple prayer, truly meaning it, and you will be saved. God bless you!

Dear God,
I admit that I am a sinner. I have done many things that don’t please you. I am sorry and I repent. I ask you to forgive me. I believe that you died on the cross for my sins. I come to you now and ask you to take control of my life, I give it to you. Help me to live every day in a way that pleases you. Amen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=211y1hH8EnI

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!