I’m working on my first Bible Journaling since our return from Pennsylvania. We went to visit our son (my step-son) and won’t go again until we are sure that winter is over. Our trip started out cold but tolerable until when were were closer to leaving then things fell apart – nearly everything! I got sick, my husband got sick, the weather turned to us being delayed in flying home due to us running from a major storm to get out of there. Our son was in a car accident – not hurt yet car probably totaled. We came home to a messy house, I was so exhausted, still feeling ill. My hubby having to have a tooth pulled on top of still fighting the pink eye. I was in a lousy mood, not wanting to talk to anyone. My brother called, read me scripture and prayed for me (one of the very nicest things of growing up with a big brother who’s a minister (now retired)). With all the mess in our home I could not even seem to wrap any part of my head around Bible Journaling even though I knew it would help me to feel better! I actually just started leafing through my Journaling Bible looking for inspiration. And my eyes were diverted to *Hebrews 13:5b “…I will never fail you, I will never abandon you.” And I was reminded of that period back in 2013 that I always wanted to share about. I had vertigo. I don’t know how many of you have had it but if you have, you know what I’m talking about when I share that it is one of the most awful symptoms there is. It is also very similar to the “Brain Nausea” that I had when on the Decadron for the brain lesions that I incurred from the CNS Vasculitis. I was so mad at God for letting this happen again that I said all kinds of things to Him that I would have never said in my right mind. After this I felt foolish for saying such things, begging His forgiveness. And yet all the while I was mad and spewing I kept hearing “And, I still love you.”… “And, I’m still here.”…and I won’t leave you.” This is where I truly learned this, deep within my heart and it changed me somewhat. I learned of His deep love for me like never before. He was reminding me of this now. And my heart softened at His MERCY!
Recently I’ve been doing a Bible Hymnal Journaling Challenge. I was asked to share how He spoke to me while doing it since I did it differently than others. I believe it may be of interest to some of you so I’m sharing the same here: I approached this new hymnal mapping challenge the same way that I do with anything spiritual, leaving it in God’s hands and letting Him show me what to do with it. I found out the first hymn we were going to use was “A Mighty Fortress is our God” and I instantaneously saw fort walls…the big grey brick walls. I saw them nearly 24X7 after that (in my mind’s eye). But nothing else came until after the information was put out on Monday to start the 5 week study. I read all about it and perusing my FB groups. I went to another Bible Journaling group (Bible Journaling for Beginners Community) and was just glancing through all of the Journaling art as I do daily when I saw the scripture posted: Proverbs 18:4: “Wise words are like deep waters; wisdom flows from the wise like a bubbling brook.” And a time from 2013 came to mind when I kept having this song go through my mind and every so often I felt bubbles rising up within me. (I don’t know why I never investigated this further but I didn’t). Then I thought of my new Inspire Proverbs coloring book that I had yet to do much in and didn’t know why…well, maybe this was it? And to my surprise I saw Proverbs 18:10 “The name of the Lord is a strong fortress; the godly run to him and are safe.” Right within the same chapter along with the following illustrated journaling page on the same verse. The rest is just what I saw in my mind’s eye as I spoke with Him and worked on it. I kept seeing those fort walls and you will see how I incorporated them. The envelope on the tip-in has the words to the song from 2013 “Everlasting God” as performed by Seventh Day Slumber along with all of the scriptures that we were given for this hymn, looked up and printed out. Everlasting God lyrics Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord We will wait upon the Lord We will wait upon the Lord Our God, You reign forever Our hope, our Strong Deliverer You are the everlasting God The everlasting God You won’t grow weary Our God, You reign forever Our hope, our Strong Deliverer You are the everlasting God The everlasting God You do not faint You won’t grow weary You’re the defender of the weak You comfort those in need You lift us up on wings like eagles I had shared about my “His Strength” journal that I made from front to back. Robin Mead has instructions on her blog. She is a Christian artist. I have been collecting scriptures, stories, lyrics, quotes, etc… since I made it, on God’s Strength. The words to the hymn and song will be put in this book, too. By the time I did all of this I had also read all of the statistics regarding this hymn but could not remember them and God did not bring them to mind so I just figured this was it. I believe all of this came together like this for God’s reminder to me that He not only gives us His Strength but He also provides His Protection, too. approached this new hymnal mapping challenge the same way that I do with anything spiritual, leaving it in God’s hands and letting Him show me what to do with it. I found out the first hymn we were going to use was “A Mighty Fortress is our God” and I instantaneously saw fort walls…the big grey brick walls. I saw them nearly 24X7 after that (in my mind’s eye). But nothing else came until after the information was put out on Monday to start the 5 week study. I read all about it and perusing my FB groups. I went to another Bible Journaling group (Bible Journaling for Beginners Community) and was just glancing through all of the Journaling art as I do daily when I saw the scripture posted: Proverbs 18:4: “Wise words are like deep waters; wisdom flows from the wise like a bubbling brook.” And a time from 2013 came to mind when I kept having this song go through my mind and every so often I felt bubbles rising up within me. (I don’t know why I never investigated this further but I didn’t). Then I thought of my new Inspire Proverbs coloring book that I had yet to do much in and didn’t know why…well, maybe this was it? And to my surprise I saw Proverbs 18:10 “The name of the Lord is a strong fortress; the godly run to him and are safe.” Right within the same chapter along with the following illustrated journaling page on the same verse. The rest is just what I saw in my mind’s eye as I spoke with Him and worked on it. I kept seeing those fort walls and you will see how I incorporated them. The envelope on the tip-in has the words to the song from 2013 “Everlasting God” as performed by Seventh Day Slumber along with all of the scriptures that we were given for this hymn, looked up and printed out. Everlasting God lyrics Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord We will wait upon the Lord We will wait upon the Lord Our God, You reign forever Our hope, our Strong Deliverer You are the everlasting God The everlasting God You won’t grow weary Our God, You reign forever Our hope, our Strong Deliverer You are the everlasting God The everlasting God You do not faint You won’t grow weary You’re the defender of the weak You comfort those in need You lift us up on wings like eagles I had shared about my “His Strength” journal that I made from front to back. Robin Mead has instructions on her blog. She is a Christian artist. I have been collecting scriptures, stories, lyrics, quotes, etc… since I made it, on God’s Strength. The words to the hymn and song will be put in this book, too. By the time I did all of this I had also read all of the statistics regarding this hymn but could not remember them and God did not bring them to mind so I just figured this was it. I believe all of this came together like this for God’s reminder to me that He not only gives us His Strength but He also provides His Protection, too.
May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!
In
retrospect to just a little more than a month ago I believe I will start off
with this song that keeps going through my head:
You
do just never know what way your life will turn tomorrow. We actually thought that we were eating
fairly well, at least as well as the next person. Who knew that pizza contained enough salt to
kill a person? We sure had no clue that
when we were given free pizza coupons that we were risking my life in
ordering! I love pizza. I knew it was a fattening meal but neither of
us had a clue that it would send me to the hospital and even fascilitate a
heart attack. And I ate just 4 small
square cut pieces that amounted to maybe 1 ½ slices. I was told that my heart and lungs were not
strong enough to pump off the water retention that the salt in the pizza created.
We
were watching TV with our easy (?) pizza dinner. Within a few minutes I was gasping for air
yelling for my husband to call 9-1-1. It
was so very scary that it took me more than a month to get the image out of my
mind. I’ve been through so much illness
in the past yet not being able to breath is the worst. Too much was going on for me to even think
about chest pain, and I was having a heart attack in the midst of an attack of
Congestive Heart Failure.
Congestive heart failure (CHF) is a condition in which the heart can no longer pump blood as efficiently as it used to. This causes blood and other fluids to back up in the body – particularly in the liver, lungs, hands, and feet.
I
was admitted to the hospital with the idea of giving me IV diuretics and soon
doing a cardiac catheter (my 4h one this year).
This time went by and we were praising God at the outcome of the Cardiac
Catheter being that no additional damage had been done. I had no idea that when I was released
following this procedure on Thursday that I would be returning just a few days
later.
Pizza
again? Yep, the same culprit! And, we now knew what was causing the
problems. Here it is nearly a month
later and I still have no craving for pizza nor anything else high in sodium,
which is the nutritional value of most convenience food out there these days. You have to check everything, even frozen
vegetables.
I
did not let this episode go as far before asking my husband to call 9-1-1. I was scared of waiting too long. The squad came and they put me on the cart in
our living room. I wanted to write about
this sooner and now I see why I had not.
The thought of this entire ordeal still haunts me. Even though I know, now, how God saved me I
think this is important enough to share.
Smoking
is just awful. If I had that wish that I
could do it over again I would’ve never started. The fact is that I was 11 when I first held a
cigarette thinking it was cool. At that
time in 1971 I did not inhale. I am
wondering if that person that I I’ve found again in life on Facebook had any
idea what she was doing when she taught me how to inhale at 14, in 1974? I would doubt it. Her mother also smoked more than a chimney. My dad was a smoker. In 1974 it was rarely thought of that this
was a disgusting, dirty, stinky habit yet that it was hazardous to your health. So, it kept going…smoking in my parent’s
house at 16 and more than 2 packs a day by my 20’s along with the marijuana
smoking for years. I managed to quit
smoking the marijuana in my late 20’s along with doing all of the other drugs
except for those cigarettes. They ended
up being the hardest thing to quit. BUT
I did it. It wasn’t easy and I now wish
I’d have done it much sooner but I’m so thankful that I did. If you’d like to know how I went about it
after 33 years check out this post:
By
the time the rescue squad got me to the hospital this time (less than 10 min.
from us) I was much worse. Even though
they had asked me if I’d been previously intubated (only under sedation in
surgery) they had not been willing to go there.
This time my breathing had been so labored for so long and it was not changing. I remember telling them that I couldn’t keep
it up. I was getting so tired! The next thing I remember was opening my eyes,
I was breathing on a machine and my husband was holding my hand and looking at
me. I TALKED TO JESUS. I have no idea what I would’ve done at this
point if I did not know in my heart that He was there, otherwise I would’ve
just been alone behind the machine. Yet
He was there with me. I spoke to Him, asking
Him to take care of my husband. I couldn’t
imagine being him. And, I asked Jesus to
take me home. This is the worst that I
think I have ever felt. But Jesus told me
that my husband still needed me.
The
following morning I awoke, still intubated, but breathing room air. I was immediately told that they were seeing
if I could breath on my own and I had to be awake for a couple of hours and
breathing like that and they would extubate me.
Jesus sat on the chair in my ICU room.
He told me that it was going to be OK.
Two
days later I was moved out to a telemetry bed.
This was more of a step-down unit.
I was still being monitored but I no longer had to have the attention of
Intensive Care. I was still on oxygen
with a Foley Catheter and they were draining the water off of my lungs and
entire body. I was admitted for
Congestive Heart Failure yet no heart attack at this time.
I
had been taken to Northside Hospital which was less than 10 minutes from
us. I was surprised at the difference from Morton
Plant. Yes, there were many nice people
at Morton Plant but I did not receive the quality of care and attention that the
employees at Northside gave me. I was
even surprised by the doctors who treated me as an individual, giving me so
much individual attention. Questions
that I’d had for even years were answered within the time that I was
there. I would be there for another week
but was released with a new Cardiologist, Dr. Peter Wassmer There were so many employees there that I felt
went above and beyond the call that I shared a list with the charge nurse and I
want to share some names here (written on scrap paper with colored pencil):
And
others that I failed to get the names written down for.
And,
as always, I know that things happen for a reason.
*Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”
And,
*James
1:5“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all
liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”
I
learned a major lesson this time. For
one, the song that had been going through my mind for all of 3 weeks meant that
I was supposed to take notice to the words.
God has spoken many times in this way to me.
And,
I knew that God was telling me that I needed to surrender even more than I did. Always let go of it all. And a lightbulb went off. If it all was surrendered to Him, I didn’t
have to like what was happening BUT He would take care of it all anyway. I’d released it to Him.
It
took me a good 10 days after returning home to see that I was mad that I was
still here. I am that assured that
heaven will be magnificent beyond my wildest dreams that I am ready to go there
whenever He wants to take me. BUT all it
took was admitting that and I started to feel better. I was swimming just after that and only 2
weeks from going on a cruise for our 27th wedding anniversary.
May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!
