He is making perfect sense out of a perfectly senseless, messed up life!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Journaling and Then Some - 2010

I guess today’s writing is really more of a journal to me than a writing for someone else to read. I actually read the definition of a journal last night (““a record of experiences, ideas, or reflections kept regularly for private use.” Excerpt from “A Heart Ablaze”” by John Bevere) and saw that most of my writings, although I’ve felt like they were journalling, were prayers to God (mostly just talking to God). Then I write about things for my blog that many other people merely journal. I’m just certain that there would be so much better reading out there if many of those people that journalled daily would share those ideas, experiences, and reflections with others. I believe the only reason why I actually started to share mine is out of obedience. I believe God showed me that there were others out there that needed to read them. When I got my first real comment (when my blog was at Christianblogspots.com) from a stranger, I bawled like a baby. And, I realized that just that one made all the writing worthwhile.

I fully realized this with writing my book, too. I’ve made a total of $3.85 in royalties, although I purchased almost 2 dozen and sold most of them myself. I made very little but the comments I’ve gotten from those who purchased them were worth much more to me than any monetary value! So, I’m working on writing a second book that is a culmination of short non-fiction writings by me and will be called “A Mosaic of Me”. I’m also working on the cover design. I don’t know how it’ll do, but that’s not actually my reason for writing it. Coming back once again to the scriptures that I believe wholeheartedly encompass the Christian life, Proverbs 3:5, 6 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”

With that I want to share more of how God spoke to me recently. I attended a class at my church last night based on a book and workbook “A Heart Ablaze” by John Bevere. First of all, every time I prayed or even mentioned this class in my head to God, I’d hear this still small voice say “you prayed for fire.” over and over and over again, this last month or so that the pastor has been advertising this class in church. As if He was saying ‘was there ever any doubt?’ or ‘why ask?”. So, I knew this class was for me. It’s twelve weeks of Wednesday night classes with extra reading and homework that I am overjoyed to commit to.

Part of our homework assignment for next week is “Take the time to write your own personal mission statement for A Heart Ablaze.” (From “A Heart Ablaze” by John Bevere). As I drove home, I thought and thought about this mission statement while listening to a CD in my car. The song came on “You Won’t Relent” by Misty Edwards. I heard the words:

“Come be a the fire inside of me
Come be the flame upon my heart
Come be a the fire inside of me
Until You and I are one [x4]”

Then, I went to bed last night and that song played in my head all night long while I dreamed over and over again how I was uniquely made for what He was having me do in my life. I believe He is calling me to not only being a writer but also a speaker. Right now with my still nominal disabilities it can be hard for me to see at times, but no matter what He keeps bringing that back to my heart and in last night’s dream He once again showed me how I was uniquely made for this position.

This song “You Won’t Relent” touches me deeply into my soul. And, I had my mission statement.

If you like this song, you might look back in my archives or comment to me if you can’t find at least one other writing about how God used it to speak to me.