He is making perfect sense out of a perfectly senseless, messed up life!

Monday, July 26, 2010

Purple - My Favorite Color! - 2010

We were sharing in our ladies' class before church yesterday. I remember thinking ‘what do Christians do on a Saturday night (hypothetically) if not ‘out partying’?’ I’d thought about how boring it must be. Was I ever so very wrong! In so many ways, all the ladies in the class were on the same page, as in every Sunday morning. Everything points to our learning about the same ‘truth’ from God’s word. It is so very beneficial that I hate to miss a class. Many times we go on to church with the Pastor's sermon just reiterating what the ladies were also working on.

Being a Christian has proved to me to be far from boring.  I don’t remember being bored for even a day or an hour for this entire 22 years.   My daily walks with the Lord have proven to be an eye opening, mostly enjoyable experience. He knows who I am. He created me so He knows every part of me. He knows what makes my life interesting to me and He loves me so He provides me with much to intrigue me. For instance, the following happened just this morning, and I had to share it with a few of my closest friends. I sent this e-mail: “Good morning! Just had to share this with you! Years ago (when a teen) I remember reading what favorite colors could mean about a person which is why I didn’t pick purple as I thought it meant that I was too bold. As I’m starting my 2nd collage “Ode to Purple”, I was praying about its composure and it came to mind to look up the definition of a person whose favorite color is purple and when I saw it I actually shrieked with tears coming to my eyes. It is so me! WOW! As I read it again, I’m so overwhelmed!  The first sentence is that I believe God has shown me that one of my main tasks is to let people know how unique they are.  That God made each of us unique for a special reason! Quite cool!

“Purple: Purples are highly individual, fastidious, witty and sensitive, with a strong desire to be unique and different. Temperamental, expansive and artistic, a Purple person may become aloof and sarcastic when misunderstood. If you chose Purple, you tend to be unconventional, tolerant and dignified, likely to achieve positions of authority.” (From: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/favorite-color-personality.html?page=3)

Explanation of my art on my fan page: “Most of my artwork is inspired by our Creator's Complexity in that He created each one of us so unfathomable that one has to look many times over to see every aspect of each and every one of us! I appreciate that uniqueness and value those who dare to be who God created them to be! I hope you enjoy my art and appreciate that I also include a bit of whimsy as me being who I was created to be! I don't expect you to love it all but I hope you find something that you can appreciate. Thank you for looking!””

This is being revised to add the poem that I wrote about Purple and a photo of the collage that I made:

Ode to Purple

I decided to journey
into what makes “me” up
To see beyond this
50 Year old disabled lady.
The old fear of this color
behind me.
I delve into it again.
The Purple
I see that
is truly there inside.
It was “me” all the time…
now God’s freedom
is letting “me” out!
The Purple “me” I see,
I like!

I just posted a photo on Facebook of one of my first paintings. I have not really done any painting until just the last couple of months so I've posted several photos to an album entitled "Playing", along with a few playful drawings that I've started to do again, not doing much drawing at all since prison (more than 20 years ago). The painting I am sharing I did a couple of weeks ago. I realized that I liked it more than any I'd done yet because the brush strokes felt like they represented a freedom to me. But, then while taking some good photos of it yesterday, it hit me -- it looks like the purple is exploding -- purple freedom -- however you say it! I love it even more now. I think I'll frame this one and hang it somewhere in my home as a special memory to me! Check it out:

If you are blessed by this blog entry, please leave me a comment as it totally encourages me to write more. I will appreciate it even more than you know and even consider it as a special gift from you! Thank you & may God bless your coming and your going!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Cute Little Share - 2010

Just thought I’d share a cute little story from today. I was coming home from running errands. I was driving down highway 41 towards home with all my windows down, sunroof open, stereo blaring away, and hair blowing in the wind. A car switched lanes behind me and seemed intent on going faster than it had been. As it blew past me on the right as I bore off to the left on 19, I saw its windows all down and the two ladies in it had their hair blowing in the breeze, also. What a wonderful feeling and I wondered if they felt the same, too? Cool thing is that I was a bit shocked when I looked down at my external thermometer and it read 95 degrees!  God truly makes life bearable!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Revelations While Visiting My Mom - 2010

I went to see my 87 year old mother today. She resides in a local nursing home. I had a couple of revelations while I was there. She told me that she doesn’t think she gets those types of revelations. I’m wondering if she does but may just not get as excited about it as I do. I’m an emotional person. I seem to live in my emotions and I'm not sure if this is a good or a bad thing. Hmmmmm…I guess when they’re good, it’s a good thing!

My mother is not in good health. Along with having the physical results of 3 strokes she now has numerous maladies from being down for so long. She hasn’t walked since her gall bladder surgery of March, 2009. She shares that she is in resultant pain and/or discomfort most of the time.  It wasn't easy dealing with her but many times God gave me a picture of her in my mind's eye as though she were a wounded animal due that she also has dementia so she could not always think clearly.

I can tend to be in quite some pain due to all of the past accidents I’ve been through, not just with my back (which is the most severe) but throughout much of my body. But, when I do my artwork, there seems to be no pain or at least not enough to bother me! I was sharing with my mom that she needed to get involved in activities in order to distract her from those painful thoughts. And, I really believe that the Holy Spirit was reaffirming to me that He doesn’t always take the pain away, but makes it easier to bear so we will not be tempted to complain, get angry, get distracted from doing good, etc. *1 Cor. 10:13 “ No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”

I went on to share more with her and I’d thought that she seemed happier at this nursing home than she was in the past but she shared with me that she’d just given up hope. She didn’t care anymore. She shared that she lacked purpose. So, I shared that I would pray for her and also shared *James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”

And, yet another thing came to me. She has had trouble with many caregivers over the past few years, complaining about most. I asked her if she still prayed for them (she was doing this at one time) and she told me that she’d stopped because it didn’t seem to do any good. She prayed for me for 28 years before I rededicated my life to the Lord and turned from my wild ways, which I reminded her of.  What if she’d stopped? Maybe I wouldn’t be so different right now? And, I also shared this scripture with her: James 4:2b “…you do not have because you do not ask.” And Luke 6:28 “bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.” What do you think?

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

All I Have to do is Ask - 2010 - PLUS 2012 UPDATE

I was sent a devotional by a friend this morning that opened my eyes (yet again). It primarily talked about how we doubt God’s power and forget to ask for what He’s promised to us. To explain: I’ve been copying old writings into my blog to get them saved somewhere besides my home computer. I’ve been doing this for quite some time so that I’ve relieved myself of the responsibility of doing a whole lot of writing from scratch. A few days ago I finished copying the last of them (at least of what I’ve found so far) and immediately I thought “oh, no. This means I have to start writing again”. So I’ve had this in the back of my mind, or I guess it’s been the Holy Spirit urging me to just do it; to just sit down and write. Then I saw the devotional and I knew it, it couldn’t wait any longer, so here I am writing and praying for God’s power, for His words to flow through my fingers! I looked above my desk to a list of scriptures hanging there and see “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5, 6. 

The Holy Spirit has been speaking to me, moving through me. If you are reading this right now, yes this is partially about you. I believe He has given me a ministry to these precious friends on Facebook. Sunday in church as we took communion our pastor told us to ask God to show us someone we were to reach for Him and I heard in that still small voice, “the world”. In this vast reaching media of Facebook, God has allowed me to reach out to the world for Him. I am in awe of how He has increased my friends in number by nearly 1100 in just 3 short weeks. My blog is now reaching out to almost 50 people and I have yet to invite all my friends to read it as yet. Not to mention that my fan page is also nearing 600. This is all just too much for me to have done alone. I have no doubt that I followed the instruction of the Holy Spirit to start requesting friendships of artists/art related people. And, now, I know that He has given me the part of reaching out to these friends for Him. All encompassing, once again, Proverbs 3:5, 6. I truly didn’t have a clue how big this was going to be, and it’s still growing day by day.

A month or so ago I prayed for motivation. I was having trouble feeling like writing, doing my artwork, exercising, and on and on. I have been so touched by all the sharing and compliments from these new friends that I’m now working on entering a contest with my artwork, here I am writing, and the motivation is nearly limitless! He truly knows what we need! And, most importantly, all we have to do is ask: Luke 11: 9 “So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” Hallelujah!

Oh my!  I had to share after reading this because God has increased these numbers to the point of nothing short of miraculous.  One of those things that is a definite 'God Sighting'.  My FB friends hover right around 5000.  The followers of this blog number 457.  And, at last look my fan page is at 1575.  Every time I take time to look at the numbers I'm in awe and have no idea what the future holds.  Just living it one day at a time!

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

Monday, July 5, 2010

Testimony Written for Billy Burke Ministries – 2007 – with Update 2013 -- Edited

I was saved at 13 during a conference at the church that I was attending with my folks.  I knew I'd been saved but I had no idea where to go from there and no one told me.  My home life, even though I'd spent most of it in church, was definitely dysfunctional.  My dad, at that time, was just 3 years into this term of his alcohol addiction with a raging German temper that was bad enough without adding alcohol.  My mom was in a depression for the most part of the 1970's.  Yet we were in church every Sunday with my dad intoxicated not long after we got home from Sunday service.  I had no clue how to act so I ran wild for another 15 years.

I rededicated my life to the Lord in 1988, just after being arrested for selling LSD. Five months later I was sentenced to 16 months in prison. Sixteen months that I actually looked forward to going through. I looked forward to leaving that bottomless pit of despair, drugs, alcohol, and all else behind and going off to learn about my Lord. The idea of leaving all of my friends behind ended up being one of the hardest things I’d ever do in my life but I knew there was no way out-- I’d end up dead or committed otherwise. I hated the life I had been living for 18 years (only 28 years old at this time). A life where I spent attempting to fool the world with the whole idea that I was happy living as an accomplished, young career woman, when I felt dead inside. And, I went on spending that entire 16 months in prison getting to know Jesus. I left prison with a new lease on life, drug and alcohol-free; full of nothing more than the Holy Spirit. 

I was interviewed on the telephone from prison by a local TV station. I was actually on that Christian TV show and on Christian Radio in Lima, Ohio after my release in March of 1990.

In December of 1990, after just 8 weeks of dating, I married a loving, Christian man. We knew this was another miracle of God since we are still married 24 years later (2015). 

I had a special anointing on my life and Satan knew it. He struck me again and again with infirmities. But, 

“"I am not afraid, of the storm that comes my way,
When it hits, it shakes me to the core,
And makes me stronger than before"
-- Thousand Foot Krutch (2012)

More recently was a rare and terminal disease called CNS Vasculitis (Central Nervous System Vasculitis or Inflammation of the arteries in the brain and spinal cord). CNSV left me with many, many symptoms including brain lesions and a stroke at the onset of the disease at just 40 years old. Brain lesions are not tumors; they basically have the same symptoms. Lesions are when brain tissue is dead. Tumors are an additional entity added to the brain. Although benign, I still had to be given a drug that was comparable to chemotherapy for Cancer patients. This drug I was just shy of allergic to and it caused me to have many, many more problems.

I spent the most part of the next 2 ½ years in bed. In that first year alone I was prescribed 26 different prescriptions with also having 7 typed pages of symptoms. I lost most of my balance (something like having an inner ear infection) and was put on a cane during that first year. I was finally told in 2003, after seeing numerous doctors that prescribed numerous tests that they thought I was in remission. This after spending that entire 2 ½ years without even 1 week going by that I did not have a test done or see another doctor. That was nearly 4 years ago and I had been fighting to get back to a more normal life where I could stand for more than 10 minutes without having to get my head down.

In 2005, I threw my cane on the dashboard of our moving truck to never use it again. I continued to recover in baby steps. As much as I am able, Jesus has been my constant companion. We also joined a church in Bradenton last summer, Journey Assembly of God (www.journeyassembly.org) and my husband and I have continued to grow in the Lord and just love our fellowship there.

Early in 2007, I went to a class at my church called “Free to Grow”. The first item that was shared was *Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” And, a light bulb went off; I realized that I’d been living too much in ‘one day at a time’, so much so that I’d forgotten His promises to me.

Later that day I went to a celebration at my brother’s condo in Christian Retreat. He had a word from the Lord for me (which was not a normal thing for him), that I had to be at the Billy Burke meeting on Thursday night. That God would meet me there. I came home and looked up Billy Burke on the Internet and read of the healings at his services. I was ecstatic! When I was a child in the 60’s, I read and was told all about Kathryn Kuhlman by my folks who were in the healing ministry (The Order of St. Luke and Faith at Work).  I also had my kidneys healed after reading a book called "Let's Believe" by Agnes Sanford.  I was elated to find someone from that era.

So, I waited for Thursday night (also waiting to be healed) and then met my brother to go over to the meeting. As we walked in and people were singing, I felt 3 cracks in my neck (I’d been in pain all day) and the pain left. This was even before I’d seen Billy Burke (of course, I know the Lord inhabits the praises of His people – and there was already an anointing on the venue). When it came time for prayer, I had my head bowed and was hearing a buzzing in my brain. I waited, rather impatiently, for Billy to say the words “brain lesions”, then I ran for the front of the sanctuary. I was knocked to the floor by God's awesome power even before I could reach Billy Burke. Billy asked me if I realized that he said “brain lesions” (lesions instead of the common tumors) and yes I had noticed. Strange thing was that I’d been calling them tumors for several years due to being tired of explaining the difference. I knew and it didn’t really matter if someone else did. God knew and He told Billy. And I knew the lesions were gone!

I went back to the conference on Saturday night, told the story, and was touched again! My step-son and husband came. My step-son was slain under the power of the Holy Spirit.  My husband was also there that night and I saw his hands in the air for the first time ever.

I had a class on Sunday morning at 9:00 at my church but left a little early to head for Christian Retreat. I arrived late for the service. After turning off of the main road onto the road Christian Retreat is on, I was only able to go about 25 mph due to the cars in front of me. Two cars in front of me passed an extremely slow car and I was unable to pass due to oncoming traffic. The slow car then pulled over to let me pass. It was just like everyone cleared the way for me to get to Christian Retreat. I was amazed!

I made it to Christian Retreat just a few minutes late and looked straight into my brother’s face on the opposite side of the jam packed auditorium. (Things were falling together just like puzzle pieces). Before Billy Burke was introduced and we were singing hymns, The Old Rugged Cross being sung. (This had been a favorite of mine since I was a kid. The last time I’d heard it was when I was in prison and ended up having to be practically carried out of the chapel due to the vision I had of Jesus on the cross. I cried on and off that entire day.) The Lord spoke to me and told me to pay attention to the words that were displayed, which I did. He then told me that was my cry as a child and He’d listened.

After Billy Burke spoke, people lined the isles to the front to reach him. I got in line to actually do no more than thank him for his obedience to God. As I stood in line, I was right next to the stage steps and the cameraman. I realized that I was wasting time just standing there, so I turned and got on my knees on the steps. To make a long story short, I ended up on my back 3 times, being slain in the Spirit and 3 times I tried to get up and went right back down again. I just decided to make use of the time in prayer. I heard that still small voice telling me that I didn’t need Billy Burke to be the point of contact as the others did, that I knew where God’s strength was. I stood in the gap for my mother and her boyfriend. I stood in the gap for my husband, too. I did finally get the chance to thank Billy Burke. I also saw myself as a cheerleader, lying there praising and thanking God for the work He was doing through Billy with all those people.

God also showed me that He was giving me a fresh anointing. I knew that He had anointed me in prison. (He’s shown me since that I have a ministry to the brokenhearted of this world and to that child inside us all that is hurting in so many people.)

I am climbing steps (2 flights) up and down without holding on to the railing, and not having to take one step at a time. I can spin around in circles with my arms out like when I was a kid. I just immediately felt different, stronger. I can pick something up off the floor without feeling like I’m going to dive headfirst. All the things that took balance and didn’t rely on my physical strength, were totally changed at the moment of healing. I believe that if I had an MRI, they’d find no lesions at all! I’ve used my step ladder. Other parts of me are now getting stronger again! I’ve lost weight. Even bones changed in my face that had moved from the Decadron. And I'm expecting to see more and more change as God's healing presence permeates my life!

---Update 2013. I am still recovering from that dreadful illness and God has shown me even more about living a life healthfully. I have posted many other blog entries sharing about His teaching. We went off of all wheat 9+ months ago which there is another post about. This was a big, big healing for me since God has removed most of the pain I had for 30+ years…HALLELUJAH! Please be sure to keep reading!

Friday, July 2, 2010

First Fully Written Awesome Good Morning Devotional - 2009

Good Morning! The Lord woke me up with a song this morning like He does many mornings but this one I know I was to share…it’s called “Still Calls me Son”. I heard it a day or two ago and it had some impact then, but not like this morning. To explain: My mother was moved back to a different assisted living facility yesterday. I spent 6 hours with her getting her packed and ready to move and then moving her. It was a long, hard day and I was tired to the point of tears but I feel a certain sense of devotion to my mother. I put her through so very much when I was growing up. She prayed me through years and years of accidents some of which you could tell should have been of certain death! I don’t know how to thank God enough for her and what she did for me and yet some of us tend to ignore God when look at how we’ve gone against and even run from Him. He is our Father and has loved us with an *un-waning love. What all have we done to Him, put Him through, persecuted Him with, run from Him for, and on and on? Yet He still calls us son/daughter!

Still Calls Me Son
by John Waller

I drug his name through godless places
And I’ve known shame that no child of his should know
I’ve seen pain on broken faces
Beyond all thought of hope
I was just too far from home
Still I always wondered when I closed my eyes

After all I’ve done
Could he run to me?
Would he kiss my face?
Could he even look at me?
After where I’ve been
should he take me back?
I would understand
I’ve disgraced him
But it would be amazing
If he still calls me son

With nothing left for me to bring him
I left my pride and turned my heart toward home
I saw my home on the horizon
And from a distance
I saw my Father
Watching for his own with forgiving eyes

After all I’d done
He just ran to me
Then he kissed my face
He would not let go of me
After where I’d been
He just welcomed me
I didn’t understand
But he put his robe on me
It was so amazing
That he still called me son

One day as I breathe my last
And I know my days on earth have ended
When every hour is spent
I will close my eyes in amazement
And I’ll hear angels
They’ll be singing

Amazing Grace
Cause he will run to me
And he will kiss my face
He will not let go of me
After where I’ve been
He will welcome me
I won’t understand
How he’ll put his robe on me
It will be amazing
That he’ll still call me son

Amazing grace how sweet the sound
When he calls me son
I once was lost but now I’m found
Cause he calls me Son

 *I write by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. Now and then a word may not be readily recognizable to me and/or readily used by me, this is what does help call attention to the fact that it is most definitely from the Holy Spirit! I tried to change this word but sensed His abruptness in me keeping it so I looked it up online and found that this word with this exact prefix was available at merriam-webster. com but for $29.95 a year which I don’t believe I or anyone else wants to pay to find this exact definition. Maybe some of you have the definition in a dictionary at home but I do not. The definition for waning is available at the hyperlink to follow if anyone is interested!

And we know it is un-waning or not waning! I, in no way, want to come across sounding superior to the others who are receiving this. I’m just a servant, (**“But Jesus taught that a person must be a servant if he wants to become great. Even Jesus, the Son of God, came to this world to serve. He came to give His life to pay for the salvation of many people. Anyone who wants to follow Jesus must serve Him.”), sharing in a free gift that is available to all of you, too…because He is our Father and a trinity in Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit! He is our Helper: **http://breathoflifeag.com/followingchrist/sfamily1.html Randy Hurst is the author of a book called “The Helper” which was given to the congregation in the church I attend and well worth reading if you are given the chance. This link is to more explanation written by Randy Hurst.