He is making perfect sense out of a perfectly senseless, messed up life!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

That Song Got To Me

I truly wanted to write something this week. Being Christmas week (which I love) I just felt that I had to write something about Jesus. Well, this isn’t a long writing but I believe this little story may touch some of you as it touched me a couple of years ago.
I ended up at the hospital having x-rays on my left hand due to severe pain I’d just woken up with a week or so before. I left there in a rank mood, feeling sorry for myself. I had just gotten the CD, X-Christmas in the mail that day before leaving the house so I had decided to listen to it on the way there. As I left that hospital this song, “Mary Did You Know” came on in a rendition by the band, Kutless. The words in this rendition are so very clear. It came to the line “When you kissed your little baby, you kissed the face of God?” and that was my AWE moment. I’d never thought of it that way before. And, I knew God was speaking to me through that song to remind me that Jesus was the reason for the season. And, I wept!
Please share in this song with me:

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

We are ALL Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

I awoke around 2 am, knowing that I was supposed to write something about how I've learned not to judge others but I prayed for more sleep. I woke up again and again with this scripture “Judge not, that ye be not judged.” (Matt. 7:1) going through my mind.

Some time ago I had a quote on a plaque on my wall and I’m not sure where it came from but I’ve remembered it for as long as I can remember and have always thought it to be true. I tried to find out who wrote it but can find nothing more than it is an American Indian Proverb - Never criticize a man until you’ve walked a mile in his moccasins. If this is a hard thing for you to believe then I would recommend a book to you - The Search For Significance: Seeing Your True Worth Through God's Eyes by Robert S. McGee. I have taken a couple of classes on this book and through it God taught me more than I learned in nine years of regular psychologist visits. We are shaped by our perceptions and we see others by those perceptions, also.

Earlier this year I know that God started speaking to my heart and telling me that it’s not always about me. That I needed to realize that disapproving looks that I thought I was getting weren’t always about me that many, many things shaped whatever I saw on an individual’s face that I saw looking at me, which reflects the above proverb. All that is past may be for our good or to our detriment, which is for God to decide as He created us. I prayed for wisdom to learn to put it all behind me. To rid me of all of that baggage that caused me to not see people through God’s eyes. He led me to a class called **“Walking in the Light” (with use of The Cleansing Seminar Study Guide) which helped me to shed those pounds of past that shaped those disapproving looks!

And, I’ve truly learned to see that we are all *Psalm 139:14 “…fearfully and wonderfully made;…”. God created each one of us to fulfill a certain purpose (Please read 1 Cor. 12: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Cor.%2012&version=NKJV).

I’ve been learning this for years. Why it takes some of us so much longer to truly learn something, only God knows. I’ll always remember an event in my life that happened when I worked in patient registration in the emergency room at a multi county hospital back in Ohio. I had revered the nurse’s station where I’d seen the doctors’ and nurses’ running in and out of since I was a child there with my many broken bones or torn up knees. I set it high upon a pedestal. I carried it to this day when I worked in registration. The charge nurse came out and asked me if she could borrow the 3-hole punch. Within a few minutes she returned with it, exclaiming that she could not figure out how to use it and could someone help her. I thought how I could work a 3-hole punch in my sleep or with my eyes closed and in my mind’s eye it wandered to 1 Cor. 12. And, that pedestal disappeared that day. This is one of the best lessons that I learned. I went onto working with quite a few doctors who definitely worked hard enough through years of schooling to earn the right to be respected with the name of doctor before their name. But, I also learned that they put their pants on one leg at a time like the rest of us and that they liked being befriended as the human beings that they were.

God created each one of us to fulfill a certain purpose.

I will always remember that season of my life when God chose for me to work in the emergency room. One of the main reasons I cherished this memory so is that I directly saw every employee treated as a team member -- From the housekeeper that cleaned up after the treatment of the patients by the doctors and nurses to the doctors and nurses themselves. I spoke with nurses several times who I thought were having such a horrendous night (time and again) and they thought we women in registration must be having an awful night. Each person in the team was a necessary, intricate part that it could not be without (referring back to *1 Cor. 12 :15-19 “and If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I am not of the body,” is it therefore not of the body? And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I am not of the body,” is it therefore not of the body? If the whole body were an eye, where would be the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where would be the smelling? But now God has set the members, each one of them, in the body just as He pleased. And if they were all one member, where would the body be?”)

*James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” As He has given to me, also.

We are all fearfully and wonderfully made by our creator and worthy of being given the chance to be seen through His eyes!

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. This is so very encouraging to me to keep writing. I pray you will keep coming back. I totally believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you?

** Pastor Timothy Davis
Cleansing The Church Ministries
PO Box 8326
Mission Hills, Ca 91346

A little share from me: Premise of my artwork: “Most of my artwork is inspired by our Creator's Complexity in that He created each one of us so unfathomable that one has to look many times over to see every aspect of each and every one of us! I appreciate that uniqueness and value those who dare to be who God created them to be! I hope you enjoy my art and appreciate that I also include a bit of whimsy as me being who I was created to be! I don't expect you to love it all but I hope you find something that you can appreciate. Thank you for looking!”

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Today is our 20th Anniversary - Memories

Here I am awake. I’ve been awake since about 5:30 and it’s almost 6:00 now but I knew that I had to write. Why else would I be wanting to get out of bed when it’s 37 degrees outside (and in Florida that’s colder than you even know) and it’s my 20th wedding anniversary? Yep, that’s 20 years! The most amazing part of that, that I believe I’m supposed to share is that my husband and I only spent just 9 weeks dating and only knew each other for about a week longer. If you put your relationship in God’s hands and He wants you together, He’ll get you together.

I was only released from prison 3/29/90 and working temporary jobs. I so vividly remember the events that surrounded our meeting and eventual marriage. I’d thought that I had been placed by the temporary service in a near perfect position with full time hours doing data entry until after the New Year (this was the end of September). And, the money was good for that time, besides. I worked only one day and had plans to spend an evening with friends. I turned the corner onto their street, sneezed, and within a few minutes I was so sick that I had to leave and go home. I remained quite ill over the weekend, then tried to go back to work on Monday and they sent me home. I was just so sick. And, to my chagrin the place where I’d been working said that they no longer wanted me to work there. The temporary service, then, decided that I needed the rest of the week off to get well. I was quite distraught as I lived alone and I so felt the need for money to be coming in on a regular basis. I got better and was reassigned on the following Monday (Hallelujah) but was assigned to another factory position, which I was hoping to bypass as I’d already had one factory position that left me coming home as black as night from a filthy job where I only got a 15 minute lunch as voted on by a union. But, I needed the money no matter where I was placed and this was all in God’s hands.

I was placed at the beginning of the factory line and my future spouse was at the end, but we had breaks together. I was (at that time) already engaged to the man that I’d gotten in trouble with whose mother played a major role in my being led back to the Lord prior to entering prison. This man was 7 years younger than me and I was only 30. His immaturity showed as he broke up with me periodically for a few days but always came running back. I was also living in and redecorating the inside of a house that was to be our wedding present. Joe and I had already met when this man decided once again to break it off, sighting that he thought he was too young to get married. I was quite tired of this happening every few months so I accepted Joe’s advances. We had a mutual friend that he hadn’t seen in some time so I offered to take Joe over to see him. We hit it off and Joe asked me out for the following Friday. That first date was on 10/1/90.

Joe didn’t seem like my type at first and I’d wanted to take things slowly but we hit it off, even talking on the telephone to the wee hours of the morning many nights. I remember, quite vividly, talking to the Lord about him. I surrendered to God’s will. I told Him that if I was supposed to fall out of love with this other man and fall in love with Joe, then so be it. And, I don’t even know when it happened, but here we are this 20 years later. Everything fell into line.

We attended a wedding of one of my closer friends at that time, which got us romanticizing the whole being married thing. When we told my folks that we wanted to get married as soon as possible I thought my dad would go ballistic. His jaw went sideways as I’d only seen happen 3 or 4 times when he’d been the maddest ever. So, I took it to the Lord in prayer and the next day my dad was planning our reception. I’d remembered my oldest brother (minister) had told me that when I found someone who God wanted me to marry that I would have my parents full approval. Well, this was a definite miracle that I will never forget. I also remember calling my other brother’s wife in Florida to share this with them and came upon no opposition what so ever. I even questioned this and she knew I’d been previously engaged several times before but hadn’t gone through with it so this must’ve been right. All the events just fell in line. All the doors opened and we ended up married on 12/8/90 with 11 family members present and then had a full wedding on 1/26/91.

To top it off, we found out after a few years that I was unable to have children. Joe had a son from a previous marriage who we ended up getting custody of in 1999 when he was 13 years old. At that time, Brian wasn’t living in a Christian home. Brian is now 24 years old. He lives about an hour north of us and has been involved in church, singing on praise teams and gets mad when I called him my step-son stating that I know he’s my kid. Even though we have our struggles, as all families do, I couldn’t be happier. The things that they both have stuck with me through in my life definitely shows me that this entire endeavor was God’s plan.

And, many nights I awake several times with this tremendous song of spiritual warfare in my dreams: (here is a wonderful video portrayal, too - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmxUpDmvAfs). It is a reminder to me to fight alongside God against forces that would have Joe and I break up. That it isn’t easy especially in this world today, to make it in any marriage yet for 20 years! And, I know, because He orchestrated our marriage, He blessed it. I have placed our marriage in His hands over and over again over the years. And, I will stand my ground!

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. This is so very encouraging to me to keep writing. I pray you will keep coming back. I totally believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you?

Thursday, December 2, 2010

A Must Read Devotional Share + my commentary

Good Morning! The following devotional struck me so profoundly this morning that I shared it in the “Notes” section on Facebook (where you can you find devotionals shared by me almost daily) and I wanted to share it with all of you. I know I was a person who was raised up with some verbal abuse and was told that I couldn’t do anything right and that I’d never amount to anything, well, this devotional is the direct opposite of that. When people tell me I can't do it, He tells me I can! While in prison I repeated over and over again, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Phil. 4:13) and I’ve used it many, many times since! He made each one of us for something special (*Psalm 139:14a "I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;") and He will not let anyone tell Him what to do.

1 Corinthians 12 – Here is the link to this in The Message version, which is the language of today. You will not regret reading this. Exerpt 1 Cor. 12:18a "I want you to think about how all this makes you more significant, not less.":


“The Great Reversal by Rick Warren

"He has displayed his power with many mighty deeds but has scattered the people who are proud and think they are the great ones. He has brought down mighty rulers from their thrones but has raised up the humble! He has filled the hungry with good things but sent the rich away with nothing!" Luke 1:50-53 (NCV)

"God says the people who think they have it all together are going to fail, and the people who think they don't have it together are going to succeed."

What is humility? Humility is when you say, "I'm going with God's plan for my life, because my plan isn't as good." And the Bible says, "Humble yourself before the Lord, and he will lift you up" (James 4:10 NIV).

In Luke 1:50-53, Mary says, "He has displayed his power with many mighty deeds but has scattered the people who are proud and think they are the great ones. He has brought down mighty rulers from their throne but has raised up the humble. He has filled the hungry with good things but sent the rich away with nothing" (NCV).
Do you see the great reversal here? God says the people who think they have it all together are going to fail, and the people who think they don't have it together are going to succeed. Those who trust God are the ones who are going to make it in the long term.

Who or what are you trusting? Do you put more emphasis on what God's Word says or what the celebrities on TMZ say? How about the athletes in your fantasy league? Or the financial wizards of Wall Street and the stock prices? None of the things our culture says is important will matter five years from now. But those who trust God humbly and know his Word are going to make it in the long-term, because that's what lasts.

Mary knew the Word of God enough that she could quote ten verses from the Old Testament and make a song out of it. Do you know enough Scripture like that? If you want God's blessing on your life, you need to get into the Word and read it, study it, and start memorizing it. “

If you are blessed by this blog entry, please leave me a comment as it totally encourages me to write more. I will appreciate it even more than you know and even consider it as a special gift from you! Thank you & may God bless your coming and your going!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Thanksgiving – a lesson well learned!

I awoke this morning thinking that I should share some kind of thanksgiving writing with my blog followers. I know that many of you are from countries other than the USA and are not celebrating Thanksgiving today, but I do believe that all of us, no matter what our life is like, have something to be thankful for today so I believe that every day can be a Thanksgiving day.

I do, truly, love you all with the love of Christ as He has so given me the grace to do so. I, by no means, wish to discount what you each may be going through. *1 Thess. 5:18 (NKJV) “in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.“

As I awoke and thought about this, this true story from my life that I’ve wanted to share came to mind. Between 1992 and 2001, I worked at a hospital in Ohio. For the first four years, my main job was in the emergency room. I officially worked through the admitting office but on third shift there were two of us on duty and we worked in the emergency room, registering the emergency room patients, while admitting mostly emergency room patients. I also picked up hours on other shifts through the emergency room. That was sure some job that I will never forget.

We had just horrendous nights. There were nights that we’d go the entire shift without even getting a bathroom break. And, amidst this mayhem, my co-workers would many times be tired to the point of tears. That is why I’ve been so anxious to share my experiences there because through them God surely kept me from tears. For one, please check out my blog post about prayer (http://somethingbyjuliana.blogspot.com/2010/06/power-of-prayer-two-miraculous-accounts.html) and, the way I learned to handle all that I saw I’ll reflect upon in couple of ways. At first I so thought that I just couldn’t handle seeing all the pain but it came to mind for me to start praying for the people that came into be treated. This ALWAYS helped me in return.

Then, I learned to think of this: that no matter how bad of a night I was having, that most of them were probably having a worse night.

I can honestly share that in the more than 22 years since I rededicated my life to the Lord, I do not know of even one day where I have ceased to thank and praise Him. I just always have known in my heart that even if I don’t feel like praising Him or giving Him thanks that He rewards this surrender. The act of doing it makes me feel more like doing it. I’ve always heard that God inhabits the praises of His people but I didn’t know the exact reference so I did a search for it at Google.com which I have shared the link below if you would like to know more in regards to this.


*Phil. 4:6
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;”

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

God's Comfort - Psalm 27

I woke up at 2:54 am, then again at 3:21 and I gave up and got up. Lately our pastor told us that if we had trouble sleeping that we should get up and read the Bible and Satan will let us go to sleep (I loved that). So, I came to my computer to read the Bible and post a few scriptures on Facebook.

I looked up a few familiar scriptures in "The Message", a version that had been introduced to me lately by my teacher in my ladies' class on Sunday mornings before church. This version puts things in today's words. I still love the New King James Version but I like comparing scriptures. I came to my favorite Psalm, Psalm 27, which God used in me to keep me afloat in 1988 after being arrested and rededicating my life to Him. I was so distraught that I sat at my desk in tears, daily. I felt like my world was crumbling and I was going off the deep end! In the early hours of this morning, I read this and cried again! So profound considering how God has changed me so drastically in this 22 years since. I can so see it as a prayer that I prayed those 22 years ago.

*Psalm 27 (The Message)

Psalm 27
A David Psalm
1 Light, space, zest— that's God!
So, with him on my side I'm fearless,
afraid of no one and nothing.

2 When vandal hordes ride down
ready to eat me alive,
Those bullies and toughs
fall flat on their faces.

3 When besieged,
I'm calm as a baby.
When all hell breaks loose,
I'm collected and cool.

4 I'm asking God for one thing,
only one thing:
To live with him in his house
my whole life long.
I'll contemplate his beauty;
I'll study at his feet.

5 That's the only quiet, secure place
in a noisy world,
The perfect getaway,
far from the buzz of traffic.

6 God holds me head and shoulders
above all who try to pull me down.
I'm headed for his place to offer anthems
that will raise the roof!
Already I'm singing God-songs;
I'm making music to God.

7-9 Listen, God, I'm calling at the top of my lungs:
"Be good to me! Answer me!"
When my heart whispered, "Seek God,"
my whole being replied,
"I'm seeking him!"
Don't hide from me now!

9-10 You've always been right there for me;
don't turn your back on me now.
Don't throw me out, don't abandon me;
you've always kept the door open.
My father and mother walked out and left me,
but God took me in.

11-12 Point me down your highway, God;
direct me along a well-lighted street;
show my enemies whose side you're on.
Don't throw me to the dogs,
those liars who are out to get me,
filling the air with their threats.

13-14 I'm sure now I'll see God's goodness
in the exuberant earth.
Stay with God!
Take heart. Don't quit.
I'll say it again:
Stay with God.

And, the *New King James Version:

Psalm 27
A Psalm of David.
1 The LORD is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When the wicked came against me
To eat up my flesh,
My enemies and foes,
They stumbled and fell.
3 Though an army may encamp against me,
My heart shall not fear;
Though war may rise against me,
In this I will be confident.

4 One thing I have desired of the LORD,
That will I seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the LORD
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the LORD,
And to inquire in His temple.
5 For in the time of trouble
He shall hide me in His pavilion;
In the secret place of His tabernacle
He shall hide me;
He shall set me high upon a rock.

6 And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me;
Therefore I will offer sacrifices of joy in His tabernacle;
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the LORD.

7 Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice!
Have mercy also upon me, and answer me.
8 When You said, “Seek My face,”
My heart said to You, “Your face, LORD, I will seek.”
9 Do not hide Your face from me;
Do not turn Your servant away in anger;
You have been my help;
Do not leave me nor forsake me,
O God of my salvation.
10 When my father and my mother forsake me,
Then the LORD will take care of me.

11 Teach me Your way, O LORD,
And lead me in a smooth path, because of my enemies.
12 Do not deliver me to the will of my adversaries;
For false witnesses have risen against me,
And such as breathe out violence.
13 I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the LORD
In the land of the living.

14 Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!

Find your favorites in all different versions at http://www.biblegateway.com/

Saturday, November 13, 2010

James 1:5 – My Answer

*James 1:5 (NKJV) “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”

The Lord knows that I’ve been trying to analyze my life in my head over and over and over and over some more! That is my ADD brain, always going seemingly 90 miles an hour, going and going! I was teased at work in Ohio that I was like the “Energizer Bunny”. And, on top of that, many times, I’ve asked the Lord for wisdom that I might comprehend and share it with others. I’ve even prayed for His words to share this as it is not easy for me to explain. I have shared it with one friend, but she knows my quirks and I’m sure she half uses her own analytical mind to figure out what I mean! So, if any of you read this and have trouble understanding it, please do not hesitate to pray for wisdom and/or to message me, if you’d like!

It is my belief that if I’m able to share my peculiarities with you that it may put some understanding into your life’s meaning. Life is just “weird” and I was surprised to see how weird mine was, but still quite thankful to God for saving me in this way. I think, it may be more readily understandable if I take you through it a bit more chronologically.

I was adopted at 18 days old. I was told that I spent the first 18 days in a hospital. In 1960 when I was born, not much was known about bonding. So, I started off supposedly thinking that I was born to be alone (rejected and abandoned at birth). My adoptive mother told me that I only cried when I was hungry, which was all the time (10 lb. 8 oz. bouncing baby, too). I also didn’t like being held. Wow, did all of this make sense for someone with intimacy issues, weight problems, and a nearly life-long acceptance problem!

Thank the Lord for His leading me to a class on a book called “The Search for Significance: Seeing Your True Worth Through God’s Eyes” by Robert S. McGee (
http://www.amazon.com/Search-Significance-Seeing-Worth-Through/dp/0849944244). I went through a class on this book two times and would do it again. I learned things through this book that I wasn’t taught in nine years with a Psychologist. I would highly recommend getting this book. If you E-Bay, I’ve seen it on www.ebay.com very inexpensively. To tell you the truth, this helped take care of most of the wisdom regarding my life, except for why was I called a right brain person when it seemed to me that I was left brained and so mathematical in my make up? …and I was quite confused about this!

After reading this, I see it is more correct in thinking that I was for a time, more dominated by my left brain. To explain: When I was ten years old, my folks were told by my art teacher that they should encourage my art due to a recent painting I had done. This teacher saw potential in me. My folks didn’t believe that being an artist was the proper way to go so they discouraged this (although, mother being a piano teacher, I took 11 years of piano lessons). Only more recently did I put together all that happened at my age of 10 years old. My father started drinking regularly and so did I. I also took more and more mathematical oriented classes and only basic art that I had to take for credit. I had succumbed to peer-pressure and the direction of my parents.

(Sadly, even though a crafter from a small child, I never did discover my love of art until after I rededicated my life to the Lord in 1988).

In 2001, when the illness I’d contracted became very evident, I typed an estimated 120 words per minute. I had taken on the job training in radiological transcription so I could work part time hours making similar money and go back to school to become a Paramedic. I loved medicine! And, due to the predominance of my left brain, I’d worked in the social services doing primarily left brained work for the most part of 25 years.

The Illness: On January 24, 2001, an MRI of the brain was conducted and brain lesions were found. The largest (2 cm.) lesion was in my left frontal lobe (the left cerebral cortex). Among other things, my mathematical skills were extremely stifled for more than two years. Subsequent happenings were that my right cerebral cortex is now dominant and growing with my IQ becoming even higher than before the illness.

One thing I remember my psychologist telling me back in the early part of the 1980’s (when I was in my early 20’s) is that I was a right brained person (partially misunderstood by both he and I). Here I was in professions where I used primarily my left brain, but in many ways I showed that my right brain should be dominant (no wonder I was confused most of my life). And, also, he had explained to me that right brained people tended to have more emotional problems (bingo)…i.e., Van Gogh cutting off his ear.

Back to James 1:5 and praying for wisdom. I fully believe, now, that God kept me alive during those years of extreme alcohol and drug usage combined with severe emotional problems. He kept my predominance in my left brain to keep me from “jumping”. To keep me from going over the edge! For those of you who have not read my book or some of my previous writings, I experienced several suicide attempts with subsequent hospitalizations for depression and on and on, which led to the nine years of weekly psychologist appointments. All of the above led to my arrest for selling drugs with rededication to the Lord and final imprisonment (where I learned to know Him).

(And, I came out of prison in March of 1990 and was married in December of 1990 (still happily married to the same man)).

I realized my love for art, but at this time I was 30 years old and had only been trained for office work (Business Administration/Marketing in college) so that is what I continued to pursue.

Now, I know why my reactions to art were so extreme! Joe took me to several art exhibits, which truly touched my soul. As my love of art deepened I learned to do faux painting in my own home. My love of art was released in my decorating (and a little in needlework design and implementation). During a trip to Chicago and an exhibit at the Art Institute there I saw Renoir’s Two Sisters (On the Terrace) from across a room and by the time I’d walked over to it I had tears streaming down my face.

In 1995, I was struck down with complications from a fall from a roof in 1980 where I crushed a vertebra. It had calcified and was pressing into my spinal cord causing weakness of internal organs and the outward appearance of near loss of the use of my left leg. I was told if I did not have an extremely experimental surgery that I would surely be in a wheelchair in diapers in the very near future. Almost needless to say, I had the surgery. I was told that I would be off work for 6-9 months and in a body brace for 6.5 months. I was back working in 4.5 months in the brace. I learned, then, that God may let you go through something but He may still bring about healing more quickly.

I knew in my heart at that time that I was supposed to go back to work part-time and pursue something more creative on a part-time basis. But, I did not. I did slow down a little, but I went right back to working a part-time position but picking up more hours on the same or other shifts at the hospital. And, also back to the decorating or little needlework jobs on the side while watching TV.

There are many, many things I’ve learned from the illness that befell me in 2001…Countless! I can look back now, these 9 years later as I am still going through recovery and say that I wouldn’t change a thing! I endured with a much, much deeper relationship with our dear heavenly Papa! I could not put down in words all the ways that He has touched my heart and taught me things I did not know! One thing for sure is, that I am now that right brained person that He created me to be. I am an artist and a writer and I live in one of the most beautiful areas on earth (please check out my other writings). I fully believe that the world disabled me but God enabled me for so much more than I was doing before. And, with this…I’ll leave you with my future blog entries to read!

If you want to find out about your right/left brain predominance please check out the following link (Please note that this test is primarily geared towards artists – you can do a right brain vs. left brain search at
http://www.google.com/ and find a test for non-artists.

I had to laugh when I took this. My findings were: "You answered 16 items out of 20 as right brained. Your score is 80%. Your right brain is strongly dominant. "

What made me laugh even more was that nearly all the questions that I answered as left brain were primarily effected by my husband. *2 Corinthians 8:13-15 (NKJV) “For I do not mean that others should be eased and you burdened; but by an equality, that now at this time your abundance may supply their lack, that their abundance also may supply your lack—that there may be equality. As it is written, “He who gathered much had nothing left over, and he who gathered little had no lack.”

May God bless you even in some small way from reading this blog entry. Please share either in the comments below, or message me at:

*2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NKJV) “And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Three Crosses and a Dove - 2010

A few weeks ago a major miracle in my life from a long, long time ago came to mind that I had not shared with most of my friends since. I was a bit shocked that I’d neglected this so I prayed for God’s reminder through His Holy Spirit. I even asked for Him to give me something to help me remember. (One residual side effect from the CNS Vasculitis is memory loss so I’ve learned to pray for God to be my memory. Trusting in that is how I get by! I have to rest in the idea that if I don’t remember, that God is taking care of it.)

Just a couple of weeks later, I stopped by a Christian bookstore and there sat my reminder in the clearance section. It wasn’t exact. I would have to use some of my creativity to make it work but it was inexpensive (right up my alley). For $5.00 I took it home and began my look for what I needed to make it work. I found one other part on E-Bay for 99 cents (actually paid nothing due to an E-Bay coupon for more than a dollar). And, I already had some sterling silver wire and a cord to hang it from.

This memory is of a time before I fully understood what an awesome relationship I could have with my creator. It was during an extremely rocky time in my life. It happened before I knew His peace; John 14:27 is my favorite Bible verse “Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” *After my arrest in 1988 and eventual rededication of my life to the Lord, my co-conspirator and I were out for a drive. He had rededicated his life, also. We spent many of our days together to follow (before prison) in God’s word or riding around, listening to Christian music. This time I remember listening to Petra’s song “Not of This World”. And, we looked up into the sky and saw just as clear as the nose on my face, three crosses and a dove in the clouds. We fully believed that it was God’s promise to us of His peace. Please see the photo below of my new reminder that I now keep hanging from my rear-view mirror. (Yesterday, I took a mini-break at the Sunshine Skyway’s rest area and noticed that I couldn’t find a more perfect place to take a photo for this writing.)

God has brought me to Florida (James 1:17 “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.”) and given me so much of His peace that I can get through my days so much easier. Life isn’t perfect, of course. God gives me His peace. I once shared with my 87 year old mother who is in a nursing home that I could be sitting in a pile of dung, still praising the Lord, because of HIS PEACE. This world gives NO PEACE! And, He gave me a loving reminder of this and I’m sharing it with you!

I would like to share that if any of you ever have any questions, want to share something, or would just like to have someone to chat with, please don’t hesitate to message me! If you have a question that I can’t answer, I’ll find the answer for you! I welcome any and all inquires! If one of my blog posts particularly touches, please comment to me – I can use the encouragement…I can always use encouragement. Even though my faith is strong, I am still merely a human who has been given a gift in writing.

God bless you all!

*For more information please see my book “Beyond to Better Things” available at
http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Better-Things-Tricia-Marie/dp/160703252X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1228308095&sr=8-1 and/or you can read more of an explanation in my blog entry entitled “Testimony Written for Billy Burke Ministries” at http://somethingbyjuliana.blogspot.com/2010/07/testimony-written-for-billy-burke.html
UPDATE:  Just thought to share a song that was my most memorable from this time in my life!
May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

Friday, November 5, 2010

Volunteering - My First Day Back in the World - A Reflection - 2010

I just had my first day out in the world volunteering since I was disabled. January 28, 2001 was my last full day of work. I realized what a different perspective I had and thought that I should share it with all of you.

The other day I sat and talked with my husband about my art as he looked at my first encaustic painting which I hadn’t yet posted photos of to Facebook (left).   He actually liked my painting and was discussing with me about sharing it with others. He wondered how I might find out more info about exhibits, the art world, etc… in the area (moved here in 2005). I told him that it had crossed my mind several times about checking further into volunteering at the Sarasota Art Center. (I’d e-mailed and found out that they did use volunteers a few years ago but hadn’t felt strong enough yet to look into it further). This is one way that I truly have proven that God speaks to me time and time again. Something that I’ve been contemplating about, my husband comes up with a question that falls right into the whole concept (we work together as God intended that way). How better to find out more about the art world but to jump right into the middle of it?

The following Tuesday, I had a doc’s appt. in Sarasota so I decided to stop by the Art Center after and to my pleasant surprise the volunteer coordinator was available to see me. We spoke for a good half-hour or longer and when I left I’d been given two dates to volunteer.

I was ecstatic! I cried! I have volunteered through my church actually quite a few times in the last few years. That was amazing, too. But, this was my first time back in the world after almost 10 years. What an extraordinary feeling!

On Wednesday morning I volunteered for the first time. I loved it. I was there with 4 other volunteers doing a mailing. We gabbed and worked on just easy, trivial stuff. Most of them just wanting to get out of the house for a bit. I felt right at home.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

“...He will give you the desires of your heart” - 2010

*Psalm 37:4-5 “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.”

These verses have always been a couple of my favorites just trusting that if the rest of God’s Word is true that these must be true, also. These verses helped give me a hope for the future first in knowing that He created me so He must know my heart and if I gave my desires to Him that He would cause them to happen. So He must’ve known how I would desire to live close to the water (Florida to be exact) for nearly my entire life.

When I married my husband (1990), he told me that he’d never live in Florida. So, I thought that I was giving up a dream but I loved him so much that I didn’t much care and I wholeheartedly knew that God’s design was in our marriage.

Here we are living in Florida for more than five years now. Not long after we moved here I was thinking about the fact that my husband had told me that he’d never live here and I was directed by the Holy Spirit back to these verses. And, one of the most miraculous things is that my husband brought me here to live.

Our marriage has been one of many trials and hardships. I’ve been through a couple of truly debilitating trials. The first one to be a ten hour spine surgery to repair the eventual impingement on my spinal cord caused by a fall off of a roof when I was twenty years old when I crushed a vertebra. The second of which I suffered from CNS Vasculitis and spent more than two years in bed but was healed of in 2007 (check out my blog entry of the testimony for Billy Burke Ministries). God has given me my dream. And, given us a much simpler life where the world may have disabled me but I believe that God has enabled me. We are happier than we've ever been at nearly 20 years of marriage, now. I prayed for years and years to become closer to Him and now I am free to spend hours upon hours every week, alone with Him in prayer, meditation, and His amazing, awesome inspiration in my writing and art - in this gorgeous land with water all around us. “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” I’m excited to see what more He has for me. What an awesome God I serve!

Area where we live:

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Journaling and Then Some - 2010

I guess today’s writing is really more of a journal to me than a writing for someone else to read. I actually read the definition of a journal last night (““a record of experiences, ideas, or reflections kept regularly for private use.” Excerpt from “A Heart Ablaze”” by John Bevere) and saw that most of my writings, although I’ve felt like they were journalling, were prayers to God (mostly just talking to God). Then I write about things for my blog that many other people merely journal. I’m just certain that there would be so much better reading out there if many of those people that journalled daily would share those ideas, experiences, and reflections with others. I believe the only reason why I actually started to share mine is out of obedience. I believe God showed me that there were others out there that needed to read them. When I got my first real comment (when my blog was at Christianblogspots.com) from a stranger, I bawled like a baby. And, I realized that just that one made all the writing worthwhile.

I fully realized this with writing my book, too. I’ve made a total of $3.85 in royalties, although I purchased almost 2 dozen and sold most of them myself. I made very little but the comments I’ve gotten from those who purchased them were worth much more to me than any monetary value! So, I’m working on writing a second book that is a culmination of short non-fiction writings by me and will be called “A Mosaic of Me”. I’m also working on the cover design. I don’t know how it’ll do, but that’s not actually my reason for writing it. Coming back once again to the scriptures that I believe wholeheartedly encompass the Christian life, Proverbs 3:5, 6 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”

With that I want to share more of how God spoke to me recently. I attended a class at my church last night based on a book and workbook “A Heart Ablaze” by John Bevere. First of all, every time I prayed or even mentioned this class in my head to God, I’d hear this still small voice say “you prayed for fire.” over and over and over again, this last month or so that the pastor has been advertising this class in church. As if He was saying ‘was there ever any doubt?’ or ‘why ask?”. So, I knew this class was for me. It’s twelve weeks of Wednesday night classes with extra reading and homework that I am overjoyed to commit to.

Part of our homework assignment for next week is “Take the time to write your own personal mission statement for A Heart Ablaze.” (From “A Heart Ablaze” by John Bevere). As I drove home, I thought and thought about this mission statement while listening to a CD in my car. The song came on “You Won’t Relent” by Misty Edwards. I heard the words:

“Come be a the fire inside of me
Come be the flame upon my heart
Come be a the fire inside of me
Until You and I are one [x4]”

Then, I went to bed last night and that song played in my head all night long while I dreamed over and over again how I was uniquely made for what He was having me do in my life. I believe He is calling me to not only being a writer but also a speaker. Right now with my still nominal disabilities it can be hard for me to see at times, but no matter what He keeps bringing that back to my heart and in last night’s dream He once again showed me how I was uniquely made for this position.

This song “You Won’t Relent” touches me deeply into my soul. And, I had my mission statement.

If you like this song, you might look back in my archives or comment to me if you can’t find at least one other writing about how God used it to speak to me.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Illegal or Unethical? - with Update - 2010

I’m here writing this today because I used some images that are not  unlawful but now I’m realizing that even though this has no legal ramifications, it’s still considered unethical. The whole thing feels rather stupid as in a whole I would be making less than $50 - $60. I don’t want anyone pointing a finger and wondering. That’s not the image I’m wanting to project. I believe I have integrity at this time in my life, and I didn’t for a whole lot of years when I was much younger. And that’s sure worth more to me than that $50-$60! I think I’ve actually learned something in the time it’s taken to sort out this whole mess that I thought I might pass on to the somewhat artsy readers of this blog. I’m certain in this day and age that putting our artwork out there in the public eye creates some amount of risk that we need to be prepared for, if only in our hearts. I realized that I need to look further into copyright protecting my work (

I also realized that I’m sure the unethical does exist. I was immediately willing to rid myself and my shop of anything unethical but I’m sure there are others that are not this willing.

To explain further; what happened was that I used to do quite a bit of decoupage. I had come up with the idea for decoupaged coasters because my son brought me a pile of 4”X4” tile that were thrown out at his work and I already had the rest of the materials to make them. I’ve used magazine images for years upon years in decoupage. The first being an old $2.75 end table that I got at an auction. While I was in bed (or recliner) I cut out a pile of magazine photos, mostly to keep myself busy. So, I used these on that table and put it in my bathroom. When we decided to move to Florida I sold it in a garage sale. (photo in upper right corner) After that I went on to sell a couple more on E-Bay, along with making a few pieces with also mosaic tops.

During this time, I became quite concerned about using these images so my husband and I combed through copyright law and found that these pieces would only come under scrutiny if they were derivative work – “de•riv•a•tive (from http://www.dictionary.com/)


1. derived.

2. not original; secondary.


3. something derived.

4. Also called derived form. Grammar . a form that has undergone derivation from another, as atomic from atom.

5. Chemistry . a substance or compound obtained from, or regarded as derived from, another substance or compound.

6. Also called differential quotient; especially British , differential coefficient. Mathematics . the limit of the ratio of the increment of a function to the increment of a variable in it, as the latter tends to 0; the instantaneous change of one quantity with respect to another, as velocity, which is the instantaneous change of distance with respect to time. Compare first derivative, second derivative.

7. a financial contract whose value derives from the value of underlying stocks, bonds, currencies, commodities, etc.

So, I breathed a sigh of relief and never thought about it again while continuing to use these images and adding to them when I saw something I liked in magazines here and there over the years. When I used them I covered most of the images up with the following image, never thinking much of the whole process. I like texture so most images I’ve only used to portray color and texture, even covering them with baubles, mosaic tile, rub-ons, stickers and similar items.

Yesterday someone saw an image on a coaster (a partial image) that they recognized and called me on it. I sited the copyright law (http://www.copyright.gov/title17/92chap1.pdf) where we had found the information previously. This went into a heated discussion to where I ended up deleting the conversation. I knew that I was at least in the wrong in arguing, period, no matter what the situation was. That IS NOT sharing God’s love with people, what I consider to be a major part of my life’s mission.

I searched and searched, with the help of another Facebook friend for more information on this subject of copyright infringement. I prayed for wisdom. I was truly dumbfounded as I had no intentions of stealing anyone else’s artwork and had now been called a thief! I was distraught and could think of nothing else! I went on to a restless night in bed while this song kept going through my head. Every time I awoke it was there.  

I shared with my husband about the song going through my head and that I thought that God was telling me that I needed to stand up for what was right, even if it wasn’t illegal. And, when I got on the computer, I went through all of my coasters for sale in my Etsy.com shop, looking for magazine artwork and removed each of them. This will not happen again from me!

Added later in 2010

I thought this was finished but last night that song played in my head all night. It's a nice song and of course, I like the lyrics but it's definitely not my style of music to listen to every night all night. I realized that I must not be finished with this yet. When I got out of bed, I came to the place at the kitchen table where I spend alone time with the Lord nearly every morning before my husband gets up. I opened my Bible (and this is something that I rarely do) to scriptures that fit this writing to a tee. Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." and Matthew 6:21 "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." and there are so many other scriptures that would fit with this whole scenario.

This is the way the Lord speaks to me many, many times and I guess it's because I've grown to have some discernment. I will hear that small voice or a song repeat over and over and over again until I am obedient.
For those of you who do not wish to watch or listen to the video above, here are the lyrics:

Let the Church Rise

Artist: Jonathan Stockstill
Album: Anthems of Praise

We are alive, filled with Your glorious light
Out of the dark into Your marvelous light
We are waiting with expectation
Spirit, raise us up with You

Let the church rise from the ashes
Let the church fall to her knees
Let us be light in the darkness

Let the church rise, let the church rise

Moving with power, bringing Your name to the earth
Singing Your praises, lifting up glorious songs
We are moving with His compassion
Spirit, raise us up with You

Let Your wind blow, let Your wind blow, let Your wind blow, revive us again Lord

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Good Bye Old Self - Poetry share - 2010

Good Bye - Old Self

We depart in peace
Knowing God is with us.
Feeling His presence
Every step of the way.
Knowing that it is
By His grace,
We are Free!

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NKJV)
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new."

If you like my poetry, my book "Beyond to Better Things" contains a short testimony and 50 poems.  http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Better-Things-Tricia-Marie/dp/160703252X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1335067454&sr=8-1

Thursday, September 16, 2010

My Theme Song - My Life - 2010

Yesterday morning, I went out to run a few errands. I was listening to the CD by Red, "End of Silence" and just totally involved in enjoying the beautiful day. I've had this album for three years, but it remains to be my favorite album because so many of the words are so deep into my exact feelings about the Lord and the ethereal music helps me to transcend this worldly place. Red has a second album but it does not reach into me like this first one has. I heard my favorite, my very favorite song once again, Lost. And, I realized that it's like a painting in words to me. It portrays how I see my life now. It shares how I am only able to belong in this lunatic of a world - because I stay lost in Him so much of my time. Without Him, I believe I'd be no longer useful in this world. Only through Him can I live, and move, and have my being! And, it's not a bad way to be! I may have been disabled by the world, but He has enabled me to dream, to create, to love and to live!

This video I'm sharing includes the lyrics. The style of this song is rock with hints of classical music. It does have some heavier moments which you may want to lower your speakers for. But, it's my hopes that you will listen and read the lyrics and know how I find peace, in Him!

If you want a different life, you need to pursue God with all that is within you! I don't even recognize my life as compared to the 80's.
2 Timothy 2:22 "Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart."

If you'd like to read more about how God has used this music in my life, please read another of my writings: "He Delivered Me From Depression" -

A short version of my testimony of my younger years can be found in my book "Beyond to Better Things" by Tricia Marie (Pen name)!

Friday, August 20, 2010

Premise for My Artwork - Faith Based? 2010

"Most of my artwork is inspired by our Creator's Complexity in that He created each one of us so unfathomable that one has to look many times over to see every aspect of each and every one of us! I appreciate that uniqueness and value those who dare to be who God created them to be! I hope you enjoy my art and appreciate that I also include a bit of whimsy as me being who I was created to be! I don't expect you to love it all but I hope you find something that you can appreciate." - this is from the
"About" on my page on Facebook.

I had someone compliment me, saying that they loved my faith-based artwork. What is faith-based artwork? I had to think about it and I actually consider all of mine to be faith-based. The reason for this is that  I don't make a piece of artwork that He isn't consulted with during every step of the process. He is my constant companion in life so why would I not include Him in this gift He has given me? I believe I am truly blessed by this. So, I don't know what you'd call it if not faith-based? What do you think?

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

He's "Better Than Drugs" - 2010

I’m getting rather ‘sappy’ on you this morning!  I remembered that I had asked you to comment on my last blog writing on God’s direction in encaustic painting so this morning I decided to check.  I thank you so much for commenting. Right when I read it, “God With Us” as sung by Mercy Me came on in my Playlist of Worship music. The combination of the song and the comments had me literally in tears!   I am so thankful to God for this new life.  I have no way of explaining so that you all would truly know the living hell I was in for 18 years of my life before rededicating my life to the Lord in 1988.

When we moved to Florida in 2005, we were only here for 5 days when we were in church. We weren’t even close to being unpacked yet.   In 1979-80 I lived as a drunken, doped up beach bum out on Anna Maria Island and this move was going to be entirely different. I ran, fast and furious from that prior life.  I was going to have nothing to do with it.  I believe that is what needs to happen for us to truly have a changed life. God has to be something that we run towards with ALL of our intensity -- ALL your passion -- ALL that is within you! 

God has brought me out of some days even just sitting in my house in a drunken stupor, crying in the dark by the hour to having periods of such sheer joy that there are hardly words to express how I feel! God made us.  God, our creator, knows exactly what we need and He is just there, waiting to give it to us -- waiting for us to ask --- waiting for us to seek after Him.  And, in turn, our lives are far from perfect, but they are so much better because we do not go through them alone. He knows what we need in the midst of anything in life. I once shared that I could be sitting in a pile of dung, praising Him because He makes life worth living! He brings joy in the midst of something most would think of as sorrow! (Isaiah 61:1-3 – this is speaking of Jesus –

1 “The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me,
Because the LORD has anointed Me
To preach good tidings to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD,
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
3 To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.”)
We, as artists are so blessed.  (I shared this with friends the other day and nearly felt like I could jump up and preach.)  Nearly every day, I turn up my Playlist of worship music and get to work on my writing and/or artwork.  The inspiration from the strongly felt presence of the Holy Spirit is far beyond any drug-induced stupor! 
Better Than Drugs
by Skillet
Feel your every heartbeat 
Feel you on these empty nights 
Calm the ache, stop the shakes 
You clear my mind 
You’re my escape 
From this messed up place 
‘Cause you let me forget 
You numb my pain 

How can I tell you just all that you are 
What you do to me 

You’re better than drugs 
your love is like wine 
Feel you comin’ on so fast 
Feel you comin’ to get me high 
You’re better than drugs 
Addicted for life 
Feel you comin’ on so fast 
Feel you comin’ on to get me high 

Feel you when I’m restless 
Feel you when I cannot cope 
You’re my addiction, my prescription, my antidote 
You kill the poison 
Ease the suffering 
Calm the rage when I’m afraid 
To feel again 
How can I tell you just all that you are 
What you do to me 

Feel your every heartbeat 
Feel you on these empty nights 
You’re the strength of my life 

Feel your every heartbeat 
Feel you on these empty nights 
Feel your every heartbeat 
Feel you come to get me high 

music by john l cooper lyrics by john l cooper and brian howes

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

How I Found Encaustic Wax Painting - 2010 +update

I am so very intrigued by the whole encaustic wax painting process at this point. This morning it came to mind to share how this all started. When something is laid upon my mind, and I can’t shake the thought, I parallel it to when I get a song going through my head and I have to find the song and listen to it, to get it to stop. I know this happens to many people as we have shared. It seems to be the same with my writing and other things that God is directing me to do. This thought will go through my head over and over again until I act upon it. I don’t know, maybe the thought would eventually go away if I didn’t listen, but my discernment is strong and grows stronger the more I pay attention. It becomes easier and easier to know what direction God wants me to go, the more I look for it.

Another way that God gives me direction is in the following true story:

It was a Thursday and I was off running errands. Among them was a stop at an art supply store. As I browsed I came upon an interesting free brochure on Encaustic Wax Painting. I’d seen the word “encaustic” once before but had no clue what it was so I picked up the brochure and brought it home with me. When I got home, I unloaded the car and headed to my computer to e-mail my husband that I was home. Not even 5 minutes after I sat down, I received an e-mail from one of my many art-related sites that I frequent with the subject on encaustic wax painting. It had video links attached.  My mouth fell open and I’ve watched this video 6-7 times since.

To explain: I’ve redone the inside of 2 houses. On the last house I spent hour upon hour faux painting, seemingly in the heavenlies I was so at peace. Decorating and needle work were my artistic outlet as an adult.  The mannerisms in this video were reminiscent of my own when faux painting so that it impassioned me to know more.

Then, that night I went to a class at my church and the husband of a new couple there had just taken a class in encaustic wax painting. I was bowled over. Here I didn’t even know previously to this day what encaustic was. And, here it was being pointed out to me three times in one day. I knew this had to be God! In Ohio AA meetings there is a saying “coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous” which I wholeheartedly believe.

I prayed that if this was a medium which I was supposed to pursue that God would make the way to this available to me. I’ve prayed and prayed and prayed about this. “Lord, you know I’m basically broke, so You will need to provide the means for me to get the materials inexpensively.” Already the materials have turned into a pile on the side of my work table for little or nothing spent. I didn’t think I had room for this in this house, but I have also found a way to clear off my work tables with extremely inexpensive purchases of storage cabinets. God is opening all the doors and making a way into this work with this art medium for me.

Since this day, which was only approximately a month ago, I’ve started using the clear encaustic wax medium in my collage work, and it is so very enjoyable to me.

God never ceases to motivate me when I’m on His path!

Just copying this to a folder to possibly edit to be included in my next book and I thought I might share my latest Encaustic art piece:  

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Imperfection - 2010

I was in a class some time ago that was learning about finding out how to see yourself in God's eyes. I heard this song, and that was it. That is how I used to feel exactly before rededicating my life to the Lord! I was drowning in my "imperfection" and I shared this song in class.  I was listening to Skillet today, heard this song again and thought that maybe someone would identify with this song?

from the album Collide by Skillet

You're worth so much
It'll never be enough

to see what you have to give
How beautiful you are
Yet seem so far from everything you're wanting to be

You're wanting to be
Tears falling down again
Tears falling down

You fall to your knees
You beg, you plead
Can i be somebody else for all the times i hate myself?
Your failures devour your heart in every hour
You're drowning in your imperfection

You mean so much
That heaven would touch the face of humankind for you
How special you are
Revel in your day
You're fearfully and wonderfully made

Tears fall down again
Come let the healing begin

You fall to your knees
You beg, you plead
Can i be somebody else for all the times i hate myself?
Your failures devour your heart in every hour
You're drowning in your imperfection

You're worth so much
So easily crushed
Wanna be like everyone else
No one escapes
Every breathe we take dealing with our own skeletons

You fall to your knees
You beg, you plead
Can i be somebody else for all the times i hate myself?
Your failures devour your heart in every hour
You're drowning in your imperfection

Won't you believe it? Won't you believe it?
All the things I see in you
You're not the only one, you're not the only one drowning in imperfection.

Music and Lyrics by John L. Cooper

But you are fearfully and wonderfully made. *Psalm 139:14 "I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well." Why would you need to be anybody else?

It came to mind to add a little explanation about perfection. When I was much younger and I did different mass produced needlework kits, I’d make a mistake now and then and most wouldn’t make any difference at all to the outcome of the finished kit. I learned that, this is what made the piece “mine”. No one else could have that same missing stitch (well, a gross impossibility). This is the way I learned to not be a perfectionist about my art/crafts! It was mine! No one else could make it like I could. That makes it OOAK (One of a Kind), and perfect in God’s eyes!

Monday, July 26, 2010

Purple - My Favorite Color! - 2010

We were sharing in our ladies' class before church yesterday. I remember thinking ‘what do Christians do on a Saturday night (hypothetically) if not ‘out partying’?’ I’d thought about how boring it must be. Was I ever so very wrong! In so many ways, all the ladies in the class were on the same page, as in every Sunday morning. Everything points to our learning about the same ‘truth’ from God’s word. It is so very beneficial that I hate to miss a class. Many times we go on to church with the Pastor's sermon just reiterating what the ladies were also working on.

Being a Christian has proved to me to be far from boring.  I don’t remember being bored for even a day or an hour for this entire 22 years.   My daily walks with the Lord have proven to be an eye opening, mostly enjoyable experience. He knows who I am. He created me so He knows every part of me. He knows what makes my life interesting to me and He loves me so He provides me with much to intrigue me. For instance, the following happened just this morning, and I had to share it with a few of my closest friends. I sent this e-mail: “Good morning! Just had to share this with you! Years ago (when a teen) I remember reading what favorite colors could mean about a person which is why I didn’t pick purple as I thought it meant that I was too bold. As I’m starting my 2nd collage “Ode to Purple”, I was praying about its composure and it came to mind to look up the definition of a person whose favorite color is purple and when I saw it I actually shrieked with tears coming to my eyes. It is so me! WOW! As I read it again, I’m so overwhelmed!  The first sentence is that I believe God has shown me that one of my main tasks is to let people know how unique they are.  That God made each of us unique for a special reason! Quite cool!

“Purple: Purples are highly individual, fastidious, witty and sensitive, with a strong desire to be unique and different. Temperamental, expansive and artistic, a Purple person may become aloof and sarcastic when misunderstood. If you chose Purple, you tend to be unconventional, tolerant and dignified, likely to achieve positions of authority.” (From: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/favorite-color-personality.html?page=3)

Explanation of my art on my fan page: “Most of my artwork is inspired by our Creator's Complexity in that He created each one of us so unfathomable that one has to look many times over to see every aspect of each and every one of us! I appreciate that uniqueness and value those who dare to be who God created them to be! I hope you enjoy my art and appreciate that I also include a bit of whimsy as me being who I was created to be! I don't expect you to love it all but I hope you find something that you can appreciate. Thank you for looking!””

This is being revised to add the poem that I wrote about Purple and a photo of the collage that I made:

Ode to Purple

I decided to journey
into what makes “me” up
To see beyond this
50 Year old disabled lady.
The old fear of this color
behind me.
I delve into it again.
The Purple
I see that
is truly there inside.
It was “me” all the time…
now God’s freedom
is letting “me” out!
The Purple “me” I see,
I like!

I just posted a photo on Facebook of one of my first paintings. I have not really done any painting until just the last couple of months so I've posted several photos to an album entitled "Playing", along with a few playful drawings that I've started to do again, not doing much drawing at all since prison (more than 20 years ago). The painting I am sharing I did a couple of weeks ago. I realized that I liked it more than any I'd done yet because the brush strokes felt like they represented a freedom to me. But, then while taking some good photos of it yesterday, it hit me -- it looks like the purple is exploding -- purple freedom -- however you say it! I love it even more now. I think I'll frame this one and hang it somewhere in my home as a special memory to me! Check it out:

If you are blessed by this blog entry, please leave me a comment as it totally encourages me to write more. I will appreciate it even more than you know and even consider it as a special gift from you! Thank you & may God bless your coming and your going!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Cute Little Share - 2010

Just thought I’d share a cute little story from today. I was coming home from running errands. I was driving down highway 41 towards home with all my windows down, sunroof open, stereo blaring away, and hair blowing in the wind. A car switched lanes behind me and seemed intent on going faster than it had been. As it blew past me on the right as I bore off to the left on 19, I saw its windows all down and the two ladies in it had their hair blowing in the breeze, also. What a wonderful feeling and I wondered if they felt the same, too? Cool thing is that I was a bit shocked when I looked down at my external thermometer and it read 95 degrees!  God truly makes life bearable!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Revelations While Visiting My Mom - 2010

I went to see my 87 year old mother today. She resides in a local nursing home. I had a couple of revelations while I was there. She told me that she doesn’t think she gets those types of revelations. I’m wondering if she does but may just not get as excited about it as I do. I’m an emotional person. I seem to live in my emotions and I'm not sure if this is a good or a bad thing. Hmmmmm…I guess when they’re good, it’s a good thing!

My mother is not in good health. Along with having the physical results of 3 strokes she now has numerous maladies from being down for so long. She hasn’t walked since her gall bladder surgery of March, 2009. She shares that she is in resultant pain and/or discomfort most of the time.  It wasn't easy dealing with her but many times God gave me a picture of her in my mind's eye as though she were a wounded animal due that she also has dementia so she could not always think clearly.

I can tend to be in quite some pain due to all of the past accidents I’ve been through, not just with my back (which is the most severe) but throughout much of my body. But, when I do my artwork, there seems to be no pain or at least not enough to bother me! I was sharing with my mom that she needed to get involved in activities in order to distract her from those painful thoughts. And, I really believe that the Holy Spirit was reaffirming to me that He doesn’t always take the pain away, but makes it easier to bear so we will not be tempted to complain, get angry, get distracted from doing good, etc. *1 Cor. 10:13 “ No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”

I went on to share more with her and I’d thought that she seemed happier at this nursing home than she was in the past but she shared with me that she’d just given up hope. She didn’t care anymore. She shared that she lacked purpose. So, I shared that I would pray for her and also shared *James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”

And, yet another thing came to me. She has had trouble with many caregivers over the past few years, complaining about most. I asked her if she still prayed for them (she was doing this at one time) and she told me that she’d stopped because it didn’t seem to do any good. She prayed for me for 28 years before I rededicated my life to the Lord and turned from my wild ways, which I reminded her of.  What if she’d stopped? Maybe I wouldn’t be so different right now? And, I also shared this scripture with her: James 4:2b “…you do not have because you do not ask.” And Luke 6:28 “bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.” What do you think?

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

All I Have to do is Ask - 2010 - PLUS 2012 UPDATE

I was sent a devotional by a friend this morning that opened my eyes (yet again). It primarily talked about how we doubt God’s power and forget to ask for what He’s promised to us. To explain: I’ve been copying old writings into my blog to get them saved somewhere besides my home computer. I’ve been doing this for quite some time so that I’ve relieved myself of the responsibility of doing a whole lot of writing from scratch. A few days ago I finished copying the last of them (at least of what I’ve found so far) and immediately I thought “oh, no. This means I have to start writing again”. So I’ve had this in the back of my mind, or I guess it’s been the Holy Spirit urging me to just do it; to just sit down and write. Then I saw the devotional and I knew it, it couldn’t wait any longer, so here I am writing and praying for God’s power, for His words to flow through my fingers! I looked above my desk to a list of scriptures hanging there and see “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5, 6. 

The Holy Spirit has been speaking to me, moving through me. If you are reading this right now, yes this is partially about you. I believe He has given me a ministry to these precious friends on Facebook. Sunday in church as we took communion our pastor told us to ask God to show us someone we were to reach for Him and I heard in that still small voice, “the world”. In this vast reaching media of Facebook, God has allowed me to reach out to the world for Him. I am in awe of how He has increased my friends in number by nearly 1100 in just 3 short weeks. My blog is now reaching out to almost 50 people and I have yet to invite all my friends to read it as yet. Not to mention that my fan page is also nearing 600. This is all just too much for me to have done alone. I have no doubt that I followed the instruction of the Holy Spirit to start requesting friendships of artists/art related people. And, now, I know that He has given me the part of reaching out to these friends for Him. All encompassing, once again, Proverbs 3:5, 6. I truly didn’t have a clue how big this was going to be, and it’s still growing day by day.

A month or so ago I prayed for motivation. I was having trouble feeling like writing, doing my artwork, exercising, and on and on. I have been so touched by all the sharing and compliments from these new friends that I’m now working on entering a contest with my artwork, here I am writing, and the motivation is nearly limitless! He truly knows what we need! And, most importantly, all we have to do is ask: Luke 11: 9 “So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” Hallelujah!

Oh my!  I had to share after reading this because God has increased these numbers to the point of nothing short of miraculous.  One of those things that is a definite 'God Sighting'.  My FB friends hover right around 5000.  The followers of this blog number 457.  And, at last look my fan page is at 1575.  Every time I take time to look at the numbers I'm in awe and have no idea what the future holds.  Just living it one day at a time!

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!