What's The Meaning of This? - 2011 - Update 2013

Just have a little bit to share with you all this morning as these thoughts roll through my mind. This song has been going through my mind over and over again for about a week now and I was searching to know why. It’s called “Watch You Crawl” by Red. Red’s new album “Until We Have Faces” just came out in February and it’s already number 2 in the country. On Youtube there are videos of them on The Tonight Show and Conan, too. I loved their music right from the start. I not only love the use of strings and piano along with the electric instruments which reaches the artist part in me but I also love the deepness, profoundness of their lyrics. When I looked up the lyrics of this song “Watch You Crawl” I found out even more of why I liked it and seemingly so many others love this album, too. It speaks to who I was before I found Jesus. Two of the band members have pasts in addiction. And, although I was not addicted to any one substance, I was mentally and emotionally addicted to being intoxicated on anything possible for a good 18 years of my life. I guess I am to share this with you so you might also understand how Satan works with addiction. These lyrics are powerful and even gruesome, but so very true! And why are they such a hit? So those who are fighting the addictions can know there is someone else out there that gets how they feel and they've made it out. It gives them hope! Even though this music is looked down upon by many it is loved by many who are finally learning that they are not alone! And, as with me, it meant more than many could ever know! It gave me hope! 
Watch You Crawl
by Red

You put my back against the wall
Watching, waiting
You never thought I’d get this far
Beneath your skin

I watched you swim with all your lies
They pulled you under
And as you wait for my demise
I’m just getting stronger
I’m learning who you really are
And nothing can save you

I will fight until the end
Get ready to collide
And I will watch you fall again
I’ll bury you alive
You tried to bring me to my knees
You tried to take it all
Now I will stand and watch you crawl

I’ll put you back where you belong
Hopeless, fading
And I will rise while you
Become the monster you have fed
I’ll let you drown in your despair
Now nothing can save you

I’m still here
Now I’m gonna watch you beg


If you don't get it, this is supposed to be addiction itself talking to the person that it is devouring! Red shares much about this very thing! “Once a person is lost in the grips of Satan's disguise in addiction, Jesus has to be a light to show them the true way out!”

And, others are attracted to this music and given a way out through faith in Jesus Christ! I am learning to pay more attention to all Christian music as there is some that I do not care for but I’ve also learned as an artist that art is subjective. Meaning, “to each his own”. By judging music I’m also judging the listeners and I always have room to learn!

*2 Corinthians 1:3-5 "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ."
Another scripture that has spoken to me for so long and may help some of you to understand why Christian rock?

*1 Corinthians 9:19-23

The Message (MSG)

19-23 “Even though I am free of the demands and expectations of everyone, I have voluntarily become a servant to any and all in order to reach a wide range of people: religious, nonreligious, meticulous moralists, loose-living immoralists, the defeated, the demoralized—whoever. I didn't take on their way of life. I kept my bearings in Christ—but I entered their world and tried to experience things from their point of view. I’ve become just about every sort of servant there is in my attempts to lead those I meet into a God-saved life. I did all this because of the Message. I didn't just want to talk about it; I wanted to be in on it!”

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

One Healing Amongst Many – 2011 + UPDATE 2013

Thanks to the Lord I have been healed of much.  I truly have trouble hearing people putting limits on what God can do because I know I was saved at 13 but had no clue as to His un-limitless power until I was arrested for selling LSD at 28 and I rededicated my life to Him. I had no doubts that I was a Christian with a Christian upbringing but there was so much concentration on ritual and condemnation and not on God’s love, God’s power, God’s mercy, etc.   I’ve shared about finding this scripture: 

 

*Romans 2:4 “Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?”

Over and over again He has healed me mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually and of which so much has happened that I’m not quite sure where to start. It would take much more time to write than I have time to do, that’s for sure. He has healed me from old hurtful memories, lesions in my brain, epilepsy, and every month or two I find some other malady that has left me!  He is forever at work restoring to me the years that the locusts ate 

 

*Joel 2:25a “And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten,” 

 

But, I do believe I am to share about the His healing from fear of which I had many 

 

*1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.”

 

I had so very much fear in my life that once again, I hardly know where to start. I know that I had several that had been manifested as actual phobias to the point where I was at a meeting for Christian artists and when we went around the room and had to just give our names and a little about ourselves my heart thumped loudly and as it was my turn, my view of the room changed to fog and faces flying at me out of this fog.  This happened just a few years ago even after our move to Florida and I was unsure about what to do about it.  That was a horrifying experience for me that nearly led me to believe that I had some kind of mental disorder (not that God couldn’t heal me anyway but it was that awful).

I had a fear of speaking in front of people for as long as I could remember.  When I prayed as a child (4-5 or so years old) I was chastised for not doing it right which is where I believe this whole fear started. A child should never be chastised for not praying right but:

 

*Ephesians 6:4 “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord."

Not long after this experience with the other artists, I was prayed for at church.  

The following day it came time to bless our lunch and I quickly offered to say the prayer with no fear involved whatsoever and I noticed a big difference in how I felt.

It wasn’t until a few months or even a year or later (May, 2009) that I noticed a other differences.  I’d had a tremendous fear of heights since I was a child and nearly had a fatal fall.  This day we were at an amusement park on the sky ride and I looked down and instead of seeing the ground swimming and awkward beneath us, I SAW THE ACTUAL GROUND!  I remarked over and over about this as it’d been a good 40 years since I’d been higher up and looked down seeing the ground with any kind of normalcy!  I also rode rides along with a couple of larger roller coasters that day!

After sharing the fact that I was riding roller coasters with our pastor he asked me if I would give a testimony to that fact in church.  It took me a little work to get up the gumption to doing it. I realized that *“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Phil. 4:13 and went ahead with setting it up for Father’s day of that year.  And, I DID IT!  I got up in front of our entire congregation on Sunday morning and I had another showing of God’s healing power in my life.  I looked out into that congregation and saw many people smiling back at me.  I saw the people instead of heads flying at me!  HALLELUJAH & PRAISE THE LORD!

And, I have spoken in front of the congregation a couple of times since that day! I continue to move forward on a daily basis with the Lord!  He is the strength of my life.  I know that with Him, all that He places before me, I can do because of:

*Mark 9:23 “Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.”

*Mark 10:27 “But Jesus looked at them and said, “With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible.””

   

UPDATE 2013:  I am still learning & growing without fear!  I continually thank and praise the Lord with each new place that I visit alone (which I never did growing up or even as an adult).  And, it gets easier and easier.  I believe that God showed me that I am healed of fear and now it’s up to me to believe it and step out in FAITH with God!  I can do all things!

    And, I just believe that I’m supposed to share one of my favorite songs with you today…please enjoy this video:



May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

Finding His Goodness

I continue to be woken up nearly every day with this song going through my mind:

Not Alone
Until We Have Faces
by Red

Slowly fading away
You’re lost and so afraid
Where is the hope in a world so cold
Looking for a distant light
Someone who can save a life
Living in fear that no one will hear your cry
Can you save me now

I am with you
I will carry you through it all
I won’t leave you, I will catch you
When you feel like letting go
‘Cause you’re not, you’re not alone

Your heart is full of broken dreams
Just a fading memory
And everything’s gone, but the pain carries on
Lost in the rain again
When will it ever end
The arms of relief seem so out of reach
But I, I am here

And I will be your hope
When you feel like it’s over
And I will pick you up
When your whole world shatters
And when you’re finally in my arms
You’ll look up and see, love has a face

And I will be your hope
(You’re not alone)
And I will pick you up
And I will be your hope
And I will be your hope

Slowly fading away
You’re lost and so afraid
Where is the hope in a world so cold

When I rededicated my life to the Lord in 1988, this was my main reason for grabbing a hold of Him. I was falling and He picked me up!

In July of 1988, I was 28 years old and I was working at a county agency for the elderly as the secretary - bookkeeper - activity director - and the director in the absence of the director. I was dating a model that was 7 years younger than me. I ran around in skirts, hose, and high heels and I looked as though I had it all to the world, but I was dying inside. I’d just been arrested for selling LSD and I knew that I was headed for prison. To me, this was the final blow. I’d had it! My heart broke wide open! I was going over the edge and had literally decided to have myself committed! And God reached down and picked me up!

I’ve heard, time after time, people preaching fire and brimstone. That may work for some, but it didn’t ever work for me. People condemned my ways and told me that I needed to repent, but all that did was give me more reason to hate myself and shoved me further and further down. That gave me all the reason in the world for my various suicide attempts. I thought I was no good and worth nothing! Every time I heard this preached on the radio, TV or etc… it heaped more shame, more guilt, more depression upon me.

But God came to me and pulled me up. He lifted me out of the muck and the mire and showed me His love. He wasn’t condemning, He was loving! And, I started to understand His love more through His word. I sat at my desk at work each day with tears running down my face but my Bible lay on my desk and I read His words:

Psalm 27:1,14
“The Lord is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid?...


(http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2027&version=NKJV)


…Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!”


And I could go on!

Just a couple of months ago I found a Bible verse that struck me. I know I’ve read it time and again before. This is why His Bible is called the living word. I read it over and over again and sometimes it takes even years before I see a certain verse. He knows when my heart will be open to it and it’s like He highlights it when it will truly touch my heart. I’ve learned this so many times over in this almost 23 years of my daily walks with Him that I continue to ponder His word on a daily basis. This verse was very special and continues to have a special place in my heart:

Romans 2:4
“Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?”

And, I started praying for others differently; for them to see His goodness. For others to find His love as I did. And, I realized my true passion is just that, to share His love with others so that they may find what He has shown me. That their aching hearts may be comforted by the love of our magnificent Father.

2 Corinthians 1:4
“who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

And, I continue to hear those words going through my mind as if He was saying them to me Himself “I am with you. I will carry you through it all. I won’t leave you, I will catch you when you feel like letting go. ‘Cause you’re not, you’re not alone.”

And that is also why when I saw this photo it became one of my very favorites. I have a little card with it on it hanging on my desk in front of me now. I say I am the female version in this painting by an unknown artist:

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!