He is making perfect sense out of a perfectly senseless, messed up life!

Monday, November 11, 2013

WHO AM I?

OH MY!  And I’m finding out!  Don’t ever settle!  Don’t ever be satisfied with YOU being someone that YOU’RE NOT!  You were created by God!  God, the ALMIGHTY CREATOR of the UNIVERSE!  Ask Him who He created you to be!  With each step towards finding out, I am more and more overjoyed!  If you’ve been following this blog for long then you know that I’m a ‘been there, done that’ meaning there is not much I haven’t experienced or someone close to me has.  Each time I see God’s transformation in me, NONE of that mess matters or has the slightest weight on my head/heart!  I’m an overjoyed to see what God has taught me through each experience!  Even though so many things, “LIFE” is hard so many times, in looking back I can certainly see His plan laid out and it’s producing more and more joy in my life!  I hope you can tell I’m elated!  Haven’t come down since yesterday’s message in church!

To explain, a very gifted, God-fearing young man gave the message yesterday morning instead of our Pastor.  He does this periodically and I have ALWAYS gained much from every message that he’s given.  There is no doubt these are God constructed!  (I was in a class with this young man several years’ back that his wife led (early 20’s at the time) and he was so very quiet!  God’s work in him is so very apparent).  God’s work in so many in our church is apparent but there are others who seem to be quite stagnant or leading just mundane lives as Christians.  Which is what his message was about.  About not living a life of just day to day humdrum!  Or, not living a mundane life!   Letting go and letting God run with you!

When I left work outside the home in 2001, I was clueless as to why this was happening to me and I’ve seen so many reasons that they are countless at this point….OH MY! 

I was previously working at a huge hospital in Ohio.  I was a Radiological Transcriptionist.  I trained on the job so that I could up my pay, then I could work less hours and go back to school to be a Paramedic.  I found the idea that I had also posed to God from watching the movie “Twister”.  I found a fire within me while working in the Emergency Room (check out my archives).  I became a prayer warrior there.  I never felt so alive working this job.  All the doors were opened until I got sick, then a door slammed in my face.    So, I’ve basically questioned God about this abrupt ending ever since!  I truly thought I was following Him but now I believe I’m seeing that it was just the ending of one season in my life and onward to another season. 

During the message yesterday it was almost as if this young man was talking just to me.  God spoke to me alongside.  I was having trouble being situated in my seat it was such a moving experience.  He spoke of not being satisfied with the mundane.  I can’t say I’ve ever been.  I grew up cleaning out cupboards and drawers for my mother when I was grounded.  And now, I rarely even watch TV without my hands going, working on some type of art, painting my nails, going through my magazines, etc… or I’m asleep!  Yes, I am ADHD.  Was diagnosed taking my step-son to the doctor when I was 39 years old.  But, God also showed me that this was a part of me and that I should focus on the positive aspects.


I hate being sick longer than a day!  All of this (I’m sure) is also why God had to let me be knocked down with the CNS Vasculitis so I could learn (one of my many thanksgivings from this illness) to be still and know He is God!  So I would slow down enough to hear His voice more clearly.  And, I have learned (as in archives) that I operate so much better being disabled by the world, but enabled by God!

*Psalm 46:10a “Be still, and know that I am God;”

(Being disabled is something that I am working on doing some writing about in my own time.  Matter of fact, I’ve recently gotten through my head for the umpteenth time that I need to write about the whole sickness, etc… (archives again).  I’ve shared so much in the past.  When writing, even short e-mails now and then, I can write myself into figuring things out and sometimes giving things to God that just wouldn't seem to go there any other way.)

In so many ways I have been learning who God made me to be and by letting Him have this, He is making sense of my life and in doing so I’m learning that all the mess is strangely dim and how much ALL of it has been answer to my own prayers, too!

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!