He is making perfect sense out of a perfectly senseless, messed up life!

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

HE WON’T LEAVE


*Deut. 31:8 “And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”
I am not particularly certain why this story came to my mind at this time BUT I woke up way before my alarm and could not go back to sleep so after about 30 min. of just lying there trying to go back to sleep, I got up. After picking up my iPad I noticed that a friend/a Christian sister had messaged me and after reading what she wrote, this was my long response which also turned into a posting for my blog. Maybe you know why it came to mind, huh?
‘You & I seem to be in a similar place sometimes in our spiritual maturity! Paper dragons? Being an artist I tend to have a very vivid imagination!

Last Spring I went through a major enlightening! When I was sick (with CNSV) I went through 6 years of severe motion sickness...the most awful symptom I've experienced! It ended when I was healed in 2007 and I was finally able to stop a medication for it that I'd been quite dependent on.

Last Spring I was diagnosed with Vertigo with an onset of nearly 2 weeks of almost constant moderately severe motion sickness (still have it much less often – I have learned to keep it at a minimum now). I got mad and I have known enough most of my years that I will let God know about it. (One of the first things I was asked when doing some life coaching with a pastor at our church is, do I let God know when I’m mad at Him). And I mean I got the maddest I think I'd been in 20 years or more and I told Him about it. But with every outburst I'd hear "but I still love you" and similar comments to truly let me know that He would not leave me nor forsake me! And after the 2 weeks & I thought about what I'd done I'd hear "but you didn't turn away!" And I had a major enlightenment of how He will just take it all no matter what stupidity I get stuck on! I liken it to David in Psalms (although I feel too humbled to fully go there yet no other comparison I've come up with yet!). It was a major revelation, more than I'd had in my 26 years of walking with Him as constant as an imperfect person can! I got it deep down inside that He would take anything I could dish out and more and never leave me! It was humbling to say the least! Oh did I ever have to ask for forgiveness when I "came to". BUT our intimacy changed – it has deepened tremendously! And even though I've known it in my heart all along that I could tell Him when I'm mad at Him there was something about me going further with that than I usually do that made it all more real to me!

I’ve now realized that I’m going to have to use what I've shared in a blog post because I now realize why I could not go back to sleep when I'd woken up at 5:20am. (A more normal writing time! Much inspiration comes in the night!). Thank you for your end of getting those inspirational juices flowing! Sorry so long but you do know I AM a writer?!

In conclusion, I cry out to Him so very automatically! When those "paper dragons" come I am in His arms and even though my peace isn't fully instantaneous I'm working my way there by the power of the Holy Spirit, too!

In addition I’m thinking I should share: During the most severe (about 4-5 years) of the motion sickness which did periodically weaken in intensity. one of the medications I had to take that cost $20 per pill and was covered by insurance (thank the Lord). This medication was given to chemo patients – This symptom is that of which you hear so much hype in the news about medical marijuana being needed for (also ‘brain nausea’). Not sure how to explain it. Nowhere close to normal nausea. It feels like a spinning of your insides deep down from the pit of your stomach up through the middle of your brain. So awful and so thankful I rarely get it unless I lay down too quickly now, and then it is quite quickly passes!

Thanks again! Love you too!

Have a blessed day!!’

I've probably shared this song before but it is just too appropriate for this post so please enjoy it again:



May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!