The Holy Spirit

        Heavenly Father, give me the grace to write this blog entry this morning.  I’m sleepy and mindless.  Please be my memory, Lord!  In Jesus’ name, Amen

         Last night I dreamed and dreamed.  I awoke several times in the midst of memories.  Yesterday in church one of my closest girlfriends/sisters received the baptism of the Holy Spirit.  She’d hoped and prayed for this overflowing, indwelling of the Holy Spirit for years and had been so very disappointed each time she was prayed for and didn’t receive.  Yesterday the first thing she said to me after was how amazing He was when you get out of your own way (in so many words).  Yep, she was so right!  And my memory recalled that time in my life, now 23 years ago, and I realized how I’ve slighted God in my past writings.  I’ve been such a witness to the power of the Holy Spirit, even giving such recall of His work in my life without sharing one of the most important things…the baptism of the Holy Spirit.

         Why should we want this?  In God’s Word we are told to be filled with the Holy Spirit:  *Ephesians 5:18 “And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit,”

         I believe that I heard the best explanation from a brother at my church a few years back that sounded just right.  It’s like instead of just having the Holy Spirit, you have the Holy Spirit on steroids!  This is where an amazing, overflowing amount of God’s power comes from.  This is where God’s amazing peace; His peace that passes understanding.  This is how God showed me about the hole inside that people (including me) ran around trying to fill up with booze, drugs, and all kinds of things.  We were all trying to find that comfort and that absolute peaceful companionship that only the Holy Spirit will bring.

*Romans 14:17 “for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.”

*Romans 15:13 “Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

*John 14:15-18 “If you love Me, keep My commandments. And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever— the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.  I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.

*John 14:25-27 “These things I have spoken to you while being present with you. But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you. Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

         I wrestled in my sleep and this morning with the right way to share this with you all due to the fact that the Baptism of the Holy Spirit is not accepted in all of the denominations of faith.  But, the denominations are people made not God made.  Just because one doesn’t believe, doesn’t mean it isn’t true.  I know people mostly disbelieve out of fear.  But fear is not of God.  I’ve shared with you before:

*2 Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 

         When I rededicated my life to the Lord in 1988 I knew the Baptism of the Holy Spirit is what I longed for.  Even though I’d been raised in a Baptist church until 1968 and then on to an Episcopalian church throughout my school years, I remembered my mother praying in tongues since I was a small child.  My folks had Bible studies in our home during the 1960’s.  They were involved in the healing ministry (Order of St. Luke) during the outpouring of the Holy Spirit during these years.  I heard of the miraculous healings done at Kathryn Kuhlman crusades (https://www.google.com/search?ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&q=Kathryn%20kuhlman).  I’d had a healing myself, of my kidneys in 1968.  If you’d like to learn more of my background there is a short version in my book which can be purchased at: 

http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Better-Things-TriciaMarie/dp/160703252X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1228308095&sr=8-1

or there is also more by looking into this blog’s archives.

I truly believed that a good Christian was to desire the Holy Spirit and the spiritual gifts of God. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1Corinthians+14&version=NKJV

I could write more and more on the subject but that would make this blog entry into more of a book chapter.  I would suggest that you pray and read what God shows you.  Most importantly, I consumed the shorter but jam packed with info, books by Kenneth E. Hagin:  http://www.rhema.org/store/authors/kenneth-e-hagin.html?author=9

Please forgive my memory if I forget to mention something (be sure to contact me at the e-mail address below if you have questions).  I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit on the top bunk in the prison cell that I was in, January of 1989.  At the time it didn’t seem like the most appropriate place but it was the only place that I had at the time and I wanted more of God.  I remember lying there, praying (which is just talking to God) and telling Him how I desired more of Him.  How I’d heard of the gifts of the Holy Spirit and how I wanted all of the gifts that He was willing to give me.  How, by definition these gifts were freely given.  How I knew that this was what I was supposed to do.  Along with how much I loved Him and walking daily with Him.  I went on and on for some time, I’m sure.  During this time, all of a sudden I felt a wonderful, warm, non-painful, power as if it was a bolt of electricity shooting from my head to my feet that felt like it nearly raised me from my bunk.  I whispered in a tongue unknown to me due to my roommate being on the bottom bunk.

I went on to praying this way as I believe God was leading.  I remember having doubts that I was honestly praying in tongues but I read more and have been reassured to this day of the truth in all of this.  My walk with the Lord grew more and more and has been expressed in many of my writings in this blog.  His peace has been multiplied to the point of many nearly drunken (in the Holy Spirit) writing sessions.  This is where I learned of who I lacked during my drunken/doped up days.  There is no negativity as in those old, bad acid trips or when I’d go fully overboard with the booze and drugs.  And, I can attest to the fact that God shared in His word that He would never leave me nor forsake me. 

*Deuteronomy 31:8 “And the LORD, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”

I can honestly admit that I have not felt lonely even one day since that day, 23 years ago.

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May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

When Faith and Fear Collide

          I just turned on an old Christian playlist that I have on my computer.  A song came on from several years ago that was actually the first one that drew me to the band “Skillet”.  This was in 2005 when we’d just moved to Florida, although I’d had this CD for some time, nothing had seemed to speak to me yet, but I kept playing it just feeling like I would eventually get something from it.  My favorite line from it was “There's something deep inside, It keeps my faith alive.” because it seemed to be such profound truth.  I clung to it, listening to it over and over. 

It seems that some people think that they have a whole lot more to do with their Christian walk than they really do.  I KNOW that the Holy Spirit has more to do with why I’m still hooked on God!  Just fractions of a second after my brain realizes I’m awake, I hear “Praise You, Lord!” going through my mind.  This happens even before my eyes open and I’m even semi-conscious.  I know that the Holy Spirit is speaking to my Spirit, letting me know that I’m awake and it’s time to acknowledge Him.  I know this is (if anything on my part) only that I was able to admit my weakness and the need for Him always.  I know I’ve prayed to never fall, for the Holy Spirit to always remind me that He’s there.   There’s something deep inside that keeps my faith alive!  I know that something is the Holy Spirit!

*John 14:26  “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.”

**The Sunday after we moved to Florida (got here on Tuesday) we were in church.  With piles of boxes left in the condo we were renting we still managed.  I remembered thinking that I’d lived mostly as a beach and bar bum when I’d lived here at 19 years old (some years ago) and I was running so fast in the opposite direction that I’m surprised my head didn’t spin off, but I was scared of that old life.  That Sunday I was so impressed by this new church.  I was introduced to the pastor, he hugged this huge 320 pound steroid bloated woman and it was as though he looked right through me to what was on the inside.  I’d never been so impressed with anyone like this before.  I felt such amazing acceptance.  And as I read in the bulletin and saw all the classes this church offered, I was impressed again.  This church truly reached out to a hurting world.  I signed up for the “Insight” class that was starting in 3 weeks that day.  I knew this church is where I belonged right off! 

And, I went on to taking numerous classes there over the next few years.  Not only did it supplement my recovery process for the CNS Vasculitis but it also added so much insight into my extremely rocky past.  This is also when more things from my past seemed to start haunting me as they were brought up in these classes.  Another part of this song “Collide” started speaking to me:

 “We are healing, but it's killing us inside
Can we take a chance when faith and fear collide
We can make it, step out and take it
We can't live feeling so numb
How long can we hold on? Can we hold on? Hold on!”

This fit my life so very well.  During the recent illness I had been put on two different antidepressants due to the part of my brain that was affected.  I’m sure that my past didn’t help.  Truth be known, I’d been through numerous counselors and psychologists, several suicide attempts, several hospitalizations, and on and on due to the abuse that I’d suffered as a teenager.  But the medication had started to make me feel numb.  I was diagnosed with Dysthymic Disorder just before leaving for Florida which is basically just that.  There were no lows (depression) but no highs either.  There was only numbness!  It was just awful!  I saw how it fit the song.  I’d found profound truth and I knew that God was working on something in me.   

          What was the fear?  In dredging up all the old thoughts, feelings, and facts of my past!  In finding a new me?  Was I ready?  That’s where the faith and fear collided.  I saw that I had to have faith to face this fear head on.  I had to have faith to believe that God was stronger, more powerful than all that old garbage in my mind. 

*2 Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."

I had to have faith that God would get me through.   

*1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”

I began numerous classes, talking out and writing out new truths in my workbooks.  I’d been told that I could write about my past to work through things to purge them, but while writing I reached into areas of my memories that were too hard to think about.  I actually ended up over the trashcan within minutes.  Those memories left me so quickly that I have no clue where they went.  God was healing me!  Faith and fear collided and Faith won!

Collide by Skillet

We have fallen, we have fallen again tonight Where do we go from here, when they're tearing down our lives? When all they want is, when all they want is for us to live in fear How long can we hold on? Can we hold on? Hold on! Chorus: There's something deep inside It keeps my faith alive When all you can do is hide from the fear that's deep inside of you Something to hold me close when I don't know There's something deep inside that keeps my faith alive We are healing, but it's killing us inside Can we take a chance when faith and fear collide We can make it, step out and take it We can't live feeling so numb How long can we hold on? Can we hold on? Hold on! (chorus) (chorus) Music by John L. Cooper, Lyrics by John L. Cooper & Paul Ebersold

RETROSPECTIVE:

I ran so long and hard from the pain caused by so much abuse in my life.  I ran to drugs, alcohol, and any intoxicant that someone would pass my way to NUMB that pain.  But, it does just that, NUMBS the pain!  Only God can HEAL that pain so that the numbness is gone!  I live life with so many high times now that some may not get it but it’s life, healed from so much of the garbage.  Life as I’m supposed to have through my faith in Jesus Christ!

          If you are ready to accept Jesus and all that He has to offer you in this life and into eternity then pray this simple prayer:

Dear Jesus,

        I need you.  I repent for all of my sins.  Thank you for dying on the cross to take the penalty for my sins.  I believe you are God’s Son and I now receive you as my Lord and Savior.  I commit my life to following you.

Amen.

         If you prayed this prayer please contact me and I will direct you to the next easy step that you definitely need after the important step that you just took.

        **We are still attending this same church which we ended up joining less than 1 year later.  As soon as I knew of our move to Florida I started praying for a church where we’d hate to miss on Sundays and my prayers were certainly answered.  We rarely miss a Sunday and are bothered by it if we do.

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

Another Revelation

If you’re reading this and you don’t know much about me or my past then you may want to stop right now and read this archived blog entry that will explain more at this point since my life has been quite full.  
http://somethingbyjuliana.blogspot.com/2010/07/testimony-written-for-billy-burke.html

Have any of you ever felt like you’d truly learned a lesson about something but later when it really hits you, you realize that you did learn about it in your head, but not your heart?  I think that is what happened to me today.  I’ve truly learned to thank the Lord for all I’ve been through. 

And I know that I may have to go through quite a bit that sometimes even looks quite nasty but God is doing something amazing in me. 

*Romans 8:28  "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

When God has taught me something from my past (and I love this) several times it’s seemed that He has given me a fly on the wall perspective.  To explain, I’ll see a picture of a time from my past as though I’m looking down at it while it’s happening.  This morning I saw myself standing in my back yard garden back in our house in Ohio before I got sick. I was working in my garden but on and off looking to the sky praising God while asking for Him to draw me closer to Him.  I knew prior to today that this had been my plea for many years but until today I had not specifically seen myself doing it.  And, I had such a struggle seeking Him.  Due to having ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) I lived with such distractions.  

But I had to go through much to get to where I am now.  If you’ve read the archive mentioned above you can see just a short version.

And, also, instead of Him removing the ADD, (which can be so very beneficial), he removed me from having to deal with the outside world as much.

http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=372

*Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”

And I have become so very thankful! 

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

A CALL TO ACTION

Today was another early Sunday. Nearly the minute we first arrived in the sanctuary the scripture Matthew 6:33 went through my mind. 

*Matt. 6:33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”

And went on through the worship, sermon, and service corresponding with this scripture.

Some time ago I believe God pointed this scripture out to me and I kept it taped right in front of me on my desk so that I could remember it, along with memorizing it. It seemed that every question I have posed to God about my life, He would very quickly and first and foremost point me back to this scripture.

During these times of such just literal garbage going on in this world we all need to step up and stand for what we believe in, not just some wishy-washy form of Christianity. We need to run to Him with our whole hearts. And in turn He gives us His peace to make it in this world!

I see one of the main problems going on in the world today is that we, who call ourselves Christians just sit in our pews, shut up within our own selves.

*2 Timothy 3:1-5 “But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!”

This is talking about Christians; The people who claim to be believers in the power of Jesus Christ to salvation. Huh? Yet, these are the people who are told to “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness” (*Matt. 6:33).

And, this morning I found myself praying for our congregation for all to be removed that was impeding God’s truth from getting into their hearts and minds. I am not looking for or asking for my own agenda, but His will to be done.

We who are in the church are supposed to be the ones sharing with the rest of the world how to survive in these end times. We who are in the church are the ones with the key to liberty and to eternal life and yet we sit back as though our wrists are bound with handcuffs and our mouths taped with duct tape!

When I rededicated my life to the Lord in 1988, I felt as if Jesus had reached down, taken my hand, and pulled me out of the bottomless pit of gloom and despair, leaving all of my friends to just keep falling. I pray for them to this day. Yet, this is what we are all doing if we just sit in this dormant state within our churches.

*Ephesians 5:8-9 “For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth),”
*Philippians 2:14-16 “Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain.”
*1 Peter 2:9-10 “But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; who once were not a people but are now the people of God, who had not obtained mercy but now have obtained mercy.”

*Luke 11:33 “No one, when he has lit a lamp, puts it in a secret place or under a basket, but on a lamp stand, that those who come in may see the light.”

Please join me in praying for how we may let our lights shine in the world of ever growing darkness and then let Him move us into action!

       This is one of the worship songs that we sang yesterday morning:  

May God bless you through my writing.  If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!

Hearing God's Voice - Edit 2013

I was just down sick for a couple of days so I decided to watch a movie that I’d recorded on the DVR. It was one that I’d seen before but truly loved and even had the soundtrack bought for me by my husband. I can be a very deep person, always analyzing everything and rather reading between the lines. This is the movie August Rush, which I first saw in the theater. This movie is described as fantasy but to me, along with another church friend of mine, we saw it fully as containing so many metaphors to hearing God’s voice or to God’s voice being present in this world. If you have seen this movie, or haven’t, you must try watching it and see if you see what we did. This is a part of one of the lines that speaks to me quite a bit -- you’ve gotta want Him “more than food” is one of the movie lines. And, there are many others.
But even though this entire movie is full of God sightings and recognition of the way He works and causes miracles in everyday life there are 2 lines that are my favorite: 

      Wizard (Robin Williams) is talking to August (Freddie Highmore).

      August: “So, only some of us can hear it.”
      Wizard: “Only some of us are listening.”

So important! God will speak to you, if you will only listen for His voice! There are other voices in this world that are willing to speak to you but ONLY God’s voice is the voice of the Master!

While watching this movie I was inspired to write:

      I want to hear Him
      I live for it!
      The voice of the Master
      And, my closest Friend!
      Music to my ears
      Peace upon my heart!

I’ve started an art journal with the beginning of this New Year where I can draw, paint, write, about anything I want to do to express myself. I’d recommend this to anyone who wants to get to know themselves better!

May God bless you through my writing. If He has especially touched you in any way, please leave a comment below. Your comments are so very encouraging to me to help me to keep writing. Also, click on the “Uptweet” button on the above right and share! I pray you will keep coming back. I fully believe that my writing is by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit so if I am writing, there is someone that needs to read it! Maybe it’s you? Also, please be sure to share any questions you might have with me and if you would like to keep them personal (just between you and me) please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at juliana.pace@gmail.com. If I don’t know how to answer you, I will may every attempt to refer you to someone for more information. Thanks and may God bless all your days!